Advanced search

Why do some women have more children

(154 Posts)
DizzyDancer Tue 12-Jan-16 17:09:05

Than others

Why in some families do women feel the need to have 4plus kids whereas others are happy with 1 or 2 or sometimes none at all?

I know everyone is different but I know there's a biological response to proceeate.

hobnobsaremyfave Tue 12-Jan-16 17:09:51

Well a man and a woman made the decision to have four children in my case

CaptainCrunch Tue 12-Jan-16 17:11:49

You could apply that question to absolutely anything, you're hardly going to get a definitive answer

TheoriginalLEM Tue 12-Jan-16 17:12:08

because everyone is different and thank God for that!

DangerMouth Tue 12-Jan-16 17:13:01

Lots of reasons, l can think of money, support, career, enjoyment, just to name a few.

I've just had dd2 and while my hormones are saying go on, go for dd3 dc3 my brain is saying don't be so stupid smile

VoldysGoneMouldy Tue 12-Jan-16 17:13:29


Mebathiscold Tue 12-Jan-16 17:14:05

Women feel the need? No men involved? Miracle babies.

Arfarfanarf Tue 12-Jan-16 17:14:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CakeFail Tue 12-Jan-16 17:14:57

If I had endless cash I'd love a big family! As it is we have one and we're planning to have one more (eventually).

DawnOfTheDoggers Tue 12-Jan-16 17:15:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RookieMonster Tue 12-Jan-16 17:15:29

We all have a finite amount of resources - time, energy, money - and we all choose to put those resources into different endeavors. Simple as that.

GiddyOnZackHunt Tue 12-Jan-16 17:16:25

You might as well ask why some people have 4 pairs of shoes and some have 50.

MistressMerryWeather Tue 12-Jan-16 17:16:51

Better odds one of them will get rich and buy me a mansion.

Strokethefurrywall Tue 12-Jan-16 17:17:04

I have 2, I'd have 3 but my desire to keep myself in expensive footwear, long haul holiday plans in place and my body in the decent knick it's in now, overrules any broodiness.

Honest answer.

WhittlingIhopMonkey Tue 12-Jan-16 17:19:06

I have no support from family, am crippled by child care costs, find parenting very hard work and am happy to stop at 2.

Other people have more money or more support or find parenting a delight at all times and are happy to keep going and going.

Some people physically can't have lots, some can.

A million reasons.

NNalreadyinuse Tue 12-Jan-16 17:22:19

Well, my first one turned our to be so wonderful, I felt owed it to society to have more wink

Being serious, I took to motherhood like a duck to water - I was lucky in that my dc were not difficult to look after and I enjoyed their childhood. So for me, having more than one didn't feel hard. I also liked the idea that they would have each other as they got older. I am very close to my siblings, which probably influenced my decision.

DizzyDancer Tue 12-Jan-16 17:22:53

I'm not just talking about money and what not
I'm talking about being finally happy and satisfied you have the right number of children

For example you have the money and the space

Would you have kept going or would you still have stopped at X

And thank you for the biscuit <dips it in tea>

Optimum007 Tue 12-Jan-16 17:25:17

We can't afford any more than 2. It wouldn't be fair.

ouryve Tue 12-Jan-16 17:27:09

Because they want to?
Because they were fine with 2, but accidentally got pregnant again and it was twins?
In occasional cases, because an abusive partner does everything he can to keep the little woman barefoot and pregnant.

Many other reasons. More than I can fathom. It was enough of a jum for me to go to never wanting any, ever, to wanting one to wanting a second. DH and I reached our limit at that point.

Indantherene Tue 12-Jan-16 17:28:46

I always felt like someone was missing until I had DC5. Now I don't. That OK with you OP?

ChatShitGetBanged Tue 12-Jan-16 17:28:47

i thought i only wanted one, had a dc from a disastrous relationship that ended when he was a tiny baby, he wasn't planned

then i met dh and realised what it was to be broody blush we couldn't wait to have our own

so we quickly had dd1 and then dd2 ...he had one from a prev relationship too, and we wanted to have two "together" if that makes sense?

anyway 3 just seemed perfect for us.

MrsHooolie Tue 12-Jan-16 17:29:33

I felt really broody after DC 1 and we started trying when she was 1.
As soon as DC2 was born my broodiness literally disappeared over night.
So for me,it was a biological thing I guess?Some people have asked if I'd have had more if they had been the same sex but I don't think so. Two DC felt right for us.

HPsauciness Tue 12-Jan-16 17:30:22

I would have kept going if I'd had the money or the space, mainly the money. With having to work full time, it was not possible to have a third child without it being extraordinarily stressful, health-wise and money-wise so reluctantly I stopped at two. Maternity leave too short, childcare costs for me to work too high.

I have made peace with it and am now glad, I felt sad about it for years, but now they are coming into preteen/teen years am feeling there's plenty to occupy me as a parent!

PennyHasNoSurname Tue 12-Jan-16 17:30:31

I dont understand why these sorts of questions are looked at just on the mothers side. What about the father?

Surely it should be "why do some people choose to have more kids than others?"

For me, we chose two. First because we knew we wanted one. Second because we couldnt decide whether to have one more or not so just went for it.

Some people have loads because they can/want to/love parenting/hate contraception/have accidents.

Some people have none because they dont want any/cant have any/cant decide.

Strokethefurrywall Tue 12-Jan-16 17:30:47

Hmmm, I have the money and the space for a 3rd. And for the longest time I wanted a 3rd, being that I'm the middle of 3.

But I watch my young DSs play together now and with the youngest coming up for 2 years in March, I find myself not wanting to go back to the beginning, even though my initial thought when I saw DS2s face was "please God don't let this be my last one!"

I loved being pregnant, I loved giving birth and loved those amazing newborn days. But I'm back to being myself again, instead of "Mummy" - I have a successful full time career, I have external interests, and I want to be defined by more than my kids.

But if I was super-yacht wealthy, I would probably have popped out a 3rd but would have stopped there.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: