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to have burst into tears at work this morning

(33 Posts)
SleepWalkingToTheGrave Fri 15-Jan-16 16:52:11

Nc for this.

Early miscarriage a few years ago. Horrid and so was the d&c.
Little one would have been 7 this summer.
I keep thinking about him/her and what they might have been like, whether they would look like me or DH. What their favorite Disney film would have been.

Saw a little boy, prob about 3 or 4 years old, today at work (I work in retail and he came to my till) and he was seriously cute, I mean he was beaming from ear to ear about spending his Xmas money and said "thank you have a nice day" so politely and turned and waved at me goodbye, in his little dungarees.
He and his mum looked so happy together and for some reason I just felt so tearful suddenly.
And pissed off that my child died and we haven't been able to get pregnant since. I have PCOS. Nothing has happened in 7 years.

We've just had a massive vet's bill for our cat (who I love to pieces and am terrified that I will lose her) I know she's only a cat but she's so important to me and I've had her since she was 7 weeks old. She has to go to the vets again next week and the vet needs to monitor her (she has a lump and the word "tumour" has been thrown around although we're not sure yet if it is).
DH and I had a row last night about money and that was playing on my mind too.

So after a particularly rude customer (elderly lady who slapped my hand away from her shopping when I put the wrong item in the wrong bag and snapped at me) I held it together until the end of my shift and then promptly burst into tears on the way to the staff room to get my coat. Don't know if anyone saw me or not.
There was no one in the staff room but when I came out I had mascara all over my cheeks hmm

Sorry for the bloody long essay. Just had an awful day.

ghostyslovesheep Fri 15-Jan-16 16:55:31

oh sad I'm sorry things are so shit flowers

Poor you - sounds like you needed a good cry xxx

have some wine and cake xxx

Mrskeats Fri 15-Jan-16 16:55:44

Oh dear that's v hard and I don't think you are unreasonable at all. Lots of things combining like that is bound to make you emotional.
Are you getting investigated re not getting pregnant. I had to have treatment which did eventually work
flowers for you. Hope your cat is ok too I know how attached you can get to animals (dog owner)

Tiggeryoubastard Fri 15-Jan-16 16:55:53

Oh my love, what an awful time you're having. Course you're not BU. I've no words of wisdom but things do tend to turn around, they will for you again. I'm sending you all the best.

SirBoobAlot Fri 15-Jan-16 16:56:11

I would have probably cried too - and you're more restrained than me with that rude customer. MC are soul destroying. Much love to you, be kind to yourself, and I hope your cat is okay. flowers

CaptainCrunch Fri 15-Jan-16 16:56:38

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this OP and I assume as you didn't go on to have any children and have invested a lot of emotion in your cat. I was in your situation 20 years ago. Fortunately I went on to have DCs, it is heartbraking you haven't been so fortunate.

Wishing you well.

EElisavetaOfBelsornia Fri 15-Jan-16 16:57:34

Not U at all. So sorry you're feeling so down. I do hope the cat is ok and things get brighter soon flowers

jeavcike Fri 15-Jan-16 16:57:39

I have nothing to say apart from that I hope that your cat is well soon and it's understandable that you're upset given the things on your mind.
flowers

MothertotheLordsofmisrule Fri 15-Jan-16 17:05:28

Hope your cat gets better.

And hopefully the rude customer accidentally stepped in a cold icy puddle on the way home.

I have friend who has PCOS and she has two boys.
Have a better weekend flowers

Katedotness1963 Fri 15-Jan-16 17:12:53

I'm sorry you are having such a bad day. I have PCOS too, it was 14 years before I got pregnant the first time, then I got pregnant again around his first birthday. So now I have two lovely teenagers who are my pride and joy. Don't give up hope.

SleepWalkingToTheGrave Fri 15-Jan-16 17:13:22

Thanks everyone
I cried on the phone to dh earlier and he's currently on his way home, going to stop off for a takeaway for us and going to spend some quality time together this evening. Just feel like I need to cry and cry at the moment!!

MadamCroquette Fri 15-Jan-16 17:13:26

Oh you poor thing OP. Of course you're upset. Things like this are always there, but you have to get on with day-to-day life - then once in a while something will trigger your feelings (or a combination of things, like right now).

You were actually really professional to stay calm and not cry on your shift. I'm freelance these days and work at home but when I used to go to work I cried there several times. It's really hard I know.

You are due lots of good luck - hope it comes this year. flowers chocolate (((hug)))

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 15-Jan-16 17:20:04

Oh my lovely, what a difficult day. Many, many flowers and much chocolate for you. A cat (or dog, or any loved pet) is never just an animal, they are a much loved member of the family. Be gentle with yourself and cry if you need to but cry with DH by your side.

CheersMedea Fri 15-Jan-16 17:24:38

Sorry to hear that Sleepwalking - it sounds like one hell of a day and things always seem a million times worse on a winter evening I think. Something about the cold and the dark. The rude customer would have been unsetting at any time.

As far as the cute little boy was concerned, he may be cute now but they all end up like this smile: -

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLuEY6jN6gY

Hope things pick up for you and you feel a bit better in the morning.

WizardOfToss Fri 15-Jan-16 17:26:02

You poor love. Get warm and cosy, get hugs, be kind to yourself. Wishing you better days soon flowers

Bailey101 Fri 15-Jan-16 17:28:11

Completely not unreasonable - if I was having a time of it like you I'd probably have lost it at the rude woman and said something that would get me fired! Good on you for keeping it together until the end of your shift.

I hope your wee cat's ok, and anyone who tells you it's just a cat is a bloody idiot. I love mine so much, and even just thinking about one of them being sick makes me tear up.

evilgiraffe Fri 15-Jan-16 17:28:56

Infertility is beyond shit, and with the grief of a miscarriage as well I'm not surprised it all gets too much sometimes. flowers

TheGirlOnTheLanding Fri 15-Jan-16 17:34:49

Morethanks from me, of course YANBU to have a cry after a horrible customer, never mind the other stuff. I don't have PCOS but took a long time to have DC, sometimes it just hurt so much to see little ones. I hope things get better soon, but for now have a cry, if you still want to; have a cuddle with your lovely DH and be gentle with yourself, as you would if it was a friend telling you this story.

mouldycheesefan Fri 15-Jan-16 17:45:08

That's a really tough day and anyone would have cried in those circumstances, you did well to get through your shift.
Have you considered I find or other fertility treatment? I don't say that lightly as had it myself but seven years is a long time.
Best wishes to you

Throwingshade Fri 15-Jan-16 17:48:43

So sorry you have had such a tough deal. Enjoy your takeaway and a good movie and get some sleep. Sending good vibes flowers

MantaRayBay Fri 15-Jan-16 18:00:21

YANBU at all. I hope your cat gets better. flowers

LikeASoulWithoutAMind Fri 15-Jan-16 18:20:37

Oh OP you poor thing flowers

Hope your cat gets better soon and that tomorrow is a little brighter. Look after yourself.

Greyponcho Fri 15-Jan-16 18:26:38

Tbh, I think you've got many things playing on your mind & I'm not surprised you burst into tears (you are human ffs!), but I say you did well to hold yourself together to do it in private, so you mustn't beat yourself up about it at all x

nextusername Fri 15-Jan-16 18:29:30

YANBU flowers

Claireshh Fri 15-Jan-16 18:36:39

NBU at all.

I have PCOS and had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. We decided to try again and I didn't get pregnant. I went to my GP and was referred for an ultrasound. This showed that I had PCOS. I was prescribed Metformin. I bought a fertility monitor and used the Deanna method (Google for details - basically lots of sex around ovulation). I fell pregnant the second month of using this approach. I continued to take Metformin and was told by my consultant to take low dose aspirin throughout my pregnancy.

I used the exact same approach for my second child.

Wishing you get your dream come true x

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