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Coming 'home'

(7 Posts)
Pominoz1 Thu 21-Jan-16 17:33:46

I have tried to work this out in my head for several months now but it's still bugging me.
After 7 years of living in Australia our family moved back to the UK.
Our move there was never meant to be permanent, more an opportunity arose and we took it.
Our mothers were pretty vile to us in the lead up to our departure but I tried to understand their feelings.
On my arrival back my son and I stayed with my mother and step father for a few weeks until my husband joined us. We then went to stay with sil while our house sale was going through.
Those weeks at my mothers were horrendous. She said "well I won't be able to go to Singapore now you're back". It seems that on her next trip out she was planning a stop over there. Then proceeded to tell me I "was mad to come back". Basically, in a nutshell, I feel like I was the source of free holidays and now I just sh*t on her dreams of a retirement in Oz.
I feel sad and angry at her. After we left her place she literally didn't call once, not even to see how son got on at new school. She refused our invitation to Christmas dinner. We barely speak at all now and when we do it is very strained. The worse feeling is I'm not sure I even want to try and sort anything out, all I really want to do is yell at her for being so nasty and ask why?
Now our family have flown the nest, we have 1 teenage son, I don't have to visit with the grandchildren etc any more and I'm not sure we even have anything in common any more. How hard is it to say 'welcome home'

DottyBlue2 Thu 21-Jan-16 17:49:07

Families are very odd.

LucilleBluth Thu 21-Jan-16 17:52:22

We came back from five years in Canada, four years ago. You hit the nail on the head with free holiday....we were the best aunt, uncle, brother, sis in law ever......now we are around the corner they can't be arsed with us.

I came home on my own to get the DCs settled in school whilst DH sold the house, I stayed with my SIL, DHs sister......it was hands down the worst experience of my life and caused a rift that will never be healed.

MitzyLeFrouf Thu 21-Jan-16 17:52:24

It's entirely of your mother's making so don't feel bad. Do you think she had been angling to come and live with you in Australia? Dodged a bullet there.

Pominoz1 Thu 21-Jan-16 19:40:57

LucilleBluth .. sorry you had a similar experience. Funnily enough my SIL has been wonderful and we get on better than ever. Their welcome was so warm.

MitzyLeFrouf ... I KNOW she wanted to retire there with me when her husband died.

SquinkiesRule Thu 21-Jan-16 20:00:53

What a horrible welcome home from your Mum.
Mine welcomed us home and we all moved into her 3 bed house, bless her it was a big squeeze.
We get on as well as ever and it's nice to see my sister annually when she comes to UK, I didn't see her for many years.
I'd leave her too it, she'll either come round and get over herself or she's cut herself off.
Make sure to mention she can always go on holiday to Aus and stop off in Singapore, it's all still there without you being there.

Paintedhandprints Thu 21-Jan-16 20:20:47

Dodged a bullet there though. Imagine if she had retired there to live with you. Sorry op.

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