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To think a day of too much chocolate, too much pasta and too much Netflix hardly counts as child abuse?!

(63 Posts)
CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sat 16-Jan-16 16:41:56

Because to hear my mother talk, you'd think SS involvement was merely a scraped knee away. I have a stinking cold, a black and blue leg and arm from where I fell over in the sodding dark buggy shed at nursery yesterday evening because some stupid buggers had left their microscooters strewn over the floor DH is on lates so no use, and no I cannot be arsed to limp into town to go food shopping without a car in this freezing weather, so DS's normally healthy balanced diet has been exchanged, for one day, for leftover Christmas chocolate and cupboard food. And yes the TV is on. Shoot me.

AIBU to think instead of coming over uninvited, generally hoiking her bosom and pursing her lips at me, poor-little-thinging at DS and making me feel like the worst mother in history, she could have popped to the shop for some milk and a couple of ready meals? Or failing that, just been nice?!

She's gone now thank fuck but I'm just generally seething. Why are other people's parents lovely and helpful?! And mine, when the mood strikes, is like the unholy lovechild of Hyacinth Bucket and Captain Mainwaring.

<switches Timmy Time back on and defiantly opens another chocolate santa>


SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Sat 16-Jan-16 16:46:49

It sounds like absolutely the right choice for the day you are having today, Cesare!

Ignore her!

MotherKat Sat 16-Jan-16 16:47:17

-hug- yanbu, she's being mean.

Katedotness1963 Sat 16-Jan-16 16:50:35

It sounds like the perfect crap weather day...I hope you're still in your pajamas and opening a bottle of wine later?

Pipestheghost Sat 16-Jan-16 16:54:16

Yanbu, she should've offered to help you out, rather than being so condescending.

insancerre Sat 16-Jan-16 16:55:46


You can never have too much chocolate 😛

SpikeWithoutASoul Sat 16-Jan-16 16:55:53

I'm neither injured nor ill, but DD and I have spent the day under a blanket watching Mary Poppins and eating Pringles. Ignore your mum.

ouryve Sat 16-Jan-16 16:57:38


You're not superwoman. You're human and knackered.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Sat 16-Jan-16 17:01:14

Yanbu. And if she says she'd never have done when you were a kid, she's lying through her hoik.

Sirzy Sat 16-Jan-16 17:02:34

Sounds like a perfect day to me!

MamaLazarou Sat 16-Jan-16 17:05:23

It sounds like my idea of fun.

Hope you feel better soon x

bornwithaplasticspoon Sat 16-Jan-16 17:06:59

That's a normal Saturday for us!

scarednoob Sat 16-Jan-16 17:07:52

You have leftover chocolate that you haven't scarfed down already?!

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts Sat 16-Jan-16 17:09:10

That is dd's idea of a fantastic day and we often have days like that!!

My dd's ate turkey dinosaurs and chips on the sofa for lunch and are watching Netflix. I then dozed for an hour, im not unwell just knackered! smile

GruntledOne Sat 16-Jan-16 17:09:29

What on earth is wrong with pasta? OK, you don't want to live off it every day, but then you aren't doing that. I agree that the function of a mother in that situation is to say "Oh dear, poor you, what do you need and I'll pop out and get it for you."

OP, move on to the gin and forget about her.

SitsOnFence Sat 16-Jan-16 17:10:30

She sounds very strange. As you say, if she was that bothered she would have taken DS out for lunch or something.

Although chocolate and a relaxed DS sounds like a rather nice way to spend a cold winter Saturday to me. I hope you have a good book on the go too wink

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sat 16-Jan-16 17:12:56

She also installed herself on the sofa and demanded coffee, I limped round making said coffee, brought it too her and she took one sip and said 'ugh I can't drink that - I forgot you always make such horrible coffee.' How can you make 'horrible' instant coffee? Everyone makes it the same way!

It's like she just looks for things to make me feel crap. She doesn't do it when DH is around though. Just when she's got me on my own.

Anyway, thank you all for the validation! I know really I'm not BU to just veg for a day, but she always makes me feel useless unless the house is spotless, I'm cooking everything from scratch, DS is perfectly clean and engaged in educational play...

Plus she does this competitive tiredness thing - DS has not ever slept a full night since he was born 18 months ago, DH is a shift worker and I commute over an hour each way to a full time university course in the week. However when I weakly offered my tiredness as an excuse for not doing a lot today because the bloody injured leg and streaming nose weren't reason enough she pointed out that I can't be as tired as she is, because she has to be up by 8 every day to let the workmen who are doing up her house in. 'And even if I go back to bed afterwards it's not a proper sleep'. confused

And then while I was on the loo she flipped through the folder of uni notes that was out on the desk and helpfully pointed out that she doesn't know how I'll revise from them as my handwriting is so awful.

I have to say it's slightly making me giggle writing it all down. DS is giving me strange looks...

Bogeyface Sat 16-Jan-16 17:13:09

People like this piss me off.

I mean that best option to make sure that the kids ate a "decent" meal (nothing wrong with pasta imo) would be to offer to pop out and get something for them, or have them over for a meal. Thats what my mum would do, its what I would do, its what most people would do.

If she really thought it was so bad, she would have offered to do something to help, but she didnt so its clear that actually she is just using it as a stick to beat you with.

Is she always like this?

ScarlettDarling Sat 16-Jan-16 17:13:52

Do you know what? I think a freezing cold Saturday in January sometimes just cries out for chocolate and snuggles infront of the TV.

You've already said your ds normally eats really well so you need to take no notice at all of your mother.

My own dm is usually great. Actually, she's a bit too far the other way to your mum...on the days she takes my ds to school she comes with a bag full of chocolate which she gives them for BREAKFAST!! I hate it but I reason that it's once every two weeks and is unlikely to do any harm. I just keep my fingers crossed those aren't the days that their teachers decide to do a food diary at school!

Hope you're ordering pizza for supper!

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sat 16-Jan-16 17:14:34

And scarednoob no, DH has leftover chocolate, the fool.

Not now DS and I have found his stash though blush.

SmellOfPythonInTheMorning Sat 16-Jan-16 17:14:48

OMG we must be sisters!!!

Bogeyface Sat 16-Jan-16 17:15:18

X Post

Why on earth did you even allow her into the house?!

You are allowed to say "no" you know, and its sounds to me like its about time that you did!

She only treats you like this because you let her. "I am sick of the way you speak to me, if you cant say anything nice then I want you to leave" and mean it! Or better still "Now is not a good time, I will ring you later when I am feeling better, bye!" and shut the fucking door!

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Sat 16-Jan-16 17:15:56

If she was that bothered she could go out, do a spot of shopping and cook something wholesome.

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sat 16-Jan-16 17:16:05

And YES I'm ordering pizza for supper. Possibly with ice-cream as well. Fantastic idea Scarlett.

DoomGloomAndKaboom Sat 16-Jan-16 17:17:19

If I were your ds i would be loving you very much right now, for a day of netflix and chocolate.

Whose opinion matters more, ds or dm?

I would have the same day again tomorrow tbh. Only bolt the door and don't let dm in!

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