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WIBU to make a dinnertime app

(11 Posts)
Tirfarthoin Sun 10-Jan-16 19:23:23

It will play phrases at random throughout dinnertime - I will prop the phone against the flowerpot and press play so that I can go to a darkened room and massage my temples.

"sit still"
"elbows off the table"
"please finish what is in your mouth before putting more food in"
"how can I teach the children manners if you go and do things like that?"
"do not talk with your mouth full"
"sit down!"
"Just three more mouthfuls"
"there is no pudding"

I am already thinking there could be a driving one too

"Stop poking your brother"
"Stop kicking the seat in front"
"left, left, I said left!"
"I meant my left"
and on and on and on..I will just pop in my headphones and listen to something calming.

The updates and in app purchases could make my million and I need it since I didn't win last nights lotto.

Penfold007 Sun 10-Jan-16 19:27:18

You've just described the Penfold household. My H seems pathologically unable to not speak with a mouth full of food and doesn't know his left from his right grrrrrrr!!!!!!!!! I'll buy your app.

Hiddlesnake Sun 10-Jan-16 19:29:22

This would be a godsend in the Snake household.

Tirfarthoin Sun 10-Jan-16 19:33:18

Don't worry they won't even notice that you aren't in the room. But you will need to be able to remotely change it to

"put the dishes in the dishwasher not on the side"
"no not that one its not dishwasher safe"

StellaAlpina Sun 10-Jan-16 21:00:31

See I thought this would be an app that told everyone when dinner was ready so you did have to go get them/shout up the stairs at them.

Slight flaw - what about 'no phones at the dinner table?' I say that a lot to dh grin

OvertiredandConfused Sun 10-Jan-16 21:54:07

"Please try to keep the food on your plate"
"Sit on the chair properly, not side saddle"
"Yes, you do like it"
"No, there isn't anything else"
"If you've finished your drink already, there's water in the tap"
"Your sleeve is not a napkin"

Tirfarthoin Sun 10-Jan-16 22:15:42

Use your fork not your fingers

Yy to "no phones at the table" and, ah, I see the fatal flaw to the scheme grin

bexcee8 Sun 10-Jan-16 22:19:32

To solve the 'gathering everyone to the table without shouting' issue I've put wireless doorbells in the children's bedroom with the buzzer in the kitchen. I press the bells as I'm serving up dinner and the children appear smile

SavoyCabbage Sun 10-Jan-16 22:22:23

Please can you also make a morning one.

I said put your shoes on.
It will be where you left it!
Have you got your swimming bag
We are late now.

Tirfarthoin Sun 10-Jan-16 22:27:12

Bex we actually have an intercom but I worried that made us sound posh grin

See now Savoy now we are going into in app purchases. I was thinking a bath and bed time special-

Keep the water in the bath
Do not suck the sponge
Why are you drinking the bath water?

And for a little extra ££ we will provide bed time stories

DrFoxtrot Sun 10-Jan-16 22:50:48

'Don't touch each other' - the 'mummy, he's touched me' drives me crackers, they just wind each other up.

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