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to have reported this school mum for threatening me? road rage type incident? will they even do anything?

(115 Posts)
ChatShitGetBanged Wed 13-Jan-16 10:57:06

this mum has a child in one of my dc classes. i dont know her, just by sight.

what happened i was driving down the road the dc school is on at pick up time. its crazy around there and people park willy nilly on both sides and its always a squeeze. there was cars behind me, she was driving towards me. i wasn't sure what she wanted me to do, I couldn't back up and I couldn't go past her safely due to the cars on each side of the road. she was making hand gestures, like throwing her hands up as if to say wtf are you doing?? but there was no one behind her, if I was her I would have backed up slightly so I could squeeze by. i have a big SUV and didn't want to risk hitting another car. so as it was clear she wasnt going anywhere i started to squeeze through, it was very tight and i was scared i was going to hit something but i felt pressured to go past. i didnt say anything at any point, i was a bit scared. anyway as I was slowly edging past, she wound her window down and she and her (i assume) OH started shouting at me. she was screaming out the window dont you fucking give me dirty looks... you fucking bitch i know who you are, you wait till I see you tomorrow, you're going to get FUCKING BATTERED, and her OH was shouting you fucking ugly bitch, slag, dog, whore etc. wth I don't even know them. my toddler dd was in the car as well and saw it.

I was shaking and almost in tears when I picked the dc up and one of the teachers asked me if I was ok, I explained what had happened and she was horrified. she advised me to report it to the head and also the police. so I did. the school couldn't give me her name obviously but as I know who's mum she is they have said it will be passed on to the police when they get in touch. the police are coming to see me today to take a statement. but am not sure what the police will do/say? maybe i should not bother in case it escalates, i live in an area where you do not want to get on the wrong side of people.

if I am honest am really shaken up. it has just reminded me of being at school myself which is ridiculous as left 18 years ago just being screamed at, abused and threatened at for nothing and feeling like I must have a face people just hate which has never left me tbh.

I just keep questioning myself, did I do something wrong, I have been driving since I was 17 and I am not sure what else I could have done??

conversely i am also angry at myself for not responding, why i am such a fucking mouse that i cant defend myself ffs

TheCatsMeow Wed 13-Jan-16 11:01:34

YANBU what a twat.

Melonaire Wed 13-Jan-16 11:02:23

You poor thing.

I don't think there's anything to beat yourself up about. Whatever you did or didn't do it wouldn't justify this kind of response. Even if you'd blocked the road and sat painting your nails! I think staying quiet was sensible too. There's a time and place for responding and it's not when faced with this level of verbal aggression. Any response would only have escalated things.

AstridPeth Wed 13-Jan-16 11:05:04

You did the right thing in reporting her.
Clearly there was no where for you to go and she should have been the one to reverse out of the way.
I work in a primary school and pick ups can be a nightmare. It really does bring out the worst in people.
There is absolutely no way the couple should have treated you in that manner and I too would have been shaken up by it.
I really do hope the police can do something - at the very least they threatened you with physical violence.

coconutpie Wed 13-Jan-16 11:11:06

YANBU. What a fucking psycho.

karen912 Wed 13-Jan-16 11:11:27

oh my god. sounds horrific - I'm not surprised you're shaken up. definitely did the right thing reporting them.

TheWitTank Wed 13-Jan-16 11:13:21

Poor you! They sound absolutely delightfulhmm -I'm glad you reported to the school and police and that the school are assisting you. Hopefully they will get a proper bollocking from the police and feel like twats. Did anyone else witness what happened? The other drivers behind you could affirm that you couldn't reverse.

goodnightdarthvader1 Wed 13-Jan-16 11:26:18

They won't feel like twats. People like that think they ALWAYS in the right.

You did the right thing by reporting them, though. Hope you feel better soon flowers

ButterflyUpSoHigh Wed 13-Jan-16 11:28:57

She sounds like an idiot. You don't sound very confident though driving such a big car.

BlueSmarties76 Wed 13-Jan-16 11:33:53

YANBU!!! How terrible for you!

Backingvocals Wed 13-Jan-16 11:33:57

She didn't say she wasn't confident. She said she wasn't sure she could get through. That's sensible not feeble.

Poor you OP. What a nutcase.

APlaceOnTheCouch Wed 13-Jan-16 11:37:44

YWNBU - you're probably only questioning it because it seemed to be taken out of your hands ie the teacher asked, you responded, suddenly you're in the middle of an issue that has to be reported. It does have to be reported. The other driver and her DP were very threatening.

Have a chat with the police about your concerns about repercussions. If a member of staff witnessed it, then it may be better being approached at a school level rather than an individual one.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 13-Jan-16 11:38:25

I wouldn't live in fear either. Some people just like to run off at the mouth and it's just noise (unacceptable noise of course).

tiggytape Wed 13-Jan-16 11:40:39

She sounds like an idiot. You don't sound very confident though driving such a big car.
confused
One driver has other cars behind them, the other driver doesn't but it is the first driver's fault that they didn't back up, wished the other person would and then squeezed through very slowly (like any good drive would) to minimise the chancesof hitting the cars packed tightly on either side.

How could you possibly turn such a disgusting display of aggression and bad driving (the other driver not OP) back on to the person who was on the end of it all?

OP - hope you are O.K. You must feel really shaken but you did the right thing reporting it. Even if nothing is done by the police, at least the school will have a heads-up at what these parents are like.

MerryMarigold Wed 13-Jan-16 11:41:37

I'm glad you reported to school. If she speaks like this to you, imagine how she speaks to her own kids.

Also, the police will hopefully at the least give her a telling off and she will know it is on record that she has threatened you so let's hope that is a warning to her that you don't take this stuff lightly, and also that she is known to the police for harassing you. She'd better not put another foot wrong in that area.

PassiveAgressiveQueen Wed 13-Jan-16 11:41:54

did you actually hit another car? or was she correct in that there was enough space?

w0lfgirl Wed 13-Jan-16 11:43:15

It needs reporting, they simply can't get away with that. You do sound terrified though and it sounds like you're both nervous driving the school run as well as nervous of the community that you live in. You don't deserve this OP. Just wondering if you thought of moving. They seem like lowlifes.

Sweetdreamsforall Wed 13-Jan-16 11:44:00

You actually sound like a sensible driver OP and you can never be too careful around schools at pick up times where little ones are. Good for you for taking precaution and for not reacting in the same manner of these low lives.

They sound like the scum of the gutter and the type of people I would never want to come into contact with in a situation like that.

I'm sure you have a lovely face and are a good person. You sound like you're in the wrong area and that's why you feel people don't like you. You are obviously better than they are.

Yeah I said it.

wonkylegs Wed 13-Jan-16 11:44:21

She was a nutter and completely inappropriate and you would be completely justified in reporting her.
My car was bumped out of the way by a parent like this (I have a teeny supermini, they have a big 4x4) because I wouldn't pull out into oncoming traffic at the junction at school. I was terrified, I reported them to the police, unfortunatly no witnesses (and fortunately no damage) so they didn't do anything. I now avoid that parent like the plague and have witnessed similar behaviour towards other parents - it's a dad with serious anger issues and frankly it's only a matter of time before he hurts somebody through dangerous driving or just thumping another parent. They have stepped up traffic warden patrols though so his abandoning the car and blocking the road tactic has been thwarted.
He also has his company name on his car so I'm pretty sure they don't get many clients through the school.

DreamingOfThruxtons Wed 13-Jan-16 11:44:35

Well, very clearly this woman and her partner are deranged and utterly in the wrong: this was a terrible experience for both you and your child, and she and he(?) need to be pulled up sharp on it.

On a very minor note (by comparison) I have to admit to wondering the same as ButterflyUpSoHigh. I live on a narrow street and we share very limited parking with other residents- time and time again I have witnessed people driving huge SUVs that are clearly not working vehicles incredibly badly, and it does start to make you wonder about people's motivation for driving them. (One woman, in particular, is unable to reverse and will drive across our lawn, churning it all up, rather than manoeuvre like everyone else...!). Still, as I say, this is a minor point and you may well be an excellent driver, so...

BadgersBum Wed 13-Jan-16 11:44:46

Try not to worry too much, bullies usually poo themselves when someone actually stands up to them. If this was at my dc's school I'd hold your hand on the next school run, and call her a twat if she kicked off.

The parking around our school is ridiculous some days, I use a supermarket car park nearby so that I can avoid getting caught up in it. I've even seen 2 grown women come to blows in the playground in full view of the kids.

Sweetdreamsforall Wed 13-Jan-16 11:47:14

Even if there were enough space it would never warrant an abusive over-reaction like that.

Go through with the complaint, keep your head high and be an example to your little one then move house

RB68 Wed 13-Jan-16 11:47:37

Whether there was enough space is irrelevant, in that situation the other driver (couple ) should have backed off. Fundamentally not everyone is as confident as others, you need to allow for that - driving should be about give and take and being courteous to other drivers not aggressive and not someone is always right and wrong - what would she have lost by backing up so there was plenty of room and no risk to expensive cars - we all hate being bumped or scraped and know what a IA it is to sort - why make life miserable for the sake of reversing a few feet. She probably didn't know how anyway OP.

SirChenjin Wed 13-Jan-16 11:47:43

That sounds awful shock. People who behave that way are absolute arseholes - you did the right thing to report them (I'm willing to bet they are either 'known to police' or have driving licenses which are far from clean).

And you sound perfectly confident driving such a big car hmm smile

ButterflyUpSoHigh Wed 13-Jan-16 11:48:28

Living in a built up inner city area I drive down roads every day with cars parked either side. I know the width of my vehicle and can judge easily if I can fit through. Daily I witness people who cause issues for others as they don't attempt to get through huge gaps. Road rage is never acceptable though.

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