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To wish my depression would just fuck off

(17 Posts)
FlowersAndShit Fri 15-Jan-16 22:47:31

I've had depression for about 3 months now, along with anxiety. I'm trying to be strong and do everything I can, have started having a few days here and there without feeling depressed. I've started taking vitamins which I thought would help - I think they are as I've only felt depressed twice this week. I just wish it would fuck off and leave me alone. My blood test results also show I may be developing underactive thyroid - but I have to wait another 3 months to have it re-tested.

Mypubesarestraight Fri 15-Jan-16 22:50:10

I know what you are going through. It's horrendous and I wouldn't wish it on anyone thanks

MsVestibule Fri 15-Jan-16 22:57:43

Are you taking anti-depressants? Those low, low days are awful. What do you mean by 'I'm trying to be strong and do everything I can'?

FlowersAndShit Fri 15-Jan-16 23:24:21

Yes, I'm on Sertraline. I'm just trying to keep from losing my mind - it feels like it could shatter into a million pieces any minute if I don't try to stay sane.

manicinsomniac Fri 15-Jan-16 23:27:36

Of course not. I can't see how anyone would think YABU

Wolfiefan Fri 15-Jan-16 23:31:38

You are totally not unreasonable in the slightest. Depression, anxiety, low mood and sleep issues can all fuck right off.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Fri 15-Jan-16 23:33:59

I suffer from depression, too plus severe panic disorder so I know exactly what you mean.
I have good days and bad days. X

FlowersAndShit Fri 15-Jan-16 23:41:13

How do you cope?

StuckInARabbitHole Sat 16-Jan-16 00:55:44

Like Ilive I also have a severe panic disorder which has led to depression because I have been in this hell for 10 freaking years! Who wouldn't be depressed? My bastard mind has fucked up my whole life for as long as I can remember but I know why and it has good reason to behave like it has so I try to be kind to myself and do the best that I can to bring up my DC.

I am awake now because I am exhausted in the daytime struggling with being on high alert and preventing my mindmade catastrophes until late in the evening (when DH home and DC safe in bed) at which time I become wide awake so don't go to bed until much too late and repeat the cycle.

Is there an underlying reason for the depression? I went through years of extreme anxiety without understanding where it came from. I even lost a child but just carried on being strong and without feeling my emotions as I didn't think I had a right to have any. That bit me in the ass much later on!

Why do you have to be strong anyway? We are all allowed to falter from time to time you know flowers.

slugseatlettuce Sat 16-Jan-16 01:04:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohfourfoxache Sat 16-Jan-16 01:11:17

Yanbu at all.

How long have you been on the Sertraline for?

Might be worth seeing your GP to either up the dosage or change tablets. Fwiw I've stopped BFing to go back on citalopram - fluoxetine just doesn't offer adequate control for me. It's taken quite a lot of fiddling around to find something that suits me and you may well be the same.

Furiosa Sat 16-Jan-16 01:11:58

YANBU! However without knowing what caused your depression it's hard to tell if 3 months is a long time (I'm not suggesting you tell us by the way).

I've had depression since I was ten shock It started as a general fear/anxiety and grew from there. The older I got the worse it got.

Depression is also you minds way of telling you that your doing something wrong.

So, what's up?

mimishimmi Sat 16-Jan-16 02:23:22

It's the same here. I've been depressed for about 18 years but it comes and goes in waves ... it's been bad the past couple of months and am currently on Cymbalta (duloxetine?). Panic attacks are the worst.

FastWindow Sat 16-Jan-16 02:35:00

5 of 7 thats huge. You're there. Dont slip.

Monty27 Sat 16-Jan-16 02:39:24

I was on setraline and it didn't agree with me, but I can't remember why, I got changed to citalopram. It keeps me half sane. Talk to your gp?

FastWindow Sat 16-Jan-16 02:41:00

This is going to sound so trite to anyone not going through it but... Soon, the trees will have buds on for spring . The buds grow to little leaves, and that always gives me the will to lift myself. There. That's me... It helps me anyway.

FlowersAndShit Sat 16-Jan-16 10:39:01

Thanks everyone. I'm not sure what caused it, it just seemed to creep up on me. I'm having a good day today, so i'm going to treasure this day. I have long term MH issues since I was a child so I think my genes are just dodgy.

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