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RSVP Aibu??

(48 Posts)
Mummydearest85 Mon 11-Jan-16 20:47:44

Ok, just wanting to know Aibu?
DD birthday party is on Saturday. I've booked a children's party at one of these soft play places. I have estimated around 10 children, although we ended up sending 12 invites out. Invites were given on the first day back at school, with all the info written on, my phone number, and RSVP by 8th Jan, which was last Friday. I have to phone the venue tomorrow to confirm the final numbers of children attending, I also still need to buy party bags, goodies, prizes, plates/cups etc. AIBU to be annoyed that out of 12 invites sent, not one parent has RSVP'd! Not a single one! I've double checked I wrote my phone number down correct on the invites. I'm friends on Facebook with a few of the mums too, but so far not a single person has responded to say whether or not they can attend! I understand that mums and dads are busy, and it's easy to forget to respond. Past parties have always had one or two mums I need to catch up with to confirm if they're coming or not, but to have all 12 fail to respond?! I've now got to try and catch all 12 parents tomorrow to ask them all if their kid is coming or not. What's more, I have an upset 6 year old who thinks nobody is coming to her party! sad AIBU??!

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Mon 11-Jan-16 20:49:57

Welcome to the world of children's parties.

It's a ballache. People just don't understand about needing to know numbers and stuff.

Manners went out with the Arc.

MsColouring Mon 11-Jan-16 20:50:02

PM the parents you have as fb friends asking if their children are coming and ask if any of them have numbers for the other parents.

scarlets Mon 11-Jan-16 20:53:57

Is it possible that the invitations have gone astray? 12 non-responders is a lot. I'd expect 2 or 3 of 12 to need to be chased up.

Mummydearest85 Mon 11-Jan-16 20:55:29

I saw the kids handing their parents the invites at home time on first day back. It's strange that all 12 haven't responded. hmm

Goingtobeawesome Mon 11-Jan-16 20:56:10

I'd be tempted to send a joint text saying party cancelled due to no one replying then take your child somewhere else with the money you've not spent on these children with rude parents.

jellyrolly Mon 11-Jan-16 20:58:16

If you see them at school pick up or drop off just ask them then. It's not personal, most people have good intentions but bad manners where these things are concerned. Concentrate on having a lovely birthday.

d270r0 Mon 11-Jan-16 20:58:21

I'd double check the invites were actually given out, did you do it or rely on your dd or teacher? If either of the latter, they might not actually have got to the kids, or might not have come home in book bags.

Definitely message the mums on facebook and ask them, if you see them at the school gate ask them, its not rude as you need to know if they are going! Assuming the invitations did get to them, they are being very rude not to respond.

CountryRoadTakeMeHome Mon 11-Jan-16 20:58:50


So so rude! It's just a text! You will probably find most will just turn up and some will reply late. Unfortunately there are always a few who totally ignore the invite, and of course occasionally the invite will not have arrived home.

If I were you I'd just ask the parents in passing if they are able to make it. If you have mobile or Facebook contact just message.

My DS came home with an invite today. I looked at the calendar to check if he/we were free and immediately RSVP'd.

Hope all works out and your DC has a lovely 6th birthday.

munkisocks Mon 11-Jan-16 20:59:37

Is it possible the children told the birthday child themselves and your child hasn't said anything?

nextusername Mon 11-Jan-16 20:59:53

I agree it's unusual for no-one at all to have replied. I think you need to ask people in person to find out.

munkisocks Mon 11-Jan-16 21:00:22

Oh nvm saw last bit of your op.

Mummydearest85 Mon 11-Jan-16 21:01:58

Country road, that's what I do. RSVP straight away before I forget about it! I shall have to catch up with them ALL tomorrow... confused

soontobemrsmckeown Mon 11-Jan-16 21:04:31

My DDs birthday is Saturday too sent invites out on the 4/1/16 also, rsvp was today out of 25 ( including dd) ive had 19 say yes, 3 no, 3 no replys. I found i got more results of rsvps by asking at pick up than texts parents said they feel uncomfortable texting if they dont really know you.

EponasWildDaughter Mon 11-Jan-16 21:06:25

End of the first day back at school was usually chaotic IIRC. Notes and slips from the school about homework, PE kits and upcoming trips. New reading records, ect.

It IS rude not to RSVP, but don't take it personally OP.

Can you get a mobile number for the invitees from the school? Class list of numbers? Chase them up that way? Just a quick text each to ask if they're coming.

PrincePondicherry Mon 11-Jan-16 21:11:07

If you have some on Facebook why not message them tonight to give yourself less people to catch in line?

Sunbeam1112 Mon 11-Jan-16 21:11:35

It's worse when you send invites for a wedding. I pretty had to get in touch with everyone to double check.

Bogeybrains Mon 11-Jan-16 22:17:09

YANBU I hate this. I'm not doing another party this year because I found all this so stressful. Last year, I invited 16 school friends to the party and only got 3 replies with 1 week to go. Panicked and invited a further 5, got 2 yes replies from those but then padded out the party by inviting children of friends. Another 4 replied in the last few days. A couple apologising because they hadn't seen the invite sooner but only 2 bothered to text to say they couldn't make it.

I remember stressing at work and a few friends saying they felt bad because they didn't bother to reply to invites unless they could actually go. It's so rude. Parent's are trying to make the day special for their child - tell them so they can invite somebody else in your child's place if they can't go.

My 5 year old went to a party a few months ago. The family had invited 70 people and catered for them incase the non rsvpers turned up. Less than half showed up and so much food went wasted. I know people are busy but a text takes a few seconds. How would they like it if was their child?

ghostyslovesheep Mon 11-Jan-16 22:22:30

YANBU - welcome to the hell of kids parties - be prepared for at least one child to turn up with siblings who expect to join in - last party we had it was 1 invited kid -2 sibs - but then we had 4 non RSVP's who didn't come!

Soooosie Mon 11-Jan-16 22:32:26

Facebook the ones you're on FB with. Get phone numbers and text ones not on FB. Simple.

'Hi x, hope x can come to x's party. Will need to contact the soft play centre tomorrow to finalise numbers. Any chance you let me know by 5 tomorrow. Cheers

Thebookswereherfriends Mon 11-Jan-16 22:54:38

Another thread confirming my belief that I will not have big parties for my child. They can invite 2 or 3 friends and be done with it. Unbelievable rudeness.

Antisoc Mon 11-Jan-16 22:56:40

Oh dear, that's really bad. Is there anything else on over the weekend. I'd be tempted to cancel as it would be awful if no one came.

In future just ask your DCs very best friends over for a birthday tea at your house.

Needfinsnow Mon 11-Jan-16 22:58:47

It's so rude! I rsvp as soon as I get the invitation..this week dd had 4 parties! Next week she has 2. Rsvp'ing makes me write it in my diary and plan when I can go buy presents! Not rsvp'ing is incredibly rude x

shouldwestayorshouldwego Mon 11-Jan-16 23:35:06

blush I almost fell into the RSVP non-responder camp. Was trying to make space in ds's bag which I forgot to empty after Christmas and discovered an envelope. I assumed it was another Christmas card we had overlooked and wasn't too bothered about it. Ds piped up and said 'oh yes Jamie gave me another Christmas card'. Fortunately I know 'Jamie's' mother and she is far too organised to get her dc doing two Christmas cards. She is also so organised that there are still quite a few weeks until the party so I was able to RSVP with relatively clear conscience. I would be surprised if there are 12 like me in our dc's class though.

nextusername Mon 11-Jan-16 23:41:52

Please do chase people up. I'd hate to be thought rude for not replying to an invitation I hadn't received in the first place. Unfortunately they can go missing for various reasons, and even if that's only happened to one out of the twelve, I'm sure that person would like the chance to show they weren't being rude!

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