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To be annoyed by exessive "do not" signs and notices everywhere

(56 Posts)
SpoiltMardyCow Fri 22-Jan-16 15:13:11

I went to a private members club this evening and noticed an excess of signs. Within eye-view, there must have been 10 signs:

"security cameras in operation" - about 5 of these
"in accordance with health and safety, children are not permitted 1m from the bar"
"No billiards game to be played 15 minutes before closing"
"Don't stand here - bar serving area"
"No smoking"
"It is against the law to knowingly buy drinks for under-age guests"
"Don't drink and drive"
"Abuse of bar staff will not be tolerated"

I swear if aliens landed on earth, they would thing we were a bunch of imbeciles who had to be told what to do all the time.

I find these signs really offensive. We're paying customers and we're constantly being shouted at by ugly signs. Does it drive you crazy too!??

Peel your eyes next time you're in public. You might hoik your bosom too! smile

TheCatsMeow Fri 22-Jan-16 15:14:08

Unfortunately there are idiots who if it wasn't literally spelled out would do it.

SewSlapdash Fri 22-Jan-16 15:15:24

At least 2 of these are legally required to be displayed confused

LurkingHusband Fri 22-Jan-16 15:16:17

Unfortunately there are idiots who even when it is if it wasn't literally spelled out would still do it.

might be closer to the truth.

TheCatsMeow Fri 22-Jan-16 15:17:30

Lurking true!

MrsLeighHalfpenny Fri 22-Jan-16 15:17:51

It's not just private members' clubs - this type of sign is everywhere.

Putting up a sign that says (eg) "do not drop litter" doesn't stop anyone dropping litter. You're either a litter dropper or you aren't.

Where I work there are signs urging caution all over the place
- don't run on the stairs
- water in toilet taps is hot
- water in cups of tea is hot
- don't drive too fast in the car park
- don't stand on the toilet seat (wtf???)
- please separate your rubbish into the correct bins
- don't congretate in the stair wells

and so on, and on, and on, and on, and on. Drives me nuts.

TheCatsMeow Fri 22-Jan-16 15:19:49

don't stand on the toilet seat (wtf???)

Haha this ones cultural, some places you squat over the toilet so some confused tourists were climbing onto the seats lol

SpoiltMardyCow Fri 22-Jan-16 15:19:51

I wonder when "no smoking" signs indoors will be like "no pissing on the carpet", younger people will not even remember a time when you could smoke inside.

Incidentally, why do they still put ashtrays on new aircraft? I read the reason a while ago but as usual, it's gone right out of my pretty little head (despite the fact I can remember every line of Girls On Film from 20 years ago).

SpoiltMardyCow Fri 22-Jan-16 15:22:45

I forget this gem in the toilet at the club (btw, it's a yacht club but not a posh one, obvs):

"Be careful, toilet roll holder breaks easily"

MrsLeighHalfpenny Fri 22-Jan-16 15:23:30

I know it's cultural - we are in the UK, although we do have a fairly high contractor population here on short term visas. There are other toilet instructions in the same vein - "do not open door with foot" and others I can't remember right now.

Why does every public building have a sign outside saying, words to the effect of, "this is a non-smoking building". EVERY building apart from private homes is a non-smoking building by law.

ClaudiaWankleman Fri 22-Jan-16 15:25:02

I agree. It's not the fact that the signs have to be there that annoys me, more the way in which they're written.

Other cultures have much more polite/ poetic signs. 'Fragrant, tender grass. How hardhearted to trample them' was my favourite from the Bird's Nest Stadium.

LalaLyra Fri 22-Jan-16 15:28:58

spoilt They still have ashtrays so that if someone accidentally (or moronically) lights up on board there is someone safe to extinguish it.

LalaLyra Fri 22-Jan-16 15:29:40

Somewhere safe.

angelos02 Fri 22-Jan-16 15:33:06

I was at a popular visitors attraction recently and in the loos there was a sign saying 'please put toilet paper into the toilet'. Where else are you going to put it?!

SpoiltMardyCow Fri 22-Jan-16 15:35:12

Yes, quite Claudia! I wrote to my local convenience store recently because I was so offended by their 3 massive red "Thieves will be prosecuted" signs by their tills. I pointed out that if we are queuing up to give them our hard earned cash, we are hardly going to be thieving.
They have removed them all and replaced them with little signs around the shop saying something like "We reward thieves with a free trip in a police car".

alltouchedout Fri 22-Jan-16 15:37:21

angelos02 iirc there are places where you are asked NOT to put toilet paper into the toilet but to bin it instead, so maybe those signs are aimed at people from those places?

ClaudiaWankleman Fri 22-Jan-16 15:37:34

Angelos It's quite common in some countries to put all toilet paper into the bin as the pipes can be too narrow. I assume it's for tourists.

MuttonDressedAsMutton Fri 22-Jan-16 15:38:35

Much of this is a direct result of the litigious society in which we now live. Since you can now sue someone to death if your coffee is hot or you find a bone in a fucking fish I suppose it has to be assumed that your average person is more stupid than a paramecium and has to be treated as such.
I agree with you OP - it fucks me off to hell and back grin

Decanter Fri 22-Jan-16 15:38:52

Tesla - Signs

And the sign says "Long-haired freaky people need not apply"
So I put my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that, huh, me working for you"

Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs
Fuckin' up the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign

And the sign says "Anybody caught trespassing will be shot on sight"
So I jumped the fence and I yelled at the house
Hey! What gives you the right!
To put up a fence and keep me out, or to keep Mother Nature in
If God was here, he'd tell it to your face, man, you're some kind of sinner


Oh, say now mister, can't you read
You got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat
You can't watch, no you can't eat, you ain't supposed to be here

And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" - uh!

And the sign says "Everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray"
But then they passed around a plate at the end of it all
And I didn't have a penny to pay
So I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own fuckin' sign
I said, "Thank you Lord for thinking 'bout me, I'm alive and doing fine",

LurkingHusband Fri 22-Jan-16 15:39:29

One imagines the smoking ban was really sponsored by a shadowy cabal of sign manufacturers.

LurkingHusband Fri 22-Jan-16 15:40:58

Maybe bleeding obvious signs are subliminal ... maybe "Thieves will be prosecuted" has been shown to lead to a reduction in thefts, as people subconsciously notice it ?

LisaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 22-Jan-16 15:44:07

My pet peeve is laminated instructions in b&b rooms. Little signs about where to put the dirty towels, not to leave the light/heating on, how to call reception if you need anything (yes, someone to come and take away the annoying little signs), how to order sachets of shampoo etc. I think they really ruin the atmosphere of the room - everything should just be put in the guest file (and then you only need ONE sign to say: 'This is the guest file - ALL our annoying little instructions and warnings and helpful promptings can be found here').

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Fri 22-Jan-16 15:47:03

YANBU. We went to a holiday cottage once and they had A4 signs all over the walls listing what you were not allowed to do. We didnt even bother reading most of them tbh. And wouldn't go back.

wasonthelist Fri 22-Jan-16 15:58:17

YANBU OP but I assume you dread any visit to any kind of Hospital/Doctor's surgery etc as much as me in that case. Waiting room full of signs about stuff not to do (and things you MUST do NOW), a scrolling readout of the number of no-shows this week ...hello???? I HAVE SHOWED UP, I AM HERE, put the scrolling message in the houses of the people who didn't.

SpoiltMardyCow Fri 22-Jan-16 16:02:29

I just think it's so hostile and anti-customer.

I find it so hard to go somewhere and not notice it all the time.

My worst favourite is at a local watering hole.

"Cash Only. No Cards. Bank machine available $2 charge. No split bills. Queue at till for food. Collect cutlery. $1 for ketchup"

The above wealth of instruction is not put on one sign, but considerately dotted around the bar area on a series of red warning signs with helpful exclamation marks.

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