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Wibu to 'forget' dh's food ?

(97 Posts)
IamSantaClaus Mon 18-Jan-16 06:54:18

Dh and I have a bit of a battle with the heating in our house . I have inflammatory arthritis and tend to be more sore when it's cold. I also take beta blockers which make my hands and feet cold.

I had started setting the heat to come on at 5am so everybody isn't getting up in the freezing cold . I asked dh to set it last night and he just didn't ( deliberately ) dcs and I are now freezing.

It's a bit of a silly thing to be annoyed about but it has really annoyed me . The house takes forever to heat up.

Wibu to 'forget' the food dh likes when I do the food shopping today? Too petty?

gamerchick Mon 18-Jan-16 06:56:58

Why do you think it was deliberate?

Conundrumparpapumpum Mon 18-Jan-16 06:58:45

What is his reason for not wanting it to come on at 5? Quite a normal time for it to start imo

IamSantaClaus Mon 18-Jan-16 06:58:50

It was definitely deliberate , he does it quite a lot .

Woodenmouse Mon 18-Jan-16 06:59:55

Was it definitely deliberate? My DH can be very forgetful at times!!

IamSantaClaus Mon 18-Jan-16 06:59:59

We use too much heat apparently . He does not feel the cold half as much as I do so its all well and good for him but I am just sore and frozen .

IamSantaClaus Mon 18-Jan-16 07:01:24

He went to turn it off last night and I asked him if he could turn it onto timed . There's no way he just forgot sad

BarbaraofSeville Mon 18-Jan-16 07:03:18

Why didn't you put the timer on? confused

Woodenmouse Mon 18-Jan-16 07:04:21

If that's the case I would talk to him about it. Surely if you have a medical condition he should understand or at least try and see it from yoyr point of view

IamSantaClaus Mon 18-Jan-16 07:04:36

I kind of just assumed he did it as he said 'ok' at the time .

Krampus Mon 18-Jan-16 07:04:56

Is it possible to set it to come on at 5am automatically? Then review the time at the weekend. I can see how it would be the kind of request that it's easy to forget, make sure ou do it ourself tonight.

londonrach Mon 18-Jan-16 07:05:18

Just put the timer., problem solved then. The food thing is petty and i dont see how thats linked to the heating.

Woodenmouse Mon 18-Jan-16 07:05:23

Also Barbara makes a good point

Conundrumparpapumpum Mon 18-Jan-16 07:05:32

If you need it for medical reasons then hibu but not getting his food is unlikely to help matters sadly. More likely to feed into more such incidents. Maybe take him to a doctor appt with you and discuss your need for warmth - hopefully doc would back you up?

IamSantaClaus Mon 18-Jan-16 07:05:47

You would think that but he seems more concerned about money . We're. Not rich but an extra couple of hours of heating a day , in Ireland , in winter is not going to break the bank

FrozenProgramme Mon 18-Jan-16 07:07:36

I think you'd not be unreasonable to forget his food but think that would just make it into a petty tit for tat, I'd be having fuming words about how sore it makes you and asking if your health is worth the extra money on heating. If it's not I'd be stopping all money related to his health (no painkillers, no dentist etc) and asking him to pack his bags.

Soooosie Mon 18-Jan-16 07:08:14

I would set the heating myself and not buy him treats as he's obviously wanting to cut back.

YakTriangle Mon 18-Jan-16 07:08:31

I'd find that deeply hurtful. He'd rather you were in physical discomfort than pay slightly more to heat the house? sad Cruel.

IamSantaClaus Mon 18-Jan-16 07:08:46

Yes the food thing is petty but he's really annoyed me . He's well aware that I get more sore in the cold and I've a couple of doctors in my family who can back me up . He sometimes stays up later than I do and often just turns it off then

Conundrumparpapumpum Mon 18-Jan-16 07:09:35

If he was going to turn it off and you asked him instead to switch it to timer, which is presumably already set up to come on at 5am then that is a perfectly reasonable request and perfectly reasonable to assume he'd done it. If he then deliberately turned it off that is mean.

HortonWho Mon 18-Jan-16 07:09:48

Not that this helps now, but our boiler broke last year and we had to get a new one. The new (starboard) one came with an app for your phone, so you can program the settings from anywhere.

Lolimax Mon 18-Jan-16 07:10:35

I'm sure one of the girls at work has an app on her phone where she can set the time on her heating remotely. Could that work for you?

HortonWho Mon 18-Jan-16 07:10:36

standard. I'm not a sailor, so no idea why my phone auto corrected that.

Conundrumparpapumpum Mon 18-Jan-16 07:11:24

How is your relationship otherwise? It doesn't sound like he cares much about your health and levels of pain.

IamSantaClaus Mon 18-Jan-16 07:12:17

That would be excellent but it's quite an old oil boiler .

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