Partner is great generally- could be a bit more proactive but then again so could I. He's always snored but it's gotten louder and louder as time goes on and I'm now at the point where I can hear him through my ear plugs. I poke/speak to him and he stops...for approximately 15 seconds, then starts up again.
He's aware of the issue obviously, but whereas I've researched and purchased various things to help myself sleep through it he isn't bothered in the slightest. He apologises, but that's as far as it goes. Last night I had 3 hours sleep and when he woke up HE was grumpy because "I kept waking him up and he was knackered".
Feel like I'm too tired to respond normally and there's a very good chance I'm overreacting, but at the moment I would do anything for a good nights sleep.
WIBU to issue an ultimatum that until he starts taking responsibility for the snoring himself, then we'll alternately sleep on the sofa? Until I get chance to purchase a new duvet (been meaning to get a nice one for ages to replace my current basic one) I was thinking that whoever is on the sofa that night gets the duvet whereas the person who keeps the bed can use a collection of our many throws and blankets (which are more than adequate).
Is this fair? Am I mental? Should I just start sleeping in the office loo at lunchtime?
Thanks in advance.
AIBU?
To issue an ultimatum re: snoring?
CowPatRoberts · 14/01/2016 13:47
DPs snoring improved a LOT when he had given up. He lost a little weight too (not much, just a few pounds) but that made a difference as well. But then he started smoking again 
I have a spare room that I sleep in frequently when DH's snoring is bad!! You have my sympathies 
I tried a lot of stuff with my ex to get him to take responsibility for his snoring.
I recorded him and he couldn't believe I hadn't somehow manipulated the recording. So the next night I told him to leave his iphone on record when he went to sleep and listen for himself. He couldn't refute that.
We tried humidifiers which helped a bit. Nasal strips did nothing. I had ear plugs - oh, so many ear plugs.
Final straw was when I had to be up at 5.30am for work and had got about 2hrs of sleep. The next night he downloaded an app on his phone called "stop snoring" or something like that. You put the phone under your pillow with the app running and every time you start snoring, the phone goes "Wake up! Yoo hoo! You're snoring!"
Needless to say he woke up in the morning going "Oh my god, I hardly slept, that stupid thing was going off all night!" I pointed out this was what I had to put up with EVERY night, and by the way the phone app was a lot quieter than the actual snoring...
He was diagnosed with sleep apnoea 6 weeks later, and the specialist said it was actually very dangerous if he had continued undiagnosed, as he drove a lot for work. Also he had high blood pressure and during his episodes his heart rate was reaching some insane peak like 170 BPM 
Once he was fitted with a CPAP mask I never needed ear plugs again. Amazing.
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I told DH that it was GP or splitting up. He went to the GP, was sent to the sleep clinic and left there with a diagnosis of sleep apnea and a CPAP machine. I LOVE his CPAP machine possibly more than DH.
What also helped was that we had a big holiday booked, but we'd have to share a room with the DC. DD2 pointed out that she heard him snoring most nights from her room, why did he think it was OK to be so selfish when we would all be sharing a room?
My god though, the exhaustion was worse than with babies . And it wasn't just the being woken up by snoring, it was the lying awake, not able to drop off again, because you just knew the snoring would start up.
DH got quite a shock at the clinic though, when the doctor pointed out how much more likely to drop dead of a heart attack he was because of the untreated apnea, and then seeing his printout of disturbances, when he realised that he'd been subjecting me to that every single night. He did admit after a month or so that maybe the CPAP machine was quite good, and he was feeling less tired than he had been. I was lovely and didn't say "told you so" 
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