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AIBU?

to not want my 15 year old DD to have the top of her ear (helix?) pierced?

123 replies

mustbemad71 · 21/01/2016 08:48

She is badgering me about it - really not keen but it's her body? Will the hole close up completely if she changes her mind in a few years? Worried it will catch on something as she does a lot of sport and dance - ear rips? AIBU?

OP posts:

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RochelleGoyle · 21/01/2016 08:52

Yes, it will heal if the piercing is removed. I had 4 piercings to the upper part of my ear and they all healed over. I seem to remember being about that age when I started getting them too!

GreatFuckability · 21/01/2016 08:53

I have mine done. I think i was about 14/15 getting it. haven't worn jewellery in it for a long time, but i could if i wanted to. so no, i dont tbink it will ever heal over totally, but then again, you can't see it or anything so doesn't really matter in that respect. its no more likely to rip/get pulled than normal piercings.

RochelleGoyle · 21/01/2016 08:53

So, YABU.

honeysucklejasmine · 21/01/2016 08:53

She'll have to take it out or take it up for sports etc.

Not sure on your other peoints though. But in the grand scheme of teenage piercings, it really could be a lot worse!

honeysucklejasmine · 21/01/2016 08:54

Tape it up.

Points.

Bluecheese22 · 21/01/2016 08:54

I've got 10 piercings in my ear and all would heal equally well, regardless of which part of the ear. Just make sure it's done with a needle and she keeps it clean.

skippy67 · 21/01/2016 08:55

I have my helix pierced and so do a lot of the girls I play netball with. We have to remove all jewellery when we play. It's not a problem.

BeyondBootcampsAgain · 21/01/2016 08:56

Yyy to making sure it is done with a needle!!!

I used to dance and never caught my earrings, but obviously i cant promise she wont

MrsGradyOldLady · 21/01/2016 08:56

My 15 year old has quite a few ear piercings - which I do like and think it looks pretty cool. I used to have quite a few facial piercings and the only one that hasn't healed up is the one I had on my nose which now looks like a big blackhead which is nice.

Will school be ok with it? My daughters school is pretty relaxed but I know some to make them remove them.

moreshitandnofuckingredemption · 21/01/2016 08:56

I say "pick your battles" - no permanent damage and gives her some autonomy, it's low-risk credit in the Mum bank so let her!

GastonsPomPomWrath · 21/01/2016 08:58

I did mine myself with a friends unsterilised sharp earring in the park when I was about 13 haven't worn an earring in it for years but it's still there and not healed over. It is completely unnoticeable if that's any consolation.

I think yabu. It's a tiny thing compared to all the other teenager ish things she could be doing or interested in.

starfishmummy · 21/01/2016 09:05

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

thewavesofthesea · 21/01/2016 09:10

One of friends did it at that age.....and hid it from her mum and dad until she was at least 25! Clever hair coverage :-)

pasturesgreen · 21/01/2016 09:11

I had mine done when I was around 18. My parents were not enthusiastic when they found out on a visit home, but nothing much they could do.

Still like it now at 30, and with long hair it's pretty inconspicuous. Allowed under my company's dress code rules, so no problems there.

It does catch for example at the hairdresser, so I'd definitely recommend taking it out.

WitchSharkadder · 21/01/2016 09:12

I would let her. She's 15 and it's such a tiny thing in the scheme of things. I had 6 piercings in each ear at that age and most of them are healed now (apart from the ones I still wear earrings in). Sport-wise, it's really no different to having 'normal' ear piercings.

mustbemad71 · 21/01/2016 09:13

Thanks everyone. I think I'll tell her yes at the end of the school year in July so that she has 8 weeks with no PE and can take it out by the time school starts again in September. Only 5 months to wait - by which time she may change her mind anyway. XH will go spare - he wanted her to wait until 18 when she got her ears pierced a few years ago!

OP posts:

fastdaytears · 21/01/2016 09:14

I had it at that age and don't seem to have suffered any ill effects. It looks pretty (I think) and it's not permenant.

But make sure she thinks it's a huge concession so you get maximum mileage from letting her do it.

IHeartKingThistle · 21/01/2016 09:14

I'd let her. My sister did it at the same age and used to connect it to her normal ear piercing with a bar or a chain. Honestly, it was very cool.

She hasn't worn anything in it for years now and there's no visible hole.

BTW she also had her lip pierced which was seriously NOT cool and you can't even see that hole any more! It's important they get to express themselves at that age, and piercings are a lot less permanent than tattoos!

fastdaytears · 21/01/2016 09:14

XH will go spare

Even better!

The end of the school year sounds like a good plan as the PE teachers may well want it out.

BeaufortBelle · 21/01/2016 09:34

If this is tiny in the context of what some of your teenagers do I dread to think what some of your teenagers are getting up to .

She's 15, she can't have it done without your consent. I would not give my consent. My DS went on and on and on about this until he was about 18.5 and then had it done in the summer holidays before uni somewhere in Camden Market. He was as pleased as punch I was very cross with him and always referred to it as "his maiming". It never really healed up very well, it was always getting sore, he regularly asked me to get him some lotion/alcohol for it and I always refused telling him to get it himself as he was old enough to have a piercing. Happily it has more than put DD off the idea.

After about 18 months he got fed with it and removed it. It has, joyfully, healed up perfectly and he now admits it was a very silly rite of passage and he wishes he hadn't bothered.

He couldn't have done it when he was still at school anyway because fortunately his school is sensible and wouldn't have allowed him to wear it.

Suspect, like me, that he is allergic to various metals. I can only wear 18ct gold in my ears - or silver. I wasn't going to tell him that though lest he splashed out on a top quality piercing and found it was all super.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 21/01/2016 09:38

It is permanent! I haven't worn an earring in mine for a good 10 years an the hole is still there. It's barely visible and only if you are looking closely.
You are being unreasonable though, she's old enough to make her own decisions about her body (tattoos and cosmetic surgery excepted obviously)

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 21/01/2016 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 21/01/2016 09:39

She's 15, she can't have it done without your consent

Who told you that? There is no legal minimum age for Piercings apart from genital piercings

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 21/01/2016 09:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RochelleGoyle · 21/01/2016 09:42

BeaufortBelle 'I wasn't going to tell him that though lest he splashed out on a top quality piercing and found it was all super.'

So you let him suffer out of spite? Thanks Mum.

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