Football matches and racism. Ds year 8

[Badbadtromance]

Would I be unreasonable to stop ds year 8 travel by car two hours with another parents plus male relative yo a football match. What worries me is the racist chants and banana throwimg , drinking and fights. Its a first league match. I only know what I have seen on TV.

[Pointlessfan]

I've been to hundreds of football matches and have never seen any of that. Drinking yes, bad language yes but no trouble, even at local derbies. The trouble makers tend to stay away from the heavily-policed grounds!

[samG76]

Yes, YWBU. I've never seen a banana being thrown, and my DH hasn't in 40 years of watching. Nor has he seen a fight since 1983. Racist chanting is pretty unusual, as well. He'll probably have a great time (unless it's Millwall)

[JohnLuther]

What makes you think there'll be racist chants? There's certainly no banana throwing.

[Badbadtromance]

Seen stuff on TV which is why I have never been to a match. Would be great to hear from some non white mnetters who have been

[nancy75]

I've been to millwall, used to live round the corner to the den, I've never seen banana throwing or fighting

[RustyBear]

My DS went with his uncle & cousin to football matches to West Brom games for several years (sometimes Premier League, sometimes Championship, depending on whether they'd been promoted or relegated the previous year). I think he was about 10 the first time. I never had any worries about him and he certainly hasn't turned into a banana throwing racist.

It depends on whether you trust the adults he's with - if you think they are going to be throwing bananas and chanting, then no way, but if they are sensible normal adults they will make it quite clear that only idiots behave like that - I don't think just seeing/hearing that kind of stuff would influence a 13 year old that much.

[wannabestressfree]

My sons go regularly and you see more trouble on the pitch than off it.... And it's dealt with quickly.

[Sisi13]

Hi Badbad,

My son went to a Notts Forest match last year with his friend( both non white), they left early due to racist chanting :(

[tillytown]

I've never seen any behaviour like that, ywbu

[MagpieCursedTea]

YABU I've been going to football matches for years and never heard any racist chanting and certainly never seen a banana being thrown. There's swearing and people who've had a few drinks but the stewards are everywhere and any issues are dealt with quickly.

[samG76]

Sorry to hear that, Sisi. I've been quite impressed by the way the crowd manages to insult almost every aspect of a player without referring to his race. But that's in London. At more provincial clubs, especially with lower league teams, I have heard it can be worse.

[Hissy]

I've been to Reading loads, language yes, but never any racism!
Most of our players are non-White, and actually a few of those who are white aren't originally from the uk either. There are signs up all around the stadium about bad language and racism not being tolerated.

But they do swear..

Can you name the teams?

Sisi that is so sad! I'd have contacted the club tbh

Bad is this a home or away match?

If home, some stadiums have family sections, so less likelihood of "trouble"

There should not be any fights, security these days is tight.

Racism aside, at 13/14, a year 8 child will have come into contact with language and actually imo, it's a lesson in understanding social context.

My son knows what people say, he know what things mean and he knows the hierarchy. He also knows clearly that I never want to hear him swear, nor do I accept him swearing where he could be overheard by another parent/adult.

My DS is an only child, for me it's important he knows how to relate to other men and male environments. 99% of the time we never hear any swearing, there is no trouble and it's a hugely positive bonding experience that we share.

Watching youth teams (and women's) is brilliant. Reading play in the elite league at U21 level, so their next match at home is against Chelsea. It's all free, even to park, and they do meet the (adult team) player for signings and stuff, it's brilliant! Well worth it.

Our footy players are gawjus... I drooled and tried really hard not to make a tit of myself the last time we went!!

[Herrerarerra]

My son and I regularly go to Manchester United and have never heard any racist chanting. Plenty of language (and that's just me!) but no racism.

[BackforGood]

YABVU - - it's just not like that.
Not sure what TV you are watching, as I don't see that on TV or in real life.
My BiL and niece have had a season ticket for a premiership side for some years and have never seen a banana thrown in anger.
In fact, in recent years, my feeling is that the stewards are completely over zealous now in most grounds and don't even allow a bit of banter.

[GraciesMansion]

I have been to hundreds of football matches and never seen any racist chanting or banana throwing. I've seen fights, usually as a consequence of drinking, but always dealt with very quickly. Swearing is par for the course. I've never felt unsafe at a match, ever, and have taken my dc quite happily.

[seasidesally]

yabu my 8year old goes to premier league matches,all home games and a few away he loves it and the atmosphere is not as you think

ive also been to a few and im no dire hard fan but i have to say the atmosphere is fantastic and the whole experience very enjoyable

i think your basing your opinions on the 70's/80's when football was very differrent

let him go he will love it

[seasidesally]

i would be worried about the cost

when its premiership it can get a little expensive when you factor in petrol (60 mile round trip here) parking.season ticket etc

pray he dosent want to go all the time

seriously though it's a great experience for him

[CatThiefKeith]

YABU. I was a season ticket holder at Arsenal for years and never saw any fighting, racism or banana throwing.

And the two guys either side of me were black, they never had any problems either, and regularly took my seat for one of their kids if I couldn't make it.

[tigerdriverII]

DS (year 9) and I are both season ticket holders at a League 2 club and have been for some years. I'd echo what hissy says about the composition of the teams. All sorts of insults are chucked around at players, managers and fans, some very amusing and inventive, and there is language but it's no worse than your average school playground.

While English teams are fairly likely to taunt Welsh fans, for example, when opportunity arises, I've never heard racist comments on the grounds of colour and I'm pretty sure that anyone who did step out of line would get turned on by our fans and the stewards pdq.

Some fans will have been drinking but it's not generally an issue and I wouldn't expect to see any fighting. I hope he has a good time.

[HelpfulChap]

I too have been to hundreds of matches. No one has thrown a banana for decades.
Fights between rival fans is extremely rare. I haven't seen one for many years.

What team are they going to see? Some are worse than others.

Racism at Spurs and Arsenal is virtually nonexistent in my experience.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

I'm sorry but I'm peeing myself at 'banana throwing'.

[BeverlyGoldberg]

I've been to a lot of football matches and never encountered racist chanting or bananas. I have heard some fairly offensive chants not relating to race however!

The only episode of football related racism was in a pub where a group of knuckle draggers were singing that they'd rather be a member of a certain race than a fan of the opposing team. We just upped and left, watched the match in a different pub.

I'd have little hesitation in taking DD to a match. I might be careful of the teams involved, for example I might avoid a derby match.

[HelpfulChap]

BeverleyGoldberg

I bet I can tell you both the teams and the chant itself....

[weebarra]

I support a Scottish Premiership team and I have only once heard racist abuse - and the "fan" responsible was ejected pretty quickly. I take my 5 year old and DH takes our 8 year old (different team) and we rarely see any trouble. As a pp said, there's more violence on the pitch than in the stands!