AIBU to think therapy won't help?!(14 Posts)
Hey all after some opinions. AIBU that therapy is not going to help me?
I'm 29 and through my teens suffered from severe depression, anxiety, self harm and eating disorder and was in and out of hospital for a few years. I saw a physiatrist for 10 years and on lots of different meds and to be honest I'm not sure it did all that much.
Im at the stage where I break down into tears every other day and my anxiety is maybe getting worse. I'm a healthy weight but my disordered eating thoughts and body image never changed and I just hate it.
AIBU to think I shouldn't bother. It's going to be a lot of expense and I just don't think after 10 years talking and and another 10ish just getting on with it I'm not sure my thoughts can change.
I see how it hurts my partner the way I talk about myself and treat myself and I really don't want it to effect our relationship but I just don't know how to change things.
I just think there is no big trauma that caused my troubles.. Maybe it is just who I am?
If you think I am being ridiculous what are your suggestions? Am in London, not my home country so not even sure if I decided to see someone if I should go through dr or is private better?
Thanks if you have read it all x
I don't think you're being ridiculous.
You need to change something - whether it's therapy, medication, self help books to help change the way you think about yourself. You can't go on crying every other day and feeling this anxious.
Something needs to change, you need to make that change. Nobody else can do it for you .
I think you know it will help on some level. Getting the right kind of help, and being open to it (which it sounds like maybe you weren't before) is key. You have to want to get better, not for anyone else, but for you.
Seeing the GP for a referral to CMHT is a good place to start.
AIBU to think I shouldn't bother.
If you don't think it will work, it's not going to work - the fix is internal, so if you put up a barrier to the solution, you'll never reach the solution. I say that as someone 4 years into therapy and doing exactly that.
You're not rediculous. It sounds like you didn't have the right therapy or the right meds.
Typically the NHS throws us on the mercy of CBT. Which is great when you need to talk.
But at lot can be said for DBT, Mindfulness etc.
Mindfulness would probably help you, and you don't need to see anyone for that.
Chaotic thoughts and anxiety, have they tried you on a mood stabiliser?
My own personal experience has been:
Started seeing a psychiatrist at 14. CBT from 14-16. Put on fluoxetine
CBT 18-20. Taking fluoxetine.
21-24 - Taking venlafaxine.
24 saw a psychiatrist again, got a diagnosis, got the right meds and the right therapy (mindfulness). Take queitapine and mirtazapine. I have BPD and Body Dysmorphia.
So 10 years it took to eventually get somewhere. The last two years of my life have been like no other. I never realised life could be like this. It's worth persevering.
I got fed up with talking therapies so tried psychodrama - it's far less verbal, we did collages and acted scenarios out with props and with each other. It really helped me with issues that years of talking hadn't touched.
..so it's worth persevering until you find something that clicks, I mean.
Thanks for the responses guys.
I do need to see the GP so might discuss when I next visit.
I'm not on any medications at the moment and haven't been for years so wonder if I will need to go back on something. I suppose that might not be the first option.
I do think I out up barriers last time I probably will at the start this time but will try my best not to.
I do think I need to see someone in person though. I just don't think self help books or online type things are for me just cause I can read it but it doesn't change my thoughts I just think yah that's true doe other people but I think like that about myself cause it's true. So think I need someone to be talking to me and helping me with it.
It can help. Also, there's a thing called "small t" trauma or cumulative trauma, which like constant poor relational experiences.
I'd have an initial session with a humanistic psychotherapist and a psychodynamic psychotherapist and see which style you prefer. CBT is unlikely to help, certainly in the long term.
Make sure whoever you see is accredited by UKCP or BACP and make sure you get on with them.
It doesn't have to be like this. I have clients that are over 80 years old and have lived in some degree of emotional pain for many, many years, and I've still been able to help. You're not a lost cause.
Different types of therapies, different types of therapist. Both are as important as each other. You might find one that clicks with you.
Also, it is about you doing the work....so if you don't think it will, it hasn't got a chance.
I think it depends on what type of therapy you have and your relationship with your therapist (though that needs time to build)
Many people come to therapy thinking it won't work and will sabotage the efforts they are making they are not always aware of this or understand why that itself needs to be worked on for some it doesn't and for others it does
But don't think because you feel it won't work that it's a waste of time it might not be. change is hard to make even when we really want it
I'd try to see a psychodynamic psychotherapist. My history sounds similar to yours and it has made me feel almost like a different person. Even after the first two sessions I felt so much better about myself and that majorly impacted my life.
I can read it but it doesn't change my thoughts
That's because only you can change your thoughts, not a book, video or someone else, just you
Put very simplistically, all of the pathways above can help to trigger that realisation within you, but it's down to you to change your thoughts. Thoughts aren't facts, they are just thoughts, you don't have to take any action, just observe them and let them go
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