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To say something?

(5 Posts)
ScaredAndSelfishh Thu 14-Jan-16 22:02:10

Very close relative has just become engaged. She is like a sister to me. For context I'm 23, she's 28.

When she became engaged, she called me asap and I congratulated her, of course - so happy for her! I also jokingly said oh can I be a bridesmaid! We have always said we'd be each other's bridesmaids. Our other sister/close relative would also be one.

It is starting to look a bit more realistic now (me being bridesmaid) although I'm not sure of her plan. And now I'm dreading it sad

I hate hate hate having photos taken of me and wearing fancy clothes sad I'm a girly girl and love dresses but am not great looking and have weird proportions - not fat but never really look great in clothes - kind of short and dumpy.

I really don't know whether to say anything! The last thing I do is want to make her day about me. But then I'm dreading wearing a dress I'll look hideous in, regulation bridesmaid makeup, have photos taken that will last a lifetime. I probably sound incredibly vain but it's not really that. I feel sick when i think about it sad

WhimsicalWinnifred Thu 14-Jan-16 22:21:53

You'll have fun on the day and she might be nice enough to choose a dress that flatters you and a hair and beauty expert that puts Charlize Theron to shame!

Relax, you might not even be asked wink

Needle Thu 14-Jan-16 22:23:19

It's understandable to be apprehensive, but what you really need to consider is what it would mean to your relative if you did/ didn't take part in her wedding. Would she be really upset if you decided you'd be too uncomfortable to be a bridesmaid? If she's as close as you say, and she really wants you by her side I think it would be pretty mean of you to refuse because you were worried about having to wear a dress you didn't like.

She's not going to stop being your friend because she's getting married - I'm sure she wouldn't insist on you wearing something you hated, and she'll probably be glad to have someone to share the wedding planning process with.

holeinmyheart Thu 14-Jan-16 22:47:23

The day isn't really about you, but you are so worried about it that it is really out of proportion.
What about trying a Mindful course? It will help you relax and not worry so much. Not many people will be looking at you after all, as it is the brides day.

I am sure you are not as bad looking as you think. Also if you are so worried about being short and dumpy, you probably have enough time to transform yourself into small and petite? N'est pas.

biboergosum Fri 15-Jan-16 01:33:06

You will be smashing in a flattering dress and well done make up and to ease your nerves they will give you champagne before the pictures, it'll be a lovely day.

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