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Loud friend

(14 Posts)
TitfulExpress Sat 23-Jan-16 15:26:02

Ive known this Mum for a while now, we get on well and our DCs are the same age. 

My DS is pretty well behaved but when he does play up something is done about it where as this Mum's DS will play up and gets away it. She lets him run around in public, causing havoc and getting in people's way and says nothing. 

When she does it's usually just screaming his name repeatedly. Lately it's this "DS, GO AND STAND BY TITFUL NOW!!". Why? I am not his Mum, I am not going to tell him off. I feel no need for him to stand with me or hold my hand instead of hers.

I find the way she controls her child in public embarrassing and worry that when we are seen together people will tar me with the same brush. 

Today for example, whilst waiting for a bus a couple pushed in the queue. I did the typical British thing of raising my eyebrows and saying nothing, as far as I'm concerned it was rude but they're not going to take up the entire bus. Friend opted for this instead. Screaming loudly and passive aggressively "OH, WHATS THAT TITFUL? THEYVE PUSHED IN THE QUEUE WHEN WE WERE STOOD HERE FIRST?". Everyone heard this, everyone looked in our direction and as a introvert this embarrassed me massively. I turned to her and said as long as I can sit with DS it's no big deal and told her to calm down. 

A lady joined the queue behind us and I noticed she'd actually been waiting before us but sat to the side. I said she was here before me and gestured for her to go in front for her to say "are you sure your mate won't shout at me?". I just laughed and said I hope not! But it left me quite flustered because I assume this lady had lumped me in as being like my "mate" too. 

AIBU to want to just stop bothering with this Mum when it's just the two of us? She's so loud and gobby, two things I have never been and would hate for people to assume of me. There are times when we're out i wish the ground would swallow me whole. 

Stanky Sat 23-Jan-16 15:32:25

You should enjoy being in the company of your friends. If her behaviour is becoming stressful and unpleasant for you, then it might be time to distance yourself from her.

Conundrumparpapumpum Sat 23-Jan-16 17:45:56

How good friends, and what's ages, are dc?

RideEmCowgirl Sat 23-Jan-16 17:48:42

I agree with Stanky

AlwaysHopeful1 Sat 23-Jan-16 17:51:28

She sounds uncouth and embarrassing. I wouldn't want to associate with her tbh in case people think I'm just as bad as her.

TitfulExpress Sat 23-Jan-16 18:09:46

Conundrum, not very close but we see each other every week. Our DC are 2.

Always, that's my worry. I've always been quiet and kept myself to myself. To be out with someone who draws so much attention to themselves makes me anxious.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Sat 23-Jan-16 18:17:59

She's not just drawing attention to herself. She is trying to make you responsible for sorting out her DS ('go and stand by Tit') and trying to make out you were the person pointing out the queue-jumper ('What's that Tit, someone jumped the queue'). This is very manipulative, and IMHO at least as annoying as the 'loud' behaviour.

hefzi Sat 23-Jan-16 18:35:52

I don't blame you for not wanting to associate with someone like this - but honestly, spare yourself some angst here: life really is too short to worry about what some random people on public transport think of you!

Conundrumparpapumpum Sat 23-Jan-16 22:59:41

If they're only 2, and not close then I would agree with others. If you want to distance yourself, do. She does sound rather embarrassing (also generally quiet person).

BillBrysonsBeard Sun 24-Jan-16 02:04:15

Your child is 2, they don't need friends so stop putting yourself through this when you're feeling uncomfortable.

Theladyloriana Sun 24-Jan-16 21:05:22

Drop her immediately!!

Clearoutre Mon 25-Jan-16 08:20:51

Second hefzi try not to worry about the random comment.

Look at your friendship & decide if you'd rather she toned it down and you remain friends or whether you'd rather not be friends. If it's the former then say something, what have you got to lose?

Roussette Mon 25-Jan-16 08:36:23

I know it's wrong to find it funny Titful, but I am sort of imagining it and thinking how awful! I could not bear someone who does this - loud parenting gets on my tits, let alone loud comments so that everyone hears and I would have to hiss shut up, you're embarrassing yourself as well as me because I couldn't stand it.

AppleSetsSail Mon 25-Jan-16 08:42:19

I assume that loud people are also attention-seeking, one of my pet hates, so I avoid them.

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