To live in hope the growth scan is well out and my baby wont be affected by the death of my mother? ?

(60 Posts)
Mabel80 Mon 18-Jan-16 16:40:54

Hi all need to cut a long story short but basically I have had a dreadful two years with all sorts of problems including serious health issues, lots of loss and more recently the unexpected and sudden death of my mother who I adored. I am having regular growth scans due to having had a cancer diagnosis in 2014. Anyway last week I went and the baby had only put on two ounces. He was 4lb 11z at the 33 week scan, then at the 35 weeks scan he was said to be 4lb and 13 oz. I go back again on Thursday, they said if he hasn't put weight on then I have to have an induction. Could the scan be out? Has anyone had such a blip and the following week been okay?

Also I keep reading about the impact of maternal stress and anxiety and the risk s of ADHD, behavioural issues, heart disease in later life to name but a few are terrifying me. Anyone else had a really bad well horrific pregnancy and baby has been okay? I keep thinking if this growth thing has happened its just the start of a whole host of problems to come.

thanks for taking the time to read and respond.

RNBrie Mon 18-Jan-16 16:45:18

I'm so sorry to hear about your terrible two years and now you have all this stress on top.

My understanding of growth scans was that they could be half a pound out either way. At least that's what I was told when I had to have them regularly due to polyhydramnios with my first dd.

I can't really comment about stress and how it affects growth and development. I had a hideously stressful job when pregnant with dd1 and she's completely fine but I've no idea if that stress has the same impact as the stress you are feeling.

Do you have anyone (midwife, gp, consultant) that you can talk to about how you're feeling?

flowerscake

Mabel80 Mon 18-Jan-16 16:52:58

Yes I have support but ultimately no intervention can bring my mother back or undo me seeing her die etc so its helpful only in so far as it can be I guess. I have heard the scans can be out 10 percent either way but I do wonder if lots of babies maybe have 'drops' but they are not picked up as majority don't get all these scans. I just wonder what complications may arise too if he is born at 36 weeks and under 5lb.

Diggum Mon 18-Jan-16 16:54:01

It could absolutely be a blip. Growth scans can be hit and miss.

I had a patient a few weeks ago told similar and she was up the walls with worry. They mentioned induction too. Next week- all normal again, panic over.

I'm so sorry for your loss but I think it's unlikely that stress/grief would have such a direct impact on the baby's growth. There's such guilt heaped on mothers at times, but really, if you are loving and responsive to the baby once they arrive that is all they'll need. Think of your own lovely relationship with your mum- that's already your internal template as to how to be a mother. Sounds like a wonderful start to meflowers

Finola1step Mon 18-Jan-16 16:56:12

My dad was poorly off and on throughout my pregnancy with DD. 5 days before my due date he got rushed in to hospital (again) and this time he was in ICU. I knew from the layout of the unit that his bed meant he was the most critical. I was devastated. I was due to give birth to dd in the same hospital on the floor above Dad. We were told he wouldn't pull through, was all palliative care etc.

DD was late. I was terrified that if I brought a new life into the world, then dad would slip away. But he didn't. He rallied and pulled through. He then had two more years in which he got to know dd.

It truly was an awful time. But dd was born absolutely perfect. I too was worried about my stress and anxiety levels. But all is good. No problems. She is now a healthy, funny, inquisitive 5 year old.

And with ds, I was told he was just under 7lbs. He was 8lb 12. Just slightly out. grin

I hope the next scan brings good news. flowers

Finola1step Mon 18-Jan-16 16:57:22

I second talking to your midwife about the loss of your mum.

LeanneBattersby Mon 18-Jan-16 16:58:43

Three horrific pregnancies, growth scans in all with very varying results (measuring 'huge' at 36 was, then measuring 'tiny' by 37 hmm). Three extremely healthy children with barely a cold between them, all born at very average weights.

Hope all is fine for you flowers

Glitterball86 Mon 18-Jan-16 16:59:08

Growth scans can be way out, I had my final growth scan on the Tuesday before DS was born and they said he was 6.5lb , he was born on the Friday weighing 4lb 13! Have friends who have experienced similar with it measuring smaller and being much bigger! Will keep everything crossed for you xxx

bornwithaplasticspoon Mon 18-Jan-16 17:01:59

I had growth scans with my dd. She was measuring just under 5lb at 38.5 weeks and they were worried she'd go lower so booked me in for induction the next day. I went into labour naturally that evening and she was born a rather healthy 6lb 3oz. No one could explain how the scan was so out

shouldwestayorshouldwego Mon 18-Jan-16 17:02:22

I was told on the Monday afternoon that ds was 8lb. He was born Tuesday evening at 8lb 12oz. He obviously had a very hungry 24hrs! Hope your scan is ok, try not to worry.

flowers For your mother.

Bonkerz Mon 18-Jan-16 17:04:55

I'm so sorry you have had such a tough time recently. I don't know about growth scans but I do have experience of grief whilst pregnant.
My own mum died when I was 22 weeks pregnant with my daughter. I refused to grieve. I was the strong one. I held everyone together. I had had two miscarriages before I got pregnant with DD and just could not even think about being sad etc. This did take its toll. My last few weeks of pregnancy were horrid. Eventually it was agreed I could have CS @ 38 weeks. The midwife had already got me on waiting list for counselling and thank goodness she did because by time DD was 6 weeks old I was a mess.

DD is now 10 and a clever/happy confident child and no ill effects what so ever. She was born healthy 7:10oz.

memyselfandaye Mon 18-Jan-16 17:07:36

I had a very stressful pregnancy and then I was also told my baby was going to be small so had to have another scan a month later.

I booked a 4d scan and was told all was ok and she said she thought he would end up at 7.5lb, went back for the other nhs scan and was told he was going to be big! Naturally I spent the remaining two months I was going to give birth to Jabba the Hut.

He actually weighted 7.10lbs.

My chap doesn't seem to be affected by the way I was feeling, and I was diagnosed with antenatal depression and given happy pills, I didn't actually take them because they hadn't been tested on pregnant women, just pregnant mice, and apparently there was a small risk of withdrawl so I managed without them.

I now have a very lively 4yr old.

novemberchild Mon 18-Jan-16 17:08:49

DS1 was apparently the size of a 36 week old baby at around 30-32 weeks. My dates were certain, and he was born fine at 41 + 3. 10lb.

It is more worrying if this happenes in early pregnancy, I'd think. After 30 weeks or so, there can be an awful lot of variation, for example, there was another woman who had a baby at term, like me, who weighed 5lb.

BrainWillingBodyNotSoMuch Mon 18-Jan-16 17:10:41

My dear mum died 6 weeks before my DS was born and my nan died three weeks before he was born. I had gestational diabetes so was having regular scans. At 34wks he was born unexpectedly at 5lb 10oz. They were telling me at the scans that he was 'average' although if I'd have gone full term her would have been a baby elephant!!
He was in NICU for two weeks with a little girl who was born early weighing only 2lb. She did better than he did! She was just dinky but breathed without any problem and fed ok just in small amounts.

I hope that the scan is wrong so you don't get too worried and I'm sorry about your Mum.

Birdsgottafly Mon 18-Jan-16 17:11:00

My Dad died when I was six months pregnant, it was a stressful time. I had no growth for a month and then less than it should have been. My DD (now 30), was under 6lb, but perfectly healthy.

My DD had a car crash and other things happen when she was pregnant. She had less growth than expected, my GDD (now 14 months) was under 7lb, she is small, but bright and healthy.

It's true that stress during pregnancy can be linked to some conditions, as can low Keytones. We use this info to plan for Women's Prisons and Refuggees/Homeless etc.

It isn't a done deal that any condition will happen because of extreme stress.

It's natural to worry during a difficult pregnancy, but take things as they come.

Birdsgottafly Mon 18-Jan-16 17:12:14

Just to add a friends baby born ten weeks early at 3lb, has just been kicked out of SCBU, because she's doing to well to be in there.

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated Mon 18-Jan-16 17:13:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Witchend Mon 18-Jan-16 17:13:25

My midwife said growth scans were only accurate within 2lb... She didn't really think they were very helpful.
Dd2 was small for dates... Born 95% centile length and nearly 7lb

tiggytape Mon 18-Jan-16 17:14:45

I'm unsure how accurate growth scans claim to be but I certainly know of many that were way out (mine included). I think they are more to see a pattern over time and cannot imagine they are really accurate down to 2ounces (well not unless a lot has changed in 10 years or so)

I am really sorry to hear of the terrible two years you've had and you are right to look after yourself and to get any support you can. But don't worry unduly about maternal stress and the baby. Without wishing to diminish your terrible loss and illness in any way, unfortunately pregnancy can be an awful time for many women for all sorts of reasons (bereavement of course but also poor maternal health, relationship breakdowns, housing problems, losing employment, issues with the baby's health or development) and babies are born just fine. It is the mother that bears the stress of all this so really the most important thing to worry about right now is you and everrything else will follow from that.

MatildaTheCat Mon 18-Jan-16 17:16:16

Growth scans are about much more than the estimated weight of your baby. The sonographer plots various measurements on a chart with 'expected growth lines' which represent 3rd, 50th and 95th centiles. Then when the next scan is done and the new measurements spare plotted it is possible to build a picture of how the baby is growing overall.

Some babies are destined to be small and will follow the bottom curve but because they are growing as expected that isn't a worry. There is also the Doppler which checks the blood flow to the placenta and is a very useful guide to placental function.

Finally, if a baby is delivered early in a 'better out than in' situation it is possible to give the mother steroids to help mature the fatal lungs and this is very effective. Interestingly, size does not predict maturity with babies. A small 34 weekend can do very well indeed and a much larger baby of the same gestation can struggle. The outcomes for both are generally extremely good at this stage.

OP, your worries are 100% understandable but it is vital you have a chat with a sympathetic midwife or doctor to discuss your fears. You are right, nobody can undo the past but there may well be more support available than you are currently getting. Wishing you and your baby well and hoping it is the beginning of a much happier chapter for you. flowers

CwtchMeQuick Mon 18-Jan-16 17:16:43

I'm sorry youre having a tough time flowers
I had regular growth scans with DS due to me having low bmi. They were predicting him all the way along to be born weighing at least 8lb4. I had one at 37 weeks (I think) saying he'd be almost 9lbs. And another scan at 39+3 which is the day he was born saying he'd be somewhere between 6 and a half and 7 and a half pounds. He was born that night weighing 6lb12.
So he'd gone in 2 weeks from being an almost 9lb baby to a not even 7lb baby hmm so yes in my experience they can be massively out

MatildaTheCat Mon 18-Jan-16 17:18:57

Fetal, not fatal. Weeker, not weekend. Autocorrect damn you. blush

Pangurban1 Mon 18-Jan-16 17:21:14

You are expecting the worst right now. Things might pan out. It might be like weightwatchers. One week shows nothing and then you get the double the week after. Even if you have to be induced, they must think it is doable and preferable to any other scenario. Wishing you the best luck on this.

About grief and the stress. My mother passed away when I was in my first trimester. Unexpectedly. I was a basket case with grief. I cannot impress upon you how upset I was. Right through the remaining two thirds of the pregnancy. He was born a day out at 8lbs.

As for behavioural problems. I don't think a cheeky, stubborn son is unusual. If maternal stress was a causation of problems, it would have been a definite in my case.

Alohamora Mon 18-Jan-16 17:22:07

I was told DS4 was tiny and there was very little fluid. This was at 37 weeks. At 38 weeks they scanned again and told me while the fluid was up a bit I would be lucky if he weighed 5lbs. He was born by CS a week later and weighed 8lbs!

marymarynotcontrary Mon 18-Jan-16 17:28:32

I had the most upsetting and stressful time during my pregnancy, and DS hasn't shown even a hint of it - physically, emotionally, developmentally - nothing. It's all on the poor mothers it seems! I was worried, like you, and I'm delighted to see he's right on track. He is nearly 4 - try not to worry too much smile

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