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To wish he would jusy fucking THINK

(54 Posts)
PennyHasNoSurname Sun 10-Jan-16 00:14:25

When I work a Late I dont get in til midnight. Because we live in a small flat, and DS is still in with us, I put a set of pjs for myself in the living room so I can shower/bath and prep for bed in the living rokm and just sneak into bed.

Ive come in tonight and DH has left thw buggy up in the (skinny) hallway so ive walked straight into it in the dark. I cant turn on the light as it will wake DD whose room is at the end of the hall.

Ive then come into the Living room to find my pjs have been tidied away. So ive been into the bedroom to get a set, waking ds again. Bath running so I quickly resettle him.

It is boiling in the bedroom as both radiators are on - this this morning DH amd I had a conversation about how DS sleeps better when the room is cool so we should turn the radiators off teatime in there as it will then cool down for him. Ive turned the radiator off but its like a bloody oven in there.

Am properly annoyed so ive jumped into the bath and left DH to resettle DS. It is my "lie in" tomorrow and whoever gets the lie in deals with any through the night wakes so its my "turn" but ffs man if he just thought about things DS would even have woke !

AntiHop Sun 10-Jan-16 01:10:36

Yanbu. Sounds like he's been very thoughtless. That would get on my nerves too as it the things you said are not ticket science. Hope you get some sleep.

itsmeagain1 Sun 10-Jan-16 01:13:45

Why would turning on the light in the hall wake your DD? Do you leave her door wide open? Then close it after she is asleep..
And why do you need a bath after work, couldn't you wait until morning - just slip into bed in your underwear if that would make things easier for everyone?

Blu Sun 10-Jan-16 01:14:58

Yes, thoughtless, but given the choice between wearing pyjamas and waking a sleeping child I would go without the pyjamas !

PennyHasNoSurname Sun 10-Jan-16 01:19:14

I cant just slip into bed. Its quite a physical job so I like to shower or bath after it, and it takes a little time to wind down so a bath helps with that.

DDs door is always closed, not that I could then close it once she is asleep as I am at work, but the light shines in through the bottom and whilst sometimes she is in a deep enough sleep to not wake from it, that isnt a guarantee so I try and just creep in in the dark. Never a problem til the buggy tonight.

knobblyknee Sun 10-Jan-16 01:36:30

Can you put a plug in night light in the hall, or a door strip to keep the light out of her room??

Youre tired, dont tackle him until you've had a good nights sleep. brew

Mmmmcake123 Sun 10-Jan-16 01:44:04

I find this kind of thing extremely irritating too.
You have to remember tho that he probably had a busy evening too, and if they were your mistakes, would you feel so mad?
Feel your annoyance xx

Shutthatdoor Sun 10-Jan-16 01:48:37

Maybe he has had a tough evening with DC?

AnyFucker Sun 10-Jan-16 01:51:25

I think yabu, actually

TheHouseOnTheLane Sun 10-Jan-16 01:57:53

I also think YABU. I'd have just not put anything on for bed. He did tidy up...does he work too? Maybe he was tired.

Bogeyface Sun 10-Jan-16 02:01:08

"I'm alright Jack, pull the ladder away"

This boils my piss because its like setting you up to fail. Leaving the buggy up when he presumably has to walk past it to get to bed, leaving the radiators on despite having a conversation that very day, tidying your PJs away when he knows you left them there on purpose (I cant sleep naked either) all seems to be bloody thoughtless at best and downright passive aggressive done-on-purpose at worst.

One mistake/forgetful moment is fine, we all do that. But all three in one evening? I dont buy that, he just didnt give a toss!

PennyHasNoSurname Sun 10-Jan-16 02:04:27

A nightlight is a really good idea, I will pick one up. The pjs thing annoyed me as I had specifically arranged them, as I always do, to be available with no fuss after my shift. I cant sleep naked, I like wearing pyjamas which is why I made a point of prepping them before I went to bed.

Dh didnt have a difficult evening, kids go to bed at half six and we had a little text natter about ten and all was quiet.

Yes, I do feel a little "set up to fail".

Bogeyface Sun 10-Jan-16 02:04:48

He did tidy up...does he work too?

What has him working got to do with him tidying up?! Or having a functioning brain that says "Better leave these here as DW needs them later".

I cant help feeling that if the OP had posted from the DHs POV then she would have been flamed for being so thoughtless and selfish, because after all, he had been at work and she should have made it as easy as possible for him when he got home.

The 1950's are alive and well on MN hmm

PennyHasNoSurname Sun 10-Jan-16 02:05:51

He does work. Monday to friday office hours. Today was his lie in day, so I was up and out with the kids all.morning, he had the morning off duty til I got back at 12.

PennyHasNoSurname Sun 10-Jan-16 02:06:54

"made a point of prepping them before I went to work "

PennyHasNoSurname Sun 10-Jan-16 02:07:52

AnyFucker any expansion on why you think that?

knobblyknee Sun 10-Jan-16 03:39:56

I've seen plug in nightlights in Poundland if thats any help, and those door strip things as well smile

We use one as DIL works nights and comes in at odd hours. And we have Economy 7 so it runs on that.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sun 10-Jan-16 04:13:47

Well that will be an interesting conversation in the morning, I think!
Yes, YANBU, he could have thought about it a bit more.

mathanxiety Sun 10-Jan-16 04:25:56

Hide your PJs in the bathroom next time? Nightlight is a good idea. But the radiators business is an example of in one ear and out the other so maybe have a word again. Children overheating isn't a good idea.

MistressDeeCee Sun 10-Jan-16 04:38:44

Agree with Bogeyface . & whats with all the minimising? Family households simply don't work well when 1 person is thoughtless re the basics and sorry, the things mentioned are basic in terms of knowing your partner's routine and what works best for children too. Leaving buggy in hallway for OP to crash into? Boiling hot radiator in DCs bedroom? Id be annoyed from the get go. What does him working and being tired have to do with it, women work and get tired and have to take care of children too, don't they?!

Just have a word with him when you've calmed down OP, remind him of what works and what doesn't

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks Sun 10-Jan-16 09:15:30

YANBU. Thoughtlessness can become pretty corrosive, and it's the little things that build up and can make or break relationships in my experience.

DoreenLethal Sun 10-Jan-16 09:32:29

Heating; do you not have a timer that switches it off at a certain time?

Buggy - not thinking, possibly deliberately obstructive knowing that you will be coming through that door later in the dark.

PJs - 'oh I thought you liked it when I tidy up, make your mind up' deliberately obstructive and antagonistic.

DoreenLethal Sun 10-Jan-16 09:34:05

Do you leave her door wide open? Then close it after she is asleep..

How could the OP get to the door to close it when there was a buggy in the way and she needed a light to get past that. Unless the OP has incredibly long arms of course. Think Mr Tickle.

Christinayangstwistedsista Sun 10-Jan-16 09:39:05

Do you really need to run a bath? Why don't you leave a night light on and put your PJs in bathroom?

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Sun 10-Jan-16 09:43:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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