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narcissistic is just an adjective

(23 Posts)
Blue14 Sun 10-Jan-16 22:06:45

It isn't a medical condition. Narcissistic personality disorder is rare condition, diagnosable only by a physician.

Its fine to describe someone as narcissistic, if you are just saying that in your opinion they are attention seeking and ego centric. However the way the word is used on mn sometimes, it is as if some people think they automatically win an argument by labelling their mother/ partner/ sister/ friend narcissistic,

You are not able to state that a person actually has something pathologically wrong with them, rather than just saying "I don't like this person very much" , in many cases a fr more objective description of the situation.

goodnightdarthvader1 Sun 10-Jan-16 22:13:58

How about "This person that I have experience of and you don't is an asshole", that objective enough?


stopfuckingshoutingatme Sun 10-Jan-16 22:16:13

It's a very helpful label ! I know what you mean though - we tend to over egg the pudding sometimes on MN

Blue14 Sun 10-Jan-16 22:32:33

not just MN, in RL too! and the other word I've used to shut down somebody else in RL is "autistic". It just really upsets me to hear this being used as a put down to show superiority over someone. My cousin used it over Christmas about her husband. Well, maybe things are not great between them, maybe he's in the wrong, I don't know, but I do know he aint autisitc!

rosewithoutthorns Sun 10-Jan-16 22:36:30

They are just new words OP, other words were used before to do exactly the same.

rosewithoutthorns Sun 10-Jan-16 22:37:57

There's a very fashionable one around at the moment..... Filter grin

Someone that speaks before mulling it over apparently has no "Filter"

stopfuckingshoutingatme Sun 10-Jan-16 22:40:31

I like 'sociopath' a lot !

suchafuss Sun 10-Jan-16 22:40:42

I think unfortunatley that many of us have been affected quite badly by narcissists. By their very nature they are unfaithful, hurting many people in the process. I know a narcissist, i have lived with one, been financially abused by one, had my self respect and confidence shredded by one and ended up with PTSD. If I think anyone shows signs of being a narcissist we have a duty to others to warn them

Blue14 Sun 10-Jan-16 22:41:45

roewithoutthorns, yes, I'm sure you are right, I hadn't thought about it like that.

hownottofuckup Sun 10-Jan-16 22:42:50

Ha! You're on a roll Blue wink
(Not stalking you, just happened to be the next thread I clicked on. You are my new Yoda)

rosewithoutthorns Sun 10-Jan-16 22:42:59

Narc = Love themselves, selfish bastard
Sociopath = two faced bastard

Blue14 Sun 10-Jan-16 22:43:27

stopfucking, thats another one. I am closely involved with a (diagnosed) psycopath and when I hear the labels sociopath and psychopath thrown around meaning " someone I dislike" I just want to scream!

Blue14 Sun 10-Jan-16 22:44:45

not for long, hownotto - I'm off to sleep in a moment! I've been bedbound all weekend, and mumsnet has helped quite a lot - I normally just lurk.

FlatOnTheHill Sun 10-Jan-16 22:46:51

Yabu. This disorder is not rare at all. Are you one?

suchafuss Sun 10-Jan-16 22:47:56

gringrin flatonthe

hownottofuckup Sun 10-Jan-16 22:48:00

Hope you lurk less in the future smile
I think I agree with you on this thread BTW, not sure about the water one but I like the sound of it!

donajimena Sun 10-Jan-16 22:50:15

Yabu. I just mentioned it on another thread. Around the time you started this one. I don't say it as much as I would like to! grin

hownottofuckup Sun 10-Jan-16 22:50:33

I think it is quite rare, just people get NPD and selfish cunt or even, actually I have different priorities from you, confused.
Which is fair enough. Selfish cunts are pretty hard to live with.

donajimena Sun 10-Jan-16 22:59:56

Its not very often you get people posting on internet forums to tell you how lovely their mum/partner/sil is.
Usually there is a whole heap of shit going on and by the gazillionth post from the OP about the behaviour of a significant person in their life if you have been through similar it can be helpful to perhaps mention it.
I do see it bandied around quite often though and I think 'that's not narcissistic' and it does irk me somewhat.
Ive probably only used it twice in all my time on MN and I did go through the worst case of narcissistic abuse possible.

Blue14 Sun 10-Jan-16 23:04:13

Thankyou hownotto! goodnight, going to sleep now.

rosewithoutthorns Sun 10-Jan-16 23:06:36

Labelling is a very dangerous thing to do unless you are actually a psychotherapist, even then.

Monstertrucker Mon 11-Jan-16 06:45:45

I know someone who, in my mind, has narcissistic tendencies. I've never in RL said that to anyone as I'm self aware enough to know this is just my opinion but personally I find using this label just for myself helps me enormously when I have to deal with them. I suspect many people do this in forums. I think just simply using the term can be a form of therapy and release from everyday issues. And isn't that basically what a forum can be used for?

maggiethemagpie Mon 11-Jan-16 20:12:25

Narcissism is a spectrum. My boss is narcissistic (reckons my therapist, who is qualified to pass comment!) but I doubt she has a personality disorder. She does act in narcissistic ways from time to time, for example she will withhold information to feel special, that kind of thing. She can't be wrong - her ego can't take it. I spend a lot of time at work upwards managing, thinking how to do things without damaging her ego. It should be part of my job description!

I'd imagine she is completely unconscious of all of this, but because I am having therapy I chat it all out with my therapist which helps me to be aware of my reaction so that I can manage the relationship better.

So for me it's been a useful descriptor.

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