AIBU to be annoyed at emails addressed to Sir

[mshomefries]

I monitor a mailbox in work that's used to deal with enquiries from the general public.

Quite a few emails are addressed Dear sir or dear sirs and it bugs me every time!

It happens so often. Does anyone else get this and does it annoy you, or AIBU?

[OurBlanche]

Well.... Dear Sirs is just letter writing etiquette, if you don't know the name of the person you are writing to.

What would you like them to start with

Oi, You

Dear Sir/Madam - but Madam always causes problems too

Morning Buggerlugs?

What?

[StringTheory]

Yes! Me! I actually feel like ignoring any emails/letters that are addressed "Dear sirs". We are a company with is mainly female and anybody wanting to contact us would clearly see that if they looked on our website.

In 2016 it is not acceptable to start correspondence with "Dear sirs".

[Buttercup27]

morning buggerlugs is brilliant, I am going to have to fit that somewhere into my vocab (after I stop laughing )!

[OurBlanche]

So what do you want it to start with?

[StringTheory]

Ourblanche -how about "Dear Sir/Madam" or "Who it may concern" or just dont be lazy, do some research and find out who you should be addressing the email/letter to.

[OurBlanche]

Sorry Buttercup! It is a family greeting

[mshomefries]

I'd prefer sir/madam, that would be acceptable to me

[OurBlanche]

String, finding that out is impossible sometimes. Many companies seem to actively hide this information, usually to save one person being inundated. That is why most companies have a service / info@ email address

Madam comes with its own chorus of disapproval.

Dear Sirs is what kids are taught, has been for donkeys years. It is outmoded, but not yet replaced.

Suggest something that is universally acceptable and I am sure it will catch on.

[mshomefries]

To be fair if they haven't emailed before they wouldn't know who to address the email to.

[DropYourSword]

I was told NEVER to use Sir/Madam. Apparently it seems to imply that the reader is unable to decide which they are . I definitely remember being advised just to use Sir if you didn't know who to address an email/letter to.

[OurBlanche]

So that 2 votes for Morning Buggerlugs then?

[mshomefries]

Huh I've never heard that before dropyoursword!

I remember being taught dear sir/madam (approx 15 years ago) but maybe that was the teacher's preference!

[cosytoaster]

I was taught to use Sir/Madam and have used this for many years without complaint.

I'd be happy to go with Buggerlugs though!

[mshomefries]

Buggerlugs? May be preferable to sir

[OurBlanche]

Dare you....

[StringTheory]

Ourblanche - "Suggest something that is universally acceptable and I am sure it will catch on."

I did - "To whom it may concern"

[OurBlanche]

Oh, Sir/Madam is on the curriculum, not a teacher's preference.

So we need to write to the exam boards,

Dear Buggerlugs....

[Amazemedontbeacunt]

My company name is my (female) name and my email address is [email protected] and I still get emails starting dear sir or dear sirs .

[Leelu6]

YANBU. Dear Sirs was fine back in the day nut not anymore. 'Dear' is too formal for emails anyway. What's wrong with 'Hello'?

[OurBlanche]

That is poor Amaze.

I have myname@mynamecompany and info@mynamecompany

I get Dear MyName at both... but some callers aren't sure of MyName is male or female, so I too get Dear Sirs

[wonkylegs]

I get dear sirs or Mr Wonkylegs all the time even though my company is me and it's clear it's just me and I have a clearly female name. It's annoying because I seem to get it sometimes even when they have met me, I work in a male dominated industry though so the assumption is that I'm a man or the bosses secretary.

[mypoosmellsofroses]

If I'm unsure who I am addressing an email to, I tend to plump for Good Morning/Afternoon as the salutation. I get lots of email addressed to Sir/Sirs and tbh it doesn't bother me, I just see it as a formal address for business email.

[OurBlanche]

I used to work in the pre-press industry, really male oriented. I used to get calls from regular customers in Morocco, India etc... Ah, Mr Blanche... they would say, even after having met me.

Mr is/was simply an honorific, carried no gender, it just meant "Person who is above me on this matter"

I may have become desensitised to it

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

"To whom it may concern" is very formal.

"Dear sirs", is correct for if you don't know. "Sir/Madam" is allowable, but considered poor etiquette.

I have a very female name, and still get "Dear Sir" - presumably because I work in quite a male industry. It doesn't bother me, really. As Blanche says, it's a historic show of respect.

"Dear Buggerlugs" would make my day.

[KatharinaRosalie]

'Dear Sirs' is like 'Mrs John Smith'. Yes, some etiquette books might still say it's correct, but as it irritates so many people, I personally wouldn't use it. And yes it would irritate me as well, to get an email that assumes you couldn't be possibly writing to a woman. Or that I should be honoured that they have elevated my status to a male level by addressing me as 'sir'.
(Debrett's says: 'Dear Sir/Madam', by the way)