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To ask your experience of violence

(108 Posts)
TreeBird16 Mon 11-Jan-16 17:42:18

It occurs to me today that at 34 years old I have never been hit. I have been fortunate enough to have never experienced physical violence or intimidation.

My parents made a conscious decision never to hit and stuck to it. We were never ever given a slap on the leg.

No partner has ever hit me and I have never been bullied or randomly beaten up.

I have never, nor will I ever hit my kids.

I wondering am I unusual in being fortunate in this regard?

yorkshapudding Mon 11-Jan-16 17:53:37

The only times I've ever been assaulted have been at work (NHS).

Imustgodowntotheseaagain Mon 11-Jan-16 18:00:52

Spanked by parents, threatened in a pub once but not punched, subtly threatened by EA partner. Never hit as an adult (unless you count with someone else's car).

yummytummy Mon 11-Jan-16 18:01:43

You are lucky. Plus those who have experienced and survived dv in a relationship really do not want to dwell on it or share it. Which you wouldn't be aware of if had no experience. And I wonder why you want to know?

Oswin Mon 11-Jan-16 18:03:51

Never hit by parents.
Had some fights when I was younger.
Two abusive relationship.
I was also randomly head butted and knocked out by a man on a night out, we assume it's because my sister had earlier rejected him, I hadn't even spoke to him.

wasonthelist Mon 11-Jan-16 18:04:20

Bloke, 53 here. (Almost)no actual violence since school, been threatened a few times by blokes, including as recently as 4 years ago on holiday. Last actual violence was in my 20s, sitting on a bench in cith centre. I was approached by a yojnv teenage girl who began to say "excuse me..." very politely. Unknown to me, she had an accomplice who was standing behind me and struck my head really hard with her hand. They ran off.

Oswin Mon 11-Jan-16 18:05:08

I can't actually think of any women in my circle of family an friends that haven't been on the receiving end of violence from a man.

CwtchMeQuick Mon 11-Jan-16 18:05:08

I got beaten up once as a teenager.
Ex hit me regularly until I left him. He also tried to break my wrist, threw me across the kitchen table, threw me into walls etc.
I also got slapped and kicked a few times when I was working with elderly people with mental health problems

goodnightdarthvader1 Mon 11-Jan-16 18:07:20

I was slapped hard on the ass and had a banana skin smushed in my face (simultaneously) by 2 assailants when walking from my work to my car one evening. I think that's the only time.

ghostyslovesheep Mon 11-Jan-16 18:08:02

Mum did hit us as children (with a clothes brush) but stopped when I was about 8 and she learned better ways to deal with us - kinder ways

I was sexually assaulted as a child

I was in a violent relationship for 3 years as an adult

My ex husband could be verbally aggressive and physically threatening

I have numerous run ins with the police whilst being involved in peaceful protest

I was attacked (I think by soldiers - although it was dark) in the middle of the night once at Greenham - roughed up a bit and our tent torn down

Generally though I've had a peaceful life!

coffeeisnectar Mon 11-Jan-16 18:11:15

Raped at knifepoint by an ex who broke into my house.

Regularly hit and eventually strangled by another ex.

muminthecity Mon 11-Jan-16 18:14:14

I've experienced quite a lot sadly - a little as a child, lots at work in my first job and in a relationship sad

Champagneformyrealfriends Mon 11-Jan-16 18:18:53

Smack on the bum as a child, a boy in junior school punched me because I tried to stop him beating up one of my brothers friends. My ex could be aggressive-he slapped me once and nearly punched me another time but was stopped by a friend of mine. DH is a very gentle man though and has never laid a hand on me.

TreeBird16 Mon 11-Jan-16 18:20:23

strangely enough Oswin I don't know any women who have been assaulted in their relationships. I know by repute of a couple of families in my neighbourhood where the man is violent. One of 2 of my friends were beaten up as teenagers by bigger gangs of girls.

I'm so sorry for all of you that have been hurt, I'd imagine the emotional scars last far longer than the physical 🙁

lizzydrippingsghost Mon 11-Jan-16 18:21:47

beaten up countless times black eyes cut lip slashed with a knife and thats not including the sexual violence.got out of that hell a long time ago

ChesterFuckingDraws Mon 11-Jan-16 18:23:22

I hate been assaulted numerous times at work, some very minor (nipping, spat on, scratched) to more serious (biting, kicking and punching) I was kicked in the head on my second day-really made me wonder if it was the job for me still there 8years later
I'm very fortunate to not have experienced DV in any way.
I have been threatened on a night out and have had a drink thrown in my face (the glass followed but I'd moved) by a drunken random on a night out, it really put me off going out..

knobblyknee Mon 11-Jan-16 18:24:34

I was severely beaten up once, and also stabbed and left for dead. Have just got over nearly 15 years of PTSD. I'm OK now, but it changes you. I have a hard time trusting people.

Katarzyna79 Mon 11-Jan-16 18:25:07

I think you are fortunate OP .

I was smacked lightly earliesr memory 6yrs old. as i got older got worse dragged by pony tail. Slapped in face. Shoved kicked on floor. in twenties had head hit on radiator coz i was 5 mins late i was never out at night btw.

worse both parents dabbled in strangling me wonderful memories until 26 yrs old

toffeeboffin Mon 11-Jan-16 18:26:24

You're very fortunate - unfortunately IFYSWIM! No-one should experience violence in an ideal world.

I had one experience of violence - I had a fight at school.

wasonthelist Mon 11-Jan-16 18:26:45

I suspect my sister may have been a victim of dv a long time back, but she vehmently denies it.

Katarzyna79 Mon 11-Jan-16 18:28:41

Funny i still love my parents had a better relationship after i married and moved at 26 now i care for my dad i guess it explains why my other sibkibgs refuse to i forgave moved on they havent. I wont let it consume me but i lack esteem and akways had doci anxiety thats the reason i know

SomebodySedateMe Mon 11-Jan-16 18:28:53

Assaulted by a 15 year old on the street at the age of 22. Main road. I was walking past as she argued with her boyfriend and for whatever reason she didn't like the look of me. First I knew was when I was thrown against railings and she headbutted me! Fractured my cheekbone as her boyfriend egged her on. I tried to shout to some people walking towards us but they turned out to be her friends so it didn't help. Suffered about 10 minutes of being attacked before a car pulled over and they ran.

Shook me up for a long time .

Blue14 Mon 11-Jan-16 18:31:12

I am not sure that I would consider you "lucky" op. No one wants to get hurt, but normal life does involve some roughness.

MaidOfStars Mon 11-Jan-16 18:32:55

I was (infrequently) smacked as a child it was a different age. I've barely had even a shouty row as a teenager/adult. I have slapped a bloke round the face, once. No assaults, fights, nor threatening situations (directed at me - I've intervened in the odd one).

Katarzyna79 Mon 11-Jan-16 18:33:08

By accounts im.hearing here mine was a mild case i dont know how you ladies stayed sane

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