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to leave my employment

(36 Posts)
Concerned97 Thu 21-Jan-16 07:14:46

Posting here for traffic!

I have been employed at a small firm for six years, it's been a roller coaster, to say the least!

Last year was particularly hard due to a severe shortage of staff, employing unsuitable but "cheap" staff. Together with a huge back office system implementation that I managed single handed.

By the end of the year, I was at breaking point, having worked 12 hour days, weekends, from home to try and keep things moving, even that was failing, I still couldn't keep up with demand.

The industry I work in has a massive issue with lack of qualified staff, my remuneration is good, on par with the sector "top paid" jobs. During my review I was awarded a substantial bonus 12.5% of my salary. I have just received this.

However, whilst the money is very nice, I did actually work the hours and many more to earn it, with no request or offer of remuneration. I was also given a very nice lunch for myself and husband as a thank you.

The problem is though, that the day to day treatment that I receive is erratic at best and unacceptable at worst.

When I approached the partners about the level of work/stress etc, I was greeted with "oh you're not going to whinge are you". I was working twelve hour days, weekends, from home etc. But that was swept under the carpet.

Some days all is good, other days I am spoken to like a second class citizen for any minor misdemeanour, so far no major incidents have happened with regard to the time I was working alone, but there may or may not be something in the background that hasn't come to light.

So thankfully we managed to employ a really great person, been there one month, all going well, so far so good. I can see light at the end of the tunnel, getting work backlog cleared, but as usual nothing I do is "right", if I do something one way, it should be done another, the partners do not fulfil their duties, impacts on me, but still my fault when things are not done to the required standard. I am deemed responsible and accountable for everything. It's not acceptable, tried countless times to discuss it.

I appreciate that the bonus proves that I am valued and is too retain me working there, but their attitude is not acceptable.

Yesterday was my birthday. Myself and new colleague called into partners, not even a good morning from either partner, then a tirade of "not good enough, blah, blah" for not catching up with the backlog quickly enough, this is months of working alone and cutting corners. When we came out of the office, my colleague said "why so much anger" over such a small issue, they always seem to be angry about little things?" She Pretty much summed it up.

Now this is just one incident, but I do feel after six years working there, I expect a. "Good morning", and a happy birthday.... One partner managed to grunt it at me during the course of the day, the other said nothing, then last night I get a text saying, didn't get a chance to say it today but happy birthday. Without doubt he knew it was my birthday, he had every opportunity to speak to me during the day. This is just an example, he blows hot and cold all the time. Obviously realised that he was out of order so text last night!

So, I had a light bulb moment, a recruitment agency who I keep in touch with sent me a spec saying I know you're not looking but this is really local, are you interested? I felt really pissed off that a simple pleasantry could not be given. So I suddenly thought "bollocks, I'm going for it.

I think it's time to move on, but feel massively guilty about the fact I've just received a bonus. But I am tired and stressed and not happy. I cannot get them to work as a team, things happen I blow up, they do it for a short while, then they revert back. They are sometimes really nice, but then really awful.

I am lucky that the industry will mean that I really should not have a problem with future employment.

AIBU, when I've received a bonus and I now have some decent help? I am shocked at the fact that this maybe simple thing has after all the stress made me feel really "fuck them" it maybe seems petty?

Berthatydfil Thu 21-Jan-16 07:25:29

The bonus is for work done do you earned it. You've had a tough time and it's taken its toll on you and if you feel you can't sustain it you're under no obligation to continue.
Do what's right for you don't feel guilty.

Hotbot Thu 21-Jan-16 07:27:03

You owe them nothing

nutbrownhare15 Thu 21-Jan-16 07:32:34

The bonus doesn't begin to cover the extra work you have done, as you say. Your employers clearly realise they are taking advantage of you but thought that it would smooth things over for the time being. Noone should have to work in such a toxic work environment. I would be ringing that recruitment consultant today and looking forward to a much better life very soon!

LaurieFairyCake Thu 21-Jan-16 07:37:46

Maybe it will make you feel more realistic if you actually calculated what that bonus meant to you as an hourly rate for the hours you worked.

Bet it's less than minimum wage even if it's thousands.

Agree that you owe them nothing. You're not a school girl and you shouldn't be spoken to like that.

originalmavis Thu 21-Jan-16 07:41:31

Partnership. Feh. They own the business, and staff are basically 'units'. I works for one where the attitude was 'I'm worling long days,so should support staff'. The difference being that when they completed a deal they could get £400k fee.

Some were nice, others not but overall it was not a great environment - very competitive and stressful. I fimd business owners dont make the best bosses - maybe it a the ''I'm in charge' attitude with no comeback -who do you complain to when theyve been a git?

PicnicPie Thu 21-Jan-16 07:48:09

Financial reward is for work you've done. You still deserve to be treated and spoken to respectfully, and saying that, that should be the case if you work your socks off or not.

I think if you have good prospects of getting another job (which it sounds like you do) then I'd say go for it. There is no excuse for their behaviour.

Go for it.

HPsauciness Thu 21-Jan-16 07:48:33

You have been a great employee for them! They have benefited hugely from your willingness to go above and beyond. The money is kind of irrelevant in that it is for work achieved, and I'm pretty sure that you will get well renumerated when you go elsewhere.

Please get out, these people are not nice to you, their behaviour is quite bullying, I would not accept being spoken to like that in my workplace and you shouldn't either- any 'deficiencies' should be spoken about in a calm way over a proper meeting, not someone basically taking their crapness and inefficiency out on you.

Definitely time to move on...

theycallmemellojello Thu 21-Jan-16 07:56:20

Of course you're not unreasonable to make career decisions based on your own interests. No one, least of all your employers, would expect otherwise. If you're asking is their behaviour unreasonable - it's hard to tell on the information given. They're entitled to pull you up on misdemeanours etc. But if you don't like it, it's clearly not unreasonable to move on!

Concerned97 Thu 21-Jan-16 07:56:22

Oh you lot are just great, you are right .

As an addition to this, Bern there six years, one sickness absence of four days for surgery!! Never ever been off such apart from that .

They are millionaires and I'm on a pittance by comparison.

Would you all be pissed off by the lack of "happy birthday" it really has got to me!

OllyBJolly Thu 21-Jan-16 07:56:58

Agree that you have to look after yourself - do what's right for you.

What you're describing isn't uncommon in small businesses. The owners are only accountable to themselves and often get away with murder. If there's no sign of things getting better then look for something else. Just be careful you're not moving into a similar type situation.

And don't resign until you have a firm, written offer.

Gobbolino6 Thu 21-Jan-16 07:57:28

I think they are stressed and taking it out on you, since it is clear from the bonus that they value your work. That is unprofessional. I would look for another job, but once I received a firm offer, I might be tempted to sit down with them and explain, professionally, your reasons for leaving, in case they can offer a solution.

Gobbolino6 Thu 21-Jan-16 07:58:19

And, in my experience, management in small businesses can often be like this. It's infuriating.

WeAllHaveWings Thu 21-Jan-16 07:58:54

Life is too short.
Try somewhere else if you have that opportunity.

ArgyMargy Thu 21-Jan-16 08:01:31

I don't get your problem - you whinge about earning a pittance then whinge about getting a bonus. Adults don't need to be told Happy Birthday by people they work with (esp if they don't seem to respect or like those people). If you want to move to another firm just go.

Waltermittythesequel Thu 21-Jan-16 08:03:24

I'd try not to get bogged down in the happy birthday thing because their treatment and expectations are much bigger problems.

You worked your arse off for that bonus. You earned it. It was for work done and not for future work, remember that!

No harm in chatting with the recruiter and other company to see what your options are.

I used to work in recruitment and we always warned clients to be leary of jobs who offer to match/increase salary after you've told them you're resigning, because if they recognised and appreciated your worth, they would have paid it in the first place. So be careful not to fall into that trap with them.

Is this really worth burning yourself out for?

They can't even say two words to you but you feel guilty?

In summary: fuck that.

Concerned97 Thu 21-Jan-16 08:03:50

Gobbo, I resigned about three years ago due to a dreadful comment over my mothers death and time off.

They begged me to stay and things would change, but of course they haven't.

My mother had died, she was 84 it was unexpected. I came in everyday up to the day of the funeral for as many hours as I could, but needed to sort funeral, death certs etc. I asked for two and half days for funeral, the afternoon before for the body coming into church, the day off the funeral and the day after.

I was told I could have the afternoon before and the day of the funeral but the day after would need to be taken as leave ....

Because they would not pay me a day off for a hangover!!! Those actual fucking words!!

Concerned97 Thu 21-Jan-16 08:07:01

Argy, where did I whinge about getting a bonus??? I said I felt guilty for leaving so soon after? I said it did show appreciation??

VimFuego101 Thu 21-Jan-16 08:07:16

A bonus is for work already done - it sounds like you earned it many times over and have nothing to feel guilty about. I would definitely follow up on the new opportunity.

originalmavis Thu 21-Jan-16 08:07:40

Anywhere else you'd be straight to hr and they'd get called in.

Bailey101 Thu 21-Jan-16 08:08:15

The bonus is for work you've done, not work you will be doing and it certainly isn't an excuse to treat you like shit. I was in a very similar situation to you a few years ago, and when I left for a better job it was like a ton weight had been lifted - it was the best thing I could have done! You spend more item at work then anywhere else, if you had a chance to make it more enjoyable, take it!!

Good luck!

Eliza22 Thu 21-Jan-16 08:26:08

Take the cash, you've earned it. Then, make your move. It's time. And good luck!

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 21-Jan-16 08:26:14

Apply for the new job and do not feel at all guilty about doing so or leaving this current position.

The bonus you received was for work done. You deserve to be spoken to in a respectful manner (infact I left my first job mainly because one of the senior partners was an extremely rude man who treated almost everyone around him very badly indeed. I no longer wanted to work in such an oppressive atmosphere) . Poor management here is also to blame.

What is there to feel guilty about; they have treated you very badly. Its they who feel guilty but they certainly do not feel any degree of guilt.

SevenOfNineTrue Thu 21-Jan-16 08:28:38

Secure another role and walk away. By the sounds of it you will never be valued there, however hard you work.

VitaSackvileVest Thu 21-Jan-16 08:32:24

I agree that the bonus is for past work*.

Apply for the new job - if you get it, just tell them that you are moving on for new opportunity, widen experience etc. etc. Good luck!

Just remind yourself all the times they were shitty to you, and mentally say "fuck you".

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