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Is it U to holiday without DC

(45 Posts)
Taylorswiftshair Mon 11-Jan-16 13:29:55

Not saying which party I am just yet and for bias sake wink

Is it U for a father and stepmum to go on a two week holiday each year without his DC. DC will be taken away for long weekend in UK later in the year.

DCs DM takes DC abroad each year for a week so they are still getting a 'proper' holiday.

Should Dad take DC or not?

Whatsinaname2011 Mon 11-Jan-16 13:32:02

Not unreasonable at all.

Me and DH are still married so no step parent issue and already looking forward to kids being old enough to stay with grandpa for a week so we get a break.

Parents are still human.

Birdsgottafly Mon 11-Jan-16 13:34:12

It's fine to holiday without your children.

I'd judge someone who has two week holidays with a Partner, but only a weekend away, though, tbh.

I did judge someone I met on holiday abroad, who was on their third abroad trip, with a new partner of only a year, but talked as though he was father of the year because he'd took his child away for the weekend to Haven.

I believe in a fair family balance of time and disposable income.

Taylorswiftshair Mon 11-Jan-16 13:35:21

Long weekend is to haven grin BUT DC love it there

BYOSnowman Mon 11-Jan-16 13:35:48

do any other kids go on the holiday (step mums or joint kids?)

i think it is unreasonable if it comes at the expense of spending time with the kids but if the dad wasn't going to have the kids that fortnight anyway I suppose it doesn't matter

i personally love going on holiday with my kids - it's when we have the best times as a family, but I know different people enjoy different things!

MTPurse Mon 11-Jan-16 13:36:16

Nope, Not unreasonable at all imo.

Scoopmuckdizzy Mon 11-Jan-16 13:36:29

Not unreasonable. My dad, stepmum and half sister used to holiday without me but As I was going with my mum and stepdad so it never occurred to me to care. Other kids didn't get two holidays.

DH and I have been away without any of our DC - it was bliss! They had their own holiday staying with grandparents.

8angle Mon 11-Jan-16 13:37:01

IMO it is fine (and healthy for a relationship) to holiday without the children, but not at the expense of a holiday with the children. Personally for us the long holidays are with children and the short breaks / weekends away are more likely to be just adults.

Taylorswiftshair Mon 11-Jan-16 13:38:29

No other DC involved. Holiday is long haul, tropical etc so not really child friendly.

Fourormore Mon 11-Jan-16 13:39:04

If you're the SM, you've not done a good job of hiding it!

I used to holiday without my DC when I was a lone parent. I needed to. My life was full on, I was struggling with depression and anxiety. A week away got me back on track and benefitted my children more than a stressful week away with me feeling unable to cope.

I wouldn't do it now I'm remarried though I don't think, or if I did I'd make sure I had an equal break with my children so a week without them and a week with them.

Would a two week holiday also mean that the DC didn't see their dad for three weeks, assuming EOW contact?

katienana Mon 11-Jan-16 13:41:22

OK as a one off but if it happened every year I think it is a shame for the dad to never take the kids on a bigger holiday. Also for the mum being the one to make sure they do get a holiday.

Kerberos Mon 11-Jan-16 13:42:45

I'm with four - fine to go away. But a two week holiday vs Haven for a weekend feels very wrong.

I'd probably make it so the two trips were more equal.

BYOSnowman Mon 11-Jan-16 13:43:15

how old are the kids? I can't think of many holidays that wouldn't be child friendly unless specifically booked

if you can afford to, i think it's sad not to let your children experience these things too tbh

is contact having to be rearranged to enable the 2 weeks to be taken off?

Taylorswiftshair Mon 11-Jan-16 13:44:39

grin not the SM! I'm the DM.

DS in particular upset that DF is going abroad without them again. DP pissed off that our abroad holiday is always with the DC and we can't have a child free holiday.

I'm slightly meh about the whole thing but wondering if I should be pissed off confused

MaidOfStars Mon 11-Jan-16 13:45:26

So Dad is taking new wife to the Maldives for two weeks and his children to Haven for a weekend?

That seems a little bit off for the kids.

Does it happen every year?

BYOSnowman Mon 11-Jan-16 13:45:31

how old are the kids?

MaidOfStars Mon 11-Jan-16 13:46:05

DP pissed off that our abroad holiday is always with the DC and we can't have a child free holiday
I can see his point.

Fourormore Mon 11-Jan-16 13:46:22

I don't think you should be upset but I can see where your DS and your DP are coming from. How old is DS? Is he able to tell Dad he's upset?

Tutt Mon 11-Jan-16 13:49:44

We as a couple go lfor 2 weeks onghaul every year and then have another week away just the 2 of us.
But we take the children longhaul and have a week in this country plus weekend with them every year.
I think it is very important to spend time with your partner alone/away when in any form of family it helps keep that strong bond and very important for us as we have both full-time.
My DS now has time at home where he invites all his friends to stay for 2/3 weeks and my DSS gets to spend time with his mother ( who dodges any child care unless we book to go away).

Taylorswiftshair Mon 11-Jan-16 13:50:47

DS11, DD 7.

Yes happens every year and yes it's the Maldives! Was Bali last year (are you SM?!)

We can't afford two separate 'proper' holidays so take DC on ours. I wouldn't want to holiday without them if I was only going once but of course would be nice to go child free.

BYOSnowman Mon 11-Jan-16 13:52:16

well imo he is missing out because holidays with kids are the best part of parenting!

I think the kids are old enough to tell him themselves though. at 11 i would have preferred the maldives to haven!!

Taylorswiftshair Mon 11-Jan-16 13:55:21

If DC went then Maldives wouldn't happen (too expensive)

BackforGood Mon 11-Jan-16 13:58:02

I think if it were a one off, then I'd have no problem with it, but, over time, it would seem fairer that one year the Dad takes the dc on the "abroad" holiday and the next year the Mum does, so each couple gets a turn at having the dc and also gets a turn at not having the dc.

maybebabybee Mon 11-Jan-16 13:58:31

U in my opinion as it means the DM gets all the expense of taking DC on holiday.

But when I was a kid we got a camping holiday with DF while his lady (OW) and him went on expensive trips abroad. Does make you feel second best as a kid.

TooSassy Mon 11-Jan-16 13:59:37

Hold on. To make sure I've got this straight.

He goes on exotic hols with his new partner
And he takes his kids for a long weekend to haven for the 'family' holiday?

Did I get that right??

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