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To think that if you think a bloke fancies you he probably does?

(51 Posts)
WineIsFineAtNine Fri 22-Jan-16 16:48:17

DD(20) has come home with an intense attraction to a man she met today. A proper fanny gallop, butterflies, feels sick and hasn't been able to eat attraction. She met him through a professional capacity (don't want to give away too much!) and feels the connection was the same. A colleague of hers said he kept looking at DD during the meeting. aibu to think that if you think a bloke fancies you then he probably does?

Titsywoo Fri 22-Jan-16 16:50:25

Depends on the person really. I tend to know when people fancy me but I bet there are people who get the signals very wrong. But if he kept looking at your DD the likelihood is the feeling is mutual smile

Custard314 Fri 22-Jan-16 16:52:39

I don't know. I've been delusional many times. I fancy men out of my league though.

I think if you fancy people roughly the same level of attractiveness, then it's likely but not definite that the attraction is reciprocated.

A man can fancy you but not fancy you enough to chase after you, make any effort, ask you out............ he can fancy you in a half-hearted way. I've learnt that the hard way too. Omg, boo hoo poor me.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Fri 22-Jan-16 16:54:22

I think probably yes but it doesn't mean he is interested doing anything about it.

Fairylea Fri 22-Jan-16 16:54:22

Yabu. Many a stalker is built on that belief.

Not saying your dd is a stalker by the way, just that unrequited fancying is very common!

UndramaticPause Fri 22-Jan-16 16:54:44

Yabu. Infatuation is often one way

Spanglecrab Fri 22-Jan-16 16:55:42

fanny gallop grin

Casmama Fri 22-Jan-16 16:56:40

So pleased your dd can tell you about her galloping fanny grin

IPityThePontipines Fri 22-Jan-16 16:58:26

"fanny gallop"

Please tell me this is not a common turn of phrase?

In response to the OP, YABU. Have you never been subjected to someone declaring that so and so is clearly crazy about them, when all they've done is say good morning to them?

Also, what Custard said.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Fri 22-Jan-16 16:59:24

YABUtterlyRidiculous and leaving yourself/your DD wide open to utter humiliation grin

Unless Harrison Ford really does fancy me, in which case I take it all back.

GreenRug Fri 22-Jan-16 17:00:15

I don't think it's a foregone conclusion that if you think someone fancies you they probably do, no. In my younger years I remember very much fancying two men (not at same time), and being convinced the feeling was mutual. I wasn't a delusional type, neither were they in a different league to me looks wise but neither did either of them fancy me back! ( I know, I asked..).

handslikecowstits Fri 22-Jan-16 17:02:07

No OP sadly not. It's easy to deceive oneself. <voice of experience> sad

MackerelOfFact Fri 22-Jan-16 17:03:24

I don't agree - I am naturally quite a nervy person and people often mistakenly believe I fancy them! I don't, I'm just a generally slightly stuttery, flustered, ruddy-cheeked people-pleaser!

Gobbolino6 Fri 22-Jan-16 17:58:16

I've always known myself but given friends' experiences I wouldn't say that's universal.

WineIsFineAtNine Fri 22-Jan-16 18:03:42

Ahhhh ok...
I'm quite naive to this whole fancying thing as I met DH at university through a society, felt like this about him and was right grin now 46, been married for 23 years with 3 DD's and don't feel like this about anybody including DH

Will tell DD ones own attraction can cause delusions and it was probably her attraction to him the embarrassed, can't look him in the eye feeling was what caused the 'attraction'.

Tbh I'm quite relieved as she had a similar experience last year and he did pursue her but turned out to be married with 3 DCs!

WineIsFineAtNine Fri 22-Jan-16 18:04:46

Although DD has always been right in the past when she suspected blokes have fancied her.

Yes, she said fanny gallops to me.

whatdoIget Fri 22-Jan-16 18:15:19

I think it can be easy to interpret behaviours to fit in with what you wish. I've only realised this quite recently though.

RonniePickering Fri 22-Jan-16 18:16:43

Love the fanny gallops grin 🏇

Duckdeamon Fri 22-Jan-16 18:17:22


CaptainCrunch Fri 22-Jan-16 18:20:32

Sorry but it's not guaranteed he fancies her in the slightest and the colleague might have been telling her what she wanted to hear.

Junosmum Fri 22-Jan-16 18:34:17

If you are good at reading people, then yes, if you think he (someone) fancies you they probably do. I'm not often wrong about whether I stand a chance with someone (though now I'm happily married). I once got 'the eyes' off the husband of a friend, told my husband I thought he had a thing for me, husband told me not to be ridiculous, a few months later on a night out the husband of friend came on to me when he thought I was drunk. I'm glad that I had an inkling, I was able to rebuff him quickly. Some of my friends however get it very very wrong quite often.

SirChenjin Fri 22-Jan-16 18:39:08

YABU - very very easy to get it wrong and hear/see what you want when your fanny is galloping (felt a bit sick just even typing that...)

hereiamagain22 Fri 22-Jan-16 18:47:00

I like the phrase fanny gallops. I usually think 'he gives me a wide-on' in the same circumstances!

Erm, but it's easy to delude yourself, sorry.

They were in a work meeting. You are supposed to look at the other people in a work meeting. His looking at her could well mean absolutely nothing - it's normal behaviour in a work meeting! I suppose it depends on the way he was looking...

AyeAmarok Fri 22-Jan-16 18:47:55

I'd like to think this was true, but you hear too often mem who think you fancy them becoming weird stalkers. And I'm sure the reverse is true.

Plus, looking at someone and thinking Phwoar is different to actually wanting to do something about it.

He may think she's hot, but may be coupled up already and have absolutely no interest, for a variety of reasons.

I spent yesterday staring at a man who was presenting something, but it was because I liked his accent, I hope he doesn't think I fancied him shock

OTheHugeManatee Fri 22-Jan-16 18:48:14

Not exactly. I think if you can sense sexual tension then chances are the other person can too. Sexual tension can be present with both people aware of it, without there being a mutual attraction.

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