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About dh's ExW

(53 Posts)
newmum1122 Fri 22-Jan-16 18:57:27

Gave birth to dd1 last week. Dh ExW was one of my visitors. She brought the dsc to see me and stayed with them, brought me flowers and a card etc. Lovely.
Now a few people are saying this is weird? I didn't even think anything of it at the time!

EmmalinaC Fri 22-Jan-16 19:00:35

Sounds to me like you're all behaving like sensible grown ups! Ignore anyone who tells you it's weird.

And congratulations! thanks

emotionsecho Fri 22-Jan-16 19:00:56

Sounds nice to me, why should she not visit with the dsc? Just because she is an ex of your dh there is no need for acrimony or distance sounds like you have a very good adult relationship which can only benefit all of you, especially the dsc, in the long run. Ignore the naysayers.

Congratulations on your ddflowers

x2boys Fri 22-Jan-16 19:01:10

well if you have an amicable enough relationship with her why should it be weird ? congratulations on your dd.

Gazelda Fri 22-Jan-16 19:02:28

As long as you were comfortable with it, then I think this was a lovely thing for her to do. She has shown her DCs how important you and your baby are to her, and how much affection she has for their 'other' family.

inlawsfromhell Fri 22-Jan-16 19:03:01

I think it was lovely the DC are related and look like EX fully understands what this means grin if everyone felt the same the world would be a better place

NeedsAMousekatool Fri 22-Jan-16 19:03:41

I don't think it's weird, but DH and I hang our with my ex fairly often and have even been away with our families. However I don't like DH's ex hanging out with him, because (a) she was horribly rude to me once and (b) she clearly still fancies him - we went to her birthday party and she would only come speak to him when I wasn't there. Actually (b) might be that she hates me, but either way.

I digress. YANBU if you're asking whether you're unreasonable to be ok with him having a cordial relationship with his ex. I think it's a good sign that people can be on good terms with an ex, obviously depending on the circumstances of the split.

MiddleClassProblem Fri 22-Jan-16 19:03:41

Sounds like you all have a good relationship and lovely to bring her child to meet its sibling. Friends sound like they only see drama with exes which isn't always the case.
I don't know what the AIBU question is though

Owllady Fri 22-Jan-16 19:05:30

It's good! smile nice, kind etc.
Congratulations

AyeAmarok Fri 22-Jan-16 19:05:32

Stop looking for problems where there aren't any!

newmum1122 Fri 22-Jan-16 19:06:59

I think having spent too long on mumsnet I always associate ex's with drama!
I think I was just so glad to see some friendly faces after a horrible 20 or so hours.
Glad to know it's not weird-some people obviously just aren't able to be grown ups in certain situations I guess!

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Fri 22-Jan-16 19:08:27

If you, DP, ex and kids are all happy then ignore anyone else! It's lovely that you all get along

HairySubject Fri 22-Jan-16 19:10:32

I had dinner with my exes ex very often when we were together. She still pops round now and I have their daughter very often, at least once a week.

LalaLyra Fri 22-Jan-16 19:12:56

People who've never experienced it find it odd. You didn't so just ignore it. My DH was widowed when we met and I get on very well with his MIL. We call her my "Other MIL". People, especially her friends, find it very odd that we get on so well, but it's whats best for Ds(technically Dss).

BitOutOfPractice Fri 22-Jan-16 19:13:26

I don't think it's weird at all, I think it's great. Imagine all the stress and angst that you have saved the DSC from by being so amicable. They can just concentrate on getting to know the newest member of the family

Congratulations on the baby btw thanks

RayofFuckingSunshine Fri 22-Jan-16 19:15:02

I think it's lovely when people can get along. DH's ex gf is looking after DD1 when I go into labour with DD2.

caitlinohara Fri 22-Jan-16 19:19:18

How nice. Congratulations on your new baby and on having such a nice relationship with his ex!

VimFuego101 Fri 22-Jan-16 19:20:43

As someone who has to deal with the far less pleasant behaviour of DH's ex-wife, I would LOVE to have to deal with this smile

LadyLuck81 Fri 22-Jan-16 19:22:23

I think that's lovely. Grown up relationships around. Hurrah. And congratulations.

GingerNutRiskIt Fri 22-Jan-16 19:23:31

DH's ex is now my cousins DW. Cousin was best friend with DH, which is how I met him. I get on really well with her. There's never been any awkwardness. In fact it never crosses my mind except for when we have a laugh about years ago, and even then it's just a laugh.

Congratulations btw, and I agree with other people, don't let anyone tell you it's weird, I think when there's children involved you have to all be on talking terms.

redexpat Fri 22-Jan-16 19:24:21

That sounds wonderful, and functional, and grown up, and a bloody good example to the children.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 22-Jan-16 19:25:32

Perfect. Congratulations flowers. Take it for what it is, and don't look for problems!

Ledkr Fri 22-Jan-16 19:28:00

No weird these dates.
I looked after dh's dd with his dp while she had their dd2.
They're kids come to my Dds birthday parties too.
His dp was the ow too! Congrats

Heatherplant Fri 22-Jan-16 19:28:36

Nah, DH exW and my exW (yeh I know how that looks) were the first people we told when we had DS1. We have a good relationship with both other couples. No point fighting and making yourselves bloody miserable, far better to get along!

IThoughtItWasAFart Fri 22-Jan-16 19:30:10

Yes yes well done, stealth boast you all get on well congratulations.

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