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Dh leaves non swimming kids unattended....

(152 Posts)
Piratespoo Sat 23-Jan-16 18:50:54

My dh has taken my ds4 (complete non swimmer) and dd8 (can swim about 4 metres) swimming several times. My dd came back last time and said daddy had left them on their own while he went on the slides that they were too young for and just left them alone. I asked him if that was correct and he said yes, but they were fine in the little pool and it was just a few times. I said it isn't on, it isn't safe and he must not do it again. He begrudgingly agreed.

Today he has taken them again, and apparently he let them on their own about 5 times, went to the toilet and left them in the pool on their own while he went, and when I asked him it was correct, he said ," they are fine! I leave them in their own in one side of the pool and I am the other side and they are fine!" I got a bit cross and said it isn't fine and how can he not see it is dangerous and he got really cross and said he wasn't prepared to discuss it. I then said he isn't taking them again.

He then said to my dd that he was annoyed with her for "telling tales". She was upset at that and I had to say that daddy was wrong and he shouldn't have done it.

I am so angry that he won't see it. He will never admit to being wrong though.

Piratespoo Sat 23-Jan-16 18:52:52

I should have said AIBU to never let him take them again?

wickedwaterwitch Sat 23-Jan-16 18:54:43

He is wrong, you're not being unreasonable, he is. I'd be cross too.

BloodyPlantagenets Sat 23-Jan-16 18:55:36

Jesus he's an epic twat. YANBU at all.

wickedwaterwitch Sat 23-Jan-16 18:55:57

Creatureofthenight Sat 23-Jan-16 18:56:35

Swimming pool rules normally state that non-swimmers (children) should be accompanied by an adult at all times. If your DH needs to get out, the kids need to get out too. Im surprised the lifeguard didn't have a word.

99percentchocolate Sat 23-Jan-16 18:56:35

Absolutely not wrong. I nearly drowned in a swimming pool as a teenager - I was a very strong swimmer. It can happen in the blink of an eye.

Stanky Sat 23-Jan-16 18:56:53

yanbu. The trust is gone now anyway, and he doesn't sound sensible or responsible enough to take young dc swimming. You'll have to ensure that another responsible adult takes them.

DeAtHnOtE Sat 23-Jan-16 18:57:01

He left non swimmers alone in the pool so he could go on the slides? Then be blames a child for 'telling'? Is he 8? He sounds it.


Believeitornot Sat 23-Jan-16 18:57:13


What an idiot. Explain to him that the kids could drown.

starfishmummy Sat 23-Jan-16 18:59:14

If he stays with them and they both decide to drown themselves at the same time how could he rescue them both?
So yabu for not going with them.

On the other hand they are fine and the pool will have lifeguards.

BarbarianMum Sat 23-Jan-16 19:00:23

Too right he isn't taking them again, that's absurd. angry What other dangerous environments does he think it's ok to leave them unattended in-side of A roads?

99percentchocolate Sat 23-Jan-16 19:00:26

(You are not wrong I mean, DH is being a spectacular arse)

ijustwannadance Sat 23-Jan-16 19:01:07

Your 8 yo is much more mature than your DH. I am actually shocked that he wasn't pulled up on it by the life guards.
Water slides. What a fucking idiot.

dementedpixie Sat 23-Jan-16 19:02:16

He should stay with the 4 year old at all times. At our pool 8 year olds can go alone regardless of swimming status.

VikingVolva Sat 23-Jan-16 19:02:54

I'm really surprised the lifeguards didn't intervene if they were alone 5 times.

Quite a lot of pools will let in unaccompanied 8 year olds, they just don't allow unattended 4 yos.

So I'd be wondering if I'd got a the real story yet.

BarbarianMum Sat 23-Jan-16 19:04:51

starfish I think the idea is that having a parent present prevents them from starting to drown. That said, im pretty sure I could save both my children if they started to drown in a swimming pool. Even if I couldn't lift both I could shout "help" or something.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Sat 23-Jan-16 19:08:31

The 8 yo should be ok bring briefly left, but not the 4yo. And neither of them for something as stupid as going on slides.

He certainly shouldn't blame the 8yo for telling you! This shows he knew he was in the wrong I think.

Piratespoo Sat 23-Jan-16 19:11:21

I just checked, he had to queue up for the slide and went on 5 times. He also left them alone when he went to the loo. Am so annoyed he is so lacksidaisical (sp!) about their safety.

grumpysquash2 Sat 23-Jan-16 19:11:27

Why don't you go in too, then all bases are covered?

lovingmatleave Sat 23-Jan-16 19:11:54

At our local council pool the lifeguards would have picked up about that in an instant. He is so wrong. Would not trust him again.

GruntledOne Sat 23-Jan-16 19:13:06

Come off it, starfish, how likely is it that a four year old and an eight year old will start drowning simultaneously in the shallow end of a pool? And if they did the adult with them could shout for help.

However, it isn't appropriate for a parent of a non-swimmer to assume the lifeguards will in effect take over his responsibilities - the lifeguard is potentially watching 50 people at a time.

Goingtobeawesome Sat 23-Jan-16 19:14:16

When a parent does something that could result in a child being injured or dying, reasonableness or not does not come into it.

Is he more keen to score points, assert his manliness and remind you who's boss than acknowledge he has risked his children's lives?

Piratespoo Sat 23-Jan-16 19:18:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Piratespoo Sat 23-Jan-16 19:20:24

Oops wrong thread!

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