Lighthearted, sort of, Juice plus shite.

[babarthefuckingelephant]

I get it, you couldn't get a grad job, you like pyjamas, coffee and have more belief in yourself than most people that are as successful as you're pretending to be.
I don't want to be in your jeffing team! I get that you are looking for two motivated individuals for a fantastic opportunity like you were yesterday and the day before that you can rip off to sit on your ass and feed your ego.
There are so many pretending to be so successful but you have real friends that actually see you in real life outside gregs wondering if you can afford two pasties.
Stop exploiting your friends, we liked you better as you!