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to hate the term 'passive aggressive' so much ?

(35 Posts)
mrsfuzzy Mon 11-Jan-16 13:11:38

frequently heard on mn, and it seems to be an 'in' expression, what expressions irritate you. do't be 'judgy' or 'entitled' either !smile

RonniePickering Mon 11-Jan-16 13:16:28

Whenever a name changer writes 'Pom Bear!' 'PenisBeaker!' 'Yoni!' 'Lemon Drizzle Cake!' to indicate they aren't a troll.

Not an expression, but it grates a little.

Writerwannabe83 Mon 11-Jan-16 13:29:49

"No is a complete sentence" (or something along those lines).

"Did you mean to be so rude?"

Both of them really grate on me grin

mrsfuzzy Mon 11-Jan-16 13:36:16

i think this thread might grate a few people tbh !

squoosh Mon 11-Jan-16 13:41:44

Lots of people in life are very passive aggressive though, so it's useful phrase. Perhaps people use it too much on MN I'm not sure.

TamaraLamara Mon 11-Jan-16 13:48:35

'Does he have any redeeming features? / Is he always this controlling?' anytime OP's DH does something inconsiderate / has a different viewpoint to OP.

It's laughable.

TamaraLamara Mon 11-Jan-16 13:55:40

"No is a complete sentence" (or something along those lines)

Yes, let's all just go around barking 'NO!' at friends, family, acquaintances and colleagues whenever they think things should/could be done differently. Definitely the route to a harmonious life grin

Half the time I think people just regurgitate phrases they recall from someone else without considering their deeper implications or unsuitability for the situation under discussion.

nextusername Mon 11-Jan-16 14:04:01

Those "I'm not a troll" platitudes could easily be copied by a troll so they're pretty pointless.

Arfarfanarf Mon 11-Jan-16 14:06:17

I think it's a perfectly fine term.
The problem is it is frequently used incorrectly!
It is irritating when people say something is pa when it clearly isn't.

But it's ok. It doesn't matter if you don't know what something means. Use it anyway. I'm not annoyed. I think it's great that you have the confidence to invent your own language rules.

Twitterqueen Mon 11-Jan-16 14:11:50

Whether you hate it or not is irrelevant really, OP. It is a long-established descriptive term for a specific kind of (very common) behaviour. You may not lile the way it is [mis]used but it's not an 'in' term - that would be like saying 'anxious' is 'in'.

Unfortunately there are many, many people who are unable to express their own feelings or viewpoints - and so this hidden anger or resentment manifests itself in other ways.

hownottofuckup Mon 11-Jan-16 14:14:11

It took me ages to work out what passive aggressive actually is, because so often on here it is used incorrectly. It completely befuddled me till I Googled it obvs

OllyBJolly Mon 11-Jan-16 14:23:51

Narcissistic, or worse, the handy abbreviation "narc".

Used to describe mums who don't drop everything for their grown up children.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Mon 11-Jan-16 14:29:25

I quite like passive aggressive.

I hate anything along the lines of-
<hands op a grip>

I've just been to the grip shop and have some spare, would you like one?

Have you dropped your grip, do you need help finding it?

Or any of the seemingly endless 'funny' get a grip sentences.

That was quite cathartic, thanks op grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mon 11-Jan-16 14:34:19

Anyone who says stuff like - "If you don't think 'x' or feel 'y' then you must be a 'z' kind of person".

Such arrogance to think they can know and determine who a person is! grin

mrsfuzzy Mon 11-Jan-16 14:47:30

you're welcome elsa !

CaptainCrunch Mon 11-Jan-16 14:55:45

People use the term passive aggressive on here to describe any interaction where someone has tried their best to be diplomatic and tactful, apparently some people seem to want a stand up barney to resolve any given issue. Like they go around doing that in rl smile

squoosh Mon 11-Jan-16 15:03:19

But to be fair that's the trouble with the written word. From one person a sentence can read as being diplomatic but from another person that same sentence might come across as pass agg.

CakeFail Mon 11-Jan-16 15:09:01

Whether you hate it or not is irrelevant really, OP. It is a long-established descriptive term for a specific kind of (very common) behaviour. You may not lile the way it is [mis]used but it's not an 'in' term - that would be like saying 'anxious' is 'in'.

^^this - sorry OP! I can't get on board with hating 'passive aggressive'. It's a perfectly sensible description of some people's behaviour.

There's a lot of stuff on here which irritates the hell out of me though. The worst for me is "you should be grateful you have a [insert name of relative / friend / pet here]". It's a lazy and nasty argument some people like to wheel out on here and it makes me angry. Occasionally it's relevant but often not.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Mon 11-Jan-16 15:11:48

I'm not passive aggressive. But I could be. Just sayin'.

goodnightdarthvader1 Mon 11-Jan-16 15:14:36

YABU. I frequently see posters on here being PA and will call them out on it. It's as bad as people who are joke and then say "It was just a joke, god, you've got no sense of humour!"

If you're going to be rude / an ass, and you get called out on it, as least have the decency to admit to it, not blub "You took it the wrong way!"

OTheHugeManatee Mon 11-Jan-16 15:14:42

I really dislike 'I'm going NC with X'. What's wrong with 'I've stopped talking to X'?

Birdsgottafly Mon 11-Jan-16 17:16:33

"I really dislike 'I'm going NC with X'. What's wrong with 'I've stopped talking to X'?""

Because there's a difference between stopping speaking to someone and going NC (which applies to their and your children) with a family member that lives in the same city as you.

bumbleymummy Mon 11-Jan-16 17:23:21

Only when it's used about these -> smile sometimes they are just genuine, friendly smiles!!!

LurkingHusband Mon 11-Jan-16 17:24:51

"No is a complete sentence"

I had never encountered this before MN, and am eternally grateful having found it. I haven't had occasion to use it, and hope I never do. However, it's a powerful reminder that when saying "no" there is no obligation to give any more information.

A point frequently underscored by the posts where someone says "no" and is coerced into explaining their reasons which are then forensically examined for truth by the other party in a manner which can only be described as bullying.

So this phrase is an antidote to the natural urge to politeness we all have which can be exploited by some.

OTheHugeManatee Mon 11-Jan-16 17:43:38

Birds - I'm still not seeing it confused Surely then that's just stopping talking to X and stopping the kids seeing X's kids?

Granted, if that's what that means, 'going NC' has the advantage of brevity. But the phrase just grates. It's so pompous somehow.

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