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nanny doing personal chores with toddler

(170 Posts)
FarterChristmoose Tue 12-Jan-16 09:09:27

Is it acceptable for a nanny to take toddler with her on personal chores such as nannys doctors and dentist appointments, food shopping etc rather than doing these on nannys day off? She gets one weekday off Plus weekends. She takes toddler for daily walks, play groups etc.

KinkyAfro Tue 12-Jan-16 09:10:55

Not sure why it should matter? At least your toddler is out getting a walk and some fresh air. Wouldn't bother me.

What would you prefer her to be doing?

patterkiller Tue 12-Jan-16 09:11:56

I would think it was good for toddler to experience these things, assuming she's not at the doctors or dentists weekly? But I have never had a nanny so really have no idea.

possum18 Tue 12-Jan-16 09:12:12

I would have thought it inappropriate to take toddler to the medical appointments, beside unnecessary exposure to other poorly patients, surely Nanny would be allowed time off to attend important medical appointments, and if not urgent then should be arranged during non working hours.

slicedfinger Tue 12-Jan-16 09:12:30

I think I'd be happy so long as it wasn't every day. It's normal life, and good for a toddler to see dentist/doctor etc as normal.

Only1scoop Tue 12-Jan-16 09:12:46

I think that's absolutely fine.

Normal day to day stuff.

ghnocci Tue 12-Jan-16 09:12:58

I think it's fine. A SAHP would be doing the same. Also as trite as it sounds, any trip out is a learning opportunity for a toddler.

waterrat Tue 12-Jan-16 09:13:02

Isn't that normal life? I am happy for my childminder to do things like that with my children now and then. I prefer kids do normal stuff than a constant round of entertainment aimed at them which is not necessary. As long as she does the playgroups etc I wouldnt mind.

CakeFail Tue 12-Jan-16 09:13:10

Wouldn't bother me either tbh. If she was working in an office she would probably be allowed time off with pay for doctors and dental appointments (I always have been).

Lweji Tue 12-Jan-16 09:13:20

Like you would if you were a sahm?
Why not?

I might only discuss the doctors, as it's a good source for infectious diseases.

Solasum Tue 12-Jan-16 09:13:53

I think shopping is fine, but would be less happy about medical appointments. That said, the more familiar your toddler is with the concept of going to the dentist, the more likely they are to be relaxed when it is their turn?

Figmentofmyimagination Tue 12-Jan-16 09:13:58

Sounds like quite a fun, healthy and 'real life' way to spend her day, which is something you could celebrate! Much better than only interacting with other nannies and similar aged children, or being stuck indoors.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 12-Jan-16 09:14:52

Presumably you wanted childcare from home, your child is getting experiences that all children have to cope with at some point.

Dental or GP appointments can't always be given to a specific date.

I don't see a problem personally.

oscar126 Tue 12-Jan-16 09:17:54

I would keep an eye on this. A couple of appointments or errands wouldn't bother me but we once had a nanny who would take our son home with her, so that he was there while she carried on her normal life (did her housework, saw friends) although we were paying her to do all this! It's a question of balance, as others have said, and i wouldn't be happy if too much of the nanny's "normal life" was going on and the childcare was being made to fit in around it.

PurpleThermalsNowItsWinter Tue 12-Jan-16 09:18:09

Shopping is fine - there's loads of scope for teaching healthy eating, different fruits, vegetables etc, learning opportunities in letter and number recognition. Doctors and dentists are a normal part of life and if you're not giving her time off for them I would say it's ok.

SaucyJack Tue 12-Jan-16 09:18:56

I don't think it's appropriate for her to take her charges to medical appts.

Yes, as a SHAM I'd take my own kids with my- but only because I had no choice. I wouldn't be pretending it was a learning experience for them. I also don't think it's very professional to be talking about anything of an even remotely intimate bodily nature in front of a charge. It would have been a complete no-no when I was doing care stuff.

Supermarket yadda yadda is fine I reckon.

Lweji Tue 12-Jan-16 09:19:01

There are quite a few interesting conversations to be had at the doctors and the dentist.

All those interesting leaflets.

lunar1 Tue 12-Jan-16 09:19:44

I wouldn't want constant appointment and errands. Occasionally fine but not every day. I'd imagine it's quite a personal decision that would have been discussed at the start.

For me I wouldn't see it as the same as a sham as it is expensive to hire a nanny. I think a nanny should plan most things around work where possible as we all have to.

Thunderblunder Tue 12-Jan-16 09:20:01

If your nanny doesn't take your toddler with her to medical appointments then wouldn't she need the time off which would mean you having to take time off work?
Trying to get appointments on a certain day to fit in with days off can be an absolute nightmare.

FarterChristmoose Tue 12-Jan-16 09:21:30

My friend is the nanny in question, not my nanny. She has been arranging everything for her day off and is exhausted, just wants a day to herself. I suggested she take toddler with her to places and she won.t because she worries her employers wouldn't be happy about it.

Lweji Tue 12-Jan-16 09:22:36

In that case she should ask them.

TiggyD Tue 12-Jan-16 09:24:57

If she uses those chores as a learning experience, fine.

Visiting the dentist is particularly good. Learn to love dentists early.

RiverTam Tue 12-Jan-16 09:27:11

How many appointments are we talking about? Though, to be fair, she gets a day off a week more than most working people so don't know why she'd be so exhausted?

BarbarianMum Tue 12-Jan-16 09:28:39

So your friend works 4 days a week and has 3 off. Not sure why she should be "exhausted" fitting everything into her day off then, can she not recover in the other two? hmm

It wouldn't bother me if my children were taken to run the occasional errand but I don't think expecting routine dentist's appointments and personal shopping to be done in her own time is unreasonable tbh.

AutumnLeavesArePretty Tue 12-Jan-16 09:28:41

I'd be very unhappy, a one off that was asked about I would be fine with but not regularly. I can't imagine many bosses being happy with employees doing jobs, shopping, appointments etc when being paid to work.

Very different for a SAHP as they are not an employee or being paid to do a job.

She may need to see the doctor if she's young and exhausted after four days work.

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