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Prom problem

(138 Posts)
Geriatricme Tue 12-Jan-16 16:35:52

My daughter is mega excited over her prom coming up this year. Her best friend and her have been excited for over 6 months. Prom dresses are a major element in this! The friend bought her dress and looks lovely in it. We then went and bought my daughter's dress - in the ridiculous hundreds - in the colour and style she was looking for. She loves it and was beaming. The friend has now though stated she wasn't sure about her dress - bought from a national store - and has tried on and really likes another dress. It's in exactly the same colour, neckline and fitting as my daughter's dress. My daughter is so upset. There is a history here of my daughter's friend buying clothes my daughter says she likes before my daughter can buy them. I have always said she should consider it flattery and not to worry. But this is a bit much - they would be sitting together! The friend hasn't bought it yet but may do. This has now caused upset between the girls and unfortunately us mums are too. Are we overreacting? An honest opinion really wanted here? Thank you

timelytess Tue 12-Jan-16 16:37:39

Yes, everyone is over-reacting. Your daughter will look like your daughter in her dress, and the other girl will look like the other girl in hers.

No problem.

Its only a problem if they make it one. Why bother? Just enjoy.

PinotAndPlaydough Tue 12-Jan-16 16:40:57

I get why your daughter will be annoyed but really is it worth her falling out with a friend over a dress they will wear once for a few hours?
Also don't understand why parents have fallen out, surely you should be trying to help the girls work this out not make the situation worse.

LieslVonTrap Tue 12-Jan-16 16:43:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 12-Jan-16 16:45:14

I can understand why your dd is upset, the Prom is such a part of Year 11 culture now and it takes up a lot of head space for some girls.

I don't think you and the other Mum should be falling out, that is taking it too far.

Does your dd want to change her dress if her mate buys the similar one?

Katenka Tue 12-Jan-16 16:49:18

Tbh Yabu.

I can see a teenage girl being upset over something like this. I was often unreasonable as a teenage girl. But the parents?

How would your dd react if one or more people turn up at the prom in the same dress

Her friends is similar but not the same?

Your dd has two choices, stick with what she is wearing regardless or change dresses. If she changes she needs to keep it to herself.

Why did she tell the friend exactly which dress she has if she has form for doing this?

Iggi999 Tue 12-Jan-16 16:53:22

What does the friend say if your dd says that to her "don't get one the same as mine, we'll look ridiculous and no one will notice anything else about us" - what would the friend say, what could she say?

specialsubject Tue 12-Jan-16 16:54:49

lesson 1 in not being a fool; someone else wearing the same dress DOES NOT MATTER.

the other person may also have an equal number of legs to you.

lives are available and I suggest everyone involved gets one.

momb Tue 12-Jan-16 16:55:04

What prom is this? What school year are they in?

itsmine Tue 12-Jan-16 16:55:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Geriatricme Tue 12-Jan-16 16:56:02

And that's why I asked for an honest opinion 😀
The friends mum sees nothing wrong in them being twins and I do. They will be the only twins there 😂 The friend's mum totally gives in to every whim of her daughter and is thought to be too overprotective by all. She just can't seem to say no to her. I have always been quite firm with my daughter and followed through on "punishments"
I am willing to phone shop re a different colour but why should I? My daughter hasn't done anything wrong. That's as well as losing the deposit which I can't afford.

Geriatricme Tue 12-Jan-16 17:00:44

Only looked at a few dresses. The dress bought is at the lower price for new dresses - they go from about £250 to £700. Yes I want her to have a lovely dress but I'm not nuts 😂
It's age 16.
She showed her the picture of her address because the other girl had already bought hers x

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Tue 12-Jan-16 17:05:38

Id be annoyed too! Local shops have a list of prom dresses for each school and only sell one to that 'school' for this reason. Think you have made your opinion known as has DD you should wait and see

Girlwhowearsglasses Tue 12-Jan-16 17:13:20

Gosh the excitement (anticlimax) level will be sky high by the summer if you carry on like this! Surely it's perfectly possible for a dress not to fit by the summer if you buy it now anyway? I didn't even have breasts at this age - six months later they were a DD.

Hair and jewellery OP. And coach her to say 'oh I'm not sure what my hair/necklace/shoes/bag will be yet' FGS!

Brightnorthernlights Tue 12-Jan-16 17:13:55

Have I clicked onto an episode of High School Musical by mistake..........

BackforGood Tue 12-Jan-16 17:14:20

Just so you know <missing point entirely> LOADS of people buy beautiful prom dresses for a LOT less than £250 - not sure how you work out they "go from £250" hmm

I totally agree with LieslVonTrpp

Geriatricme Tue 12-Jan-16 17:16:11

Aww come on you have teenage girls? Have you a concept of hormones, prices and the dreaded prom? 😂

titchy Tue 12-Jan-16 17:17:52

Dd's cost £60 from eBay..... Just saying.

momb Tue 12-Jan-16 17:18:49

So they are doing mocks exams, revising for GCSEs, getting part time jobs, expanding their minds and experience......and planning (and actually getting upset over) what to wear to a school dance in 6 months' time?

OP you need to calm the situation not inflame it: one or other of the girls will change her mind before the prom anyway. Planning a prom dress this far in advance is essentially bonkers: it is supposed to be a treat, a right of passage for making it through a tough year at school.... they are worrying about a frock before actually getting through the exam year!

Geriatricme Tue 12-Jan-16 17:19:41

Please show me where these new Prom dresses are at a lot less than £250 - and not the foreign sites that send you the equivalent of a shroud

Andylion Tue 12-Jan-16 17:20:50

What does the friend say if your dd says that to her "don't get one the same as mine, we'll look ridiculous and no one will notice anything else about us" - what would the friend say, what could she say?
And why does the friend want to wear a similar dress? I would be livid too.

momb Tue 12-Jan-16 17:21:12

I have a Y11 DD. She is very stressed about her mocks (coming up) and revising like mad to get ahead so that her GCSEs won't be too bad (she hates exams and always presents a grade or two below her ability due to stress). She is also practicing an audition piece for an upcoming casting. I can honestly say the word prom has not passed her lips!

Geriatricme Tue 12-Jan-16 17:22:42

Titchy - new? And not a sack from abroad?
Why is everybody concentrating on price? The dilemma isn't the price fgs 🤔 .... Have some missed the point....

ghostyslovesheep Tue 12-Jan-16 17:23:27

I have 2 teenage daughters - there is now way I will be spending £250+on a frock - I can't afford to!

anyway that aside yabu - don't feed the drama - your daughter will look lovely for the 5 hours she's wearing it (£50 an hour grin )

momb Tue 12-Jan-16 17:23:40

Please show me where these new Prom dresses are at a lot less than £250 - and not the foreign sites that send you the equivalent of a shroud

prom dresses under £250

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