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to wash my toddler's hair every night even though she cries?

(52 Posts)
redcarrot1 Wed 20-Jan-16 03:57:54

Not a world ending matter...but basically I like to rinse through her hair every night as she plays with it while she eats etc and gets it sticky. About 2 times a week I actually wash it with soap.

I rinse it by lying her back in the bath but she screams and pulls herself up immediately. I've then resorted to using a jug while she stands but it gets her face wet. She gets really upset and screams, cries. Just a shame to go through this every night when bath time should be fun...

Am I being a meanie carrying on despite the tears?

coconutpie Wed 20-Jan-16 04:03:53

YABU. Can you not just wipe the stickiness out with a water wipe or something instead? Bath time should be fun, not torture for your toddler.

Junosmum Wed 20-Jan-16 04:07:22

YABU, it doesn't need doing every day.

29PaddingtonSt Wed 20-Jan-16 04:12:42

Just wipe through with a wet flannel,

Bambooshoots14 Wed 20-Jan-16 04:23:31

I think YANBU but could you get her used to it gradually or get her to hold a flannel over her face when you pour the jug?

redcarrot1 Wed 20-Jan-16 04:29:37

Thing is I've been doing it everyday since she was born (more or less) but it's only until recently that she's sussed how to pull herself up and now she gets massively upset about doing it (inc the standing jug method).

I could try a flannel, I might try that, tnx.

TheHouseOnTheLane Wed 20-Jan-16 04:36:35

Flannel thing works well...I tie my DC hair up while they eat and in the past have resorted to a hat. That's always a good idea.

Snozberry Wed 20-Jan-16 04:47:42

You can get a flexible jug for baby hair washing which you press against their forhead and then tip over their hair so they get less water on their face. I tend to just put water in my hand and wipe it over her hair, so there isn't enough to drip into her face. It depends how much hair your DC has. You don't need to wash it so thoroughly every day.

BumpTheElephant Wed 20-Jan-16 05:33:38

Yabu, it doesn't need washing that often.
One of my sons has a huge meltdown every time I wash his hair, he's five and it's getting worse, I used to wash it once a week, I now do it once a month. His hair doesn't look dirty or smell but it is short. He gets extremely distressed by having his hair washed and I've tried everything. He says it the feeling of having wet hair that upsets him.

DesertOrDessert Wed 20-Jan-16 05:42:51

Going at it from the other side, can you discourage touching hair with sticky fingers, and use clips / hairband / bobbles to keep her hair out of the way when eating. Might mean you can get away with rinsing every other day. Or !maybe only twice a week with a flannel wipe.

Also, one friend has goggles in the bathroom for hair washing night. Worth a go? The mask type (but not nose covering) are more comfortable than adult style goggles with a seal round each eye.

Jengnr Wed 20-Jan-16 05:50:55

Is she alright with bathtime generally? My three year old loves bathtime but hates having his hair washed. I just wash it at the end (so when I'm bored of him splashing around). If it needs washing it needs washing.

I don't bath him every day though.

purplefizz26 Wed 20-Jan-16 06:10:22

Yanbu at all.

Hair washing is hardly torture, as parents we have to do things kids don't like sometimes.

Dirty sticky hair needs washing.

GreatFuckability Wed 20-Jan-16 06:10:56

A spray bottle like you use to water plants was my saviour! Could damp it to get the worst out without the hair wash.

guiltynetter Wed 20-Jan-16 06:13:23

I agree with purple fizz. If it is sticky and has food in it a damp flannel won't do anything. my 18 month old also hates having her hair washed but I just do it. it's always full of food and I just think it needs to be done despite the tears.

Believeitornot Wed 20-Jan-16 06:14:50


Have you ever had someone lie you back in the bath? I can't imagine it is nice. Same for having water in your eyes when you weren't the one doing it.

Have a bit of sympathy for her, give her warning and try a gentler method. So I would use a shower head and ask mine to look up and rinse closely to the head to avoid the eyes. Or use a flannel.

Now mine are 4&5, it is easier.

Strangertides1 Wed 20-Jan-16 06:21:38

Try using some leave in conditioner for children. Spray on and comb through, it might help with combing the mess out.

BeardedBear Wed 20-Jan-16 06:31:05

My DD, until recently, had her hair washed every night. If it's got food in it then it needs washing. If was much more successful when she twigged that if she looks at the ceiling then all the water goes backwards off her head (I use the shower to rinse her hair). She started saying that she doesn't want it washed every night and we told her that then she has to be more careful when she eats. It worked and now we only need to wash it every three days.

Can you get her to choose between lying down or sitting up and tipping her head back?

Jw35 Wed 20-Jan-16 06:41:29

Yabu there's lots of other nicer ways as suggested above.

CousinChloe Wed 20-Jan-16 06:57:21

My two year old is like this bit is very happy to come into the shower with me an potter round playing with toys etc at the bottom while she gets a good all over splashing. Keeps her hair pretty clean and saves time for me having to shower or bath later.

Baronessvontwurzel Wed 20-Jan-16 08:03:41

Use a wet flannel with a little baby shAmpoo as posters said. Gradually introduce proper hair washing as your dc starts to be able to understand more about it. When my ds was 3 I started to wash his hair properly by him leaning back on me with both of us in the bath after similar problems. He is now 5 and hair washing is a non issue

Bounced Wed 20-Jan-16 08:03:44

Use a sponge, you can squeeze a sponge full of water for back hair and if she won't tip her chin up then you can use it damp on the front bits. But making a game of getting the chin higher and higher always worked for me, plus you have the sponge right there ready to swipe any drops before they reach her eyes.

DisappointedOne Wed 20-Jan-16 08:15:17

Do you tell her what you're doing and why? It's a little thing but doing stuff to kids without warning can be quite scary to them. (Google Janet Lansbury - her respecting kids tips make life much easier!).

So "in 2 minutes we're going to need to set your hair sweetheart. I know you don't like it, but we need to get that yoghurt out of your hair. [if old enough to reply: Do you want to lie down or use the jug? If not: I think we'll use the jug tonight. I'll try not to get water in your face. I know you don't like that.]

Really useful for gaining focus and cooperation.

DisappointedOne Wed 20-Jan-16 08:16:30

*wet, not set

Petallic Wed 20-Jan-16 08:21:45

I had this with both DC. I taught them to look up at the ceiling in the bath as part of a game and then once we had that sussed I introduced the water on a flannel and just pouring it at the back of their head/down their backs. It only took about a week to stop the hysterics during hair washing. They also get their own dry flannel to hold in case they need to wipe water away from their face. I find that if DP washes their hair and gets them upset it sets us back for a few days so now I do all hair washing with no more tears.

5minutestobed Wed 20-Jan-16 08:28:43

YABU my ds hates getting his hair washed and reacts in a similar way, I wash it once a week at most. Can you just wet it with a sponge/flannel/your hand in between proper washes? You don't want to end up causing a huge hair washing fear by upsetting her so much.

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