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Aibu to possibly request meeting with nursery

(85 Posts)
NeedACleverNN Mon 18-Jan-16 14:58:45

Dd (2 will be 3 in March) started a new nursery 3 weeks ago (today is her 3rd week) and she is coming home with suspicious bruising.

I'm not jumping to conclusions and suspecting anything too wild (unlike my dh who immediately asked what her Minnie looked like) but they are right at the top of her inner thighs near her nappy and are small finger shaped. Not really a place she could bruise by falling over

It could be the staff are a bit rough changing her nappy but even so this isn't on.

I'm going to fully check to her tonight before bed and again before sending her to nursery tomorrow and if she comes home with any new bruising, I was thinking of requesting a sit down meeting with the staff and asking directly how is she with nappy changes(she normally just lays there but I respect she might be a bit more wriggly at nursery) and how do they do it.

I really want to handle this sensitively and not accuse anything but if there is something going on I want to protect my daughter.

What would you do?

grumpysquash Mon 18-Jan-16 15:11:12

I think you're absolutely right to follow up.
There may be a perfectly innocent explanation (my DS1 had similar bruises - it turned out to be from the climbing frame. He was wearing a splash suit for outside play and it was making his trousers wrinkle up and pinch him when he climbed).

cate16 Mon 18-Jan-16 15:17:02

You need to follow up.
Could simply be bikes/trikes - the saddle bit pinching tops of legs?

LalaLyra Mon 18-Jan-16 16:37:32

You should follow it up, even if you think it's innocuous from trikes etc because the nursery should be flagging it up to you. So a) you need them to know you believe it was caused at nursery and b) perhaps flag to them that they haven't noticed it when they should have.

NeedACleverNN Mon 18-Jan-16 16:54:45

Would you request a meeting then?

It's not the first time I've been a bit hmm.

I went to pick her up on her first day and she had a massive bruise on her cheek. The nursery insisted I dropped her off with it and I'm certain she didn't have it when I left her as I am worrier and notice these things on my children

MintSource Mon 18-Jan-16 16:57:52

"I went to pick her up on her first day and she had a massive bruise on her cheek. The nursery insisted I dropped her off with it"

^ This ^ coupled with the other brusing is worrying. I would talk to the room leader in the office (or at least away from noise and distraction) to start with.

NeedACleverNN Mon 18-Jan-16 17:03:17

Ok I'll sit down with dh tonight and write down some points so I don't lose my trail of thought and try to have a discreet word. If I don't get anywhere and there is no reasonable answers for why this is going on how do I go about escalating it

cate16 Mon 18-Jan-16 17:09:59

In light of your further info you definitely need to follow up!

If they thought your child turned up with a bruise you should have signed an existing injury form when you dropped her off.

NeedACleverNN Mon 18-Jan-16 17:17:57

How would I escalate it if it didn't get explained

OnlyLovers Mon 18-Jan-16 17:25:28

If you don't already know the 'chain of command' at your nursery, maybe ask about it when you go in to talk to them?

And you're right to follow it up, especially with the new info about the bruised cheek!

I think they're probably innocent bruises like the climbing frame ones someone else mentions, but it needs checking out – and even if it's innocent, they are not being very vigilant or responsible in either letting her get bruised or not noticing and reporting them to you.

NeedACleverNN Mon 18-Jan-16 17:32:37

Ok thank you

Again I don't think anything suspicious. I just assumed she had banged it and not told the staff as she doesn't always cry when she gets hurt and when they said she came in with it, I accepted it just, but I wasn't entirely happy.

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 18-Jan-16 17:32:43

And take photos.

cate16 Mon 18-Jan-16 17:41:22

First talk with manager, or lead safeguarding officer (they should have a name person)
It could be (and most probably is) an innocent accident, however they - as pp said - are not being very vigilant anyway. Did 'they' not see the bruise's in the nappy area - they should be mentioning it to you!

Look in their safeguarding policy (they should have given you a copy, or the information as to where you can find it online) If you are still not happy with the answers you could phone Ofsted (the setting should have a Poster with the number displayed along with how to complain).

NeedACleverNN Mon 18-Jan-16 17:42:07

Yes I was thinking I ought to take a photo.


abbsismyhero Mon 18-Jan-16 17:46:01

my son used to come home with bruises from his dad's house turns out nanny was being brutal with the nappy change as he "kept moving" i had to keep reporting it to nursery in case they thought i was responsible for all these bruises (they were actual hand marks at one point)

i would definitely raise it and the cheek

NeedACleverNN Mon 18-Jan-16 17:47:44

Ok I think my dh is freaking out a little bit here so a bit of reassurance would help but he's just getting her ready for bed and she's taking her top off and saying "look daddy sexy" hmm

She watches Peppa Pig, Ben and Holly, Umizoomi, Bubble Guppies, Frozen, Tangled and The wiggles.

We don't call her sexy either...why would we?

I said maybe she's heard something on telly or another child has said it at nursery and he's going to ring his sister soon as she babysits occasionally but....

Birdsgottafly Mon 18-Jan-16 17:54:28

Just to add, my DDs nursery and the Children's Center that I was connected to, used to note any bruising that the children came in with, as a Safeguard for the Nursery.

That procedure isn't that unusual.

OnlyLovers Mon 18-Jan-16 17:55:54

I wouldn't worry, OP. Presumably she could be picking it up from anywhere.

Just deal with the immediate nursery issue.

SocksRock Mon 18-Jan-16 17:56:45

The preschool mine go to have a form you fill in if you drop them off with an injury, so that they know what has happened their and what hasn't.

Birdsgottafly Mon 18-Jan-16 17:58:00

Keep an open mind, it could have come from another child, but that should flag up an investigation of sort.

Inappropriate behaviour/speech can be a sign of abuse.

I have, however known children to pick up stuff they shouldn't from older siblings/Cousins.

There's a few women on my FB that uses 'Sexy' about their children.

NeedACleverNN Mon 18-Jan-16 17:59:28

That's what I said but he's freaking out because it's all adding up.

Scoopmuckdizzy Mon 18-Jan-16 18:07:05

Anytime my DC were injured at nursery, however minor, they filled out a form for us to sign with details of injury, location, what happened etc.

I'd definitely be having a word if I were you.

NorthernRosie Mon 18-Jan-16 18:07:54

I don't understand - she's been there 3 weeks and this has all suddenly happened on the same day?

And you think the conclusion is that the nursery is running some kind of paedophile ring? Surely at a nursery there's more than one person in a room - are they all in on it in your husbands opinion!?

AlwaysHopeful1 Mon 18-Jan-16 18:08:17

Tbh I wouldn't be sending her in until I'm reassured or they can explain what the bruises are. Their attitude will tell you what you need to know. Then only send her in if you are satisfied.

OnlyLovers Mon 18-Jan-16 18:11:04

Rosie, you could be a bit more kind in your questioning and style. The OP and her DH are worried for their daughter. Give them a bit of a break, eh?

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