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To hate hiding how odd i am

(166 Posts)
Faye12345 Sat 23-Jan-16 10:46:52

Hello all. Hope youre all ok. I wondered if anyone else hates hiding how bizarre they are? Im in a new job and its tiring because im having to adjust my personality to fit in. Anyone else with me?,

BackInTheRealWorld Sat 23-Jan-16 10:48:07

Why, what elements of your personality to you feel the need to hide?

YolandiFuckinVisser Sat 23-Jan-16 10:51:06

Why do you have to hide it?

LagunaBubbles Sat 23-Jan-16 10:51:49

What do you mean by bizarre?

MrsLeighHalfpenny Sat 23-Jan-16 10:52:05

In what way are you odd?

I think everyone is a little odd apart from me.

NarcyCow Sat 23-Jan-16 10:53:39

Everyone has their quirks. It's perfectly okay to let the mask slide a bit as you settle in.

Faye12345 Sat 23-Jan-16 10:58:16

Im often told by family and friends im eccentric and funny. I can spend alot of time alone and not really need company for a while but i do like people. I seem to have an odd personality though ie i have a very good imagination and really want to share my thoughts but think nocake

MaidOfStars Sat 23-Jan-16 11:01:40

I agree that everyone is a little odd, which means there's nothing unusual about being a little odd. What are you having to quash?

are you the kind of person who describes themself as 'quirky'?

usual Sat 23-Jan-16 11:04:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Squeegle Sat 23-Jan-16 11:06:10

You just have to wait a bit till you know your new colleagues a bit better! It is a strain having a new job smile

DurhamDurham Sat 23-Jan-16 11:08:13

You aren't one of those people who says 'I'm mad I am' and it turns out that although tiresome and annoying are dull as dishwater are you grin

Seriously though, don't hide your personality, it will be exhausting and I'm sure once people get to know you they will like you for who you are. Not everyone maybe, it's a rare person who is liked by all.

timelytess Sat 23-Jan-16 11:10:03

Oh my. If people knew my thoughts I'd be incarcerated for sure. Its hard work, OP, but keep it in. Why not use a range of anonymous message boards for self-expression? That works fairly well. But remember, if you don't want to answer to the psychiatrists or security services for it, don't say it and don't write it down. Maybe write a novel. You can get away with a lot that way.

Faye12345 Sat 23-Jan-16 11:11:05

No Durham im not dull at all. Although trying to hide my oddness probably makes me come across as dull!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Sat 23-Jan-16 11:14:48

I think it's better to hide "oddness" than go on and on and on and on and on and on and on an...... about how "odd/wacky/quirky/crazy" you are. Most people who think they are actually aren't.

If you really are "odd" your colleagues will work it out eventually.

NotOneIota Sat 23-Jan-16 11:14:56

I'm with you,OP. My belief system doesn't match the 'norm'. I tend not to give my true opinion on some of the conversations at work; I know I would get funny looks. They already think I'm weird because I don't celebrate xmas.

Make sure you have like minded friends that you can be yourself with.

ijustwannadance Sat 23-Jan-16 11:15:34

Embrace the weird. Life is too short to hide who you are.

QuietWhenReading Sat 23-Jan-16 11:16:50

TBH most people edit elements of their character at work.

Not many people behave at work exactly how they behave at home.

Faye12345 Sat 23-Jan-16 11:19:47

Thanks guys. I will take the advice on board confused

saoirse31 Sat 23-Jan-16 11:21:34

Hi op, you're not alone! Think everyone does it to some extent, some more than others. One poster said, try and have like minded people in your life, definitely do this. Realised recently I've v few people I can just be myself with... Not great really.

iciclewinter Sat 23-Jan-16 11:21:49

Are you in the right job? Would something else be a better fit for the real you?

CarbonEmittingPenguin Sat 23-Jan-16 11:22:23

I think it's perfectly acceptable to adjust your behaviour at work. It is after all a workplace but again it shouldn't be leaving you exhausted. Are you literally clinging to your desk so you don't jump up and start dancing and singing?

DurhamDurham Sat 23-Jan-16 11:23:00

Faye odd is always better than dull........reveal the real you at work on Monday, don't delay grin

MadamCroquette Sat 23-Jan-16 11:25:06

Faye YES I can relate to this! All sorts of stuff going on in my head, very imaginative and inquisitive, a massive range of interests, and I would love to be able to talk about anything and everything. I also had a very dysfunctional family background and I think I didn't learn a lot about how to behave. I know from what people have said that I'm considered odd and I know I've often been very blunt because I didn't realise there are things you're not meant to say. It's been a hard learning curve and the result is that now I often don't even start. I stand in the playground and I know I give off "don't chat to me" vibes because I will be terrible at a chitty chatty, meaningless conversation – I'm bad at it and I get so bored – but I know if I talked about what interests me, I'd sound weird.

So I think now people think I'm shy, humourless, standoffish etc which I'm not.

I don't have an office job and this is why – I used to, but I couldn't fit in. I was young then and didn't understand why, but looking back I was just too honest, too into my work and had no "curbs" on what I would say. I remember in that office the people I really got on with were extreme oddballs themselves. I went freelance and work at home - it suits me much better.

I love MN because here I can talk about things I'm interested in, and truths about myself that would be too heavy for an everyday conversation.

Are you new to MN? You might find it a bit of a lifesaver. I also think it's possible to make like-minded friends in RL, but it's hard because of course they will probably be holding back like you are. I do have some lovely friends, but in the main they just accept my oddness. I haven't found many who I can really say are like me, IYSWIM.

Lastly I have been told I very likely have ASD, but I haven't pursued a full diagnosis. I have read some books about it though and found them helpful.

Faye12345 Sat 23-Jan-16 11:25:10

Yes i am penguin!!!!

VulcanWoman Sat 23-Jan-16 11:26:33

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr Seuss.

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