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AIBU?

to have let DS (5) spend all day on the x-box (also most of the Xmas holidays)

96 replies

FatArsedSofaSloth · 09/01/2016 15:43

I get quite worried that it may affect his eyesight/brain.

He doesn't want to go out on his new bike and I can't be arsed to make him, it's wet and grey and he will whinge, pretend he can't pedal and we will give up after 5 mins anyway.

I have set up painting and he painted a rainbow which took precisely 2 minutes so now have all the paint to clear away for nothing!

I can't stand taking him to softplay paying for over priced warm mochas for me and slushies that give him brain freeze, and the other DC are 'rude' to him and hit him anyway. I did my duty last week.

He is snotty so swimming is out and I am so fat, I can't risk it for fear of being harpooned.

If he had friends over, he would only want to play on the x-box, ipad anyway, cue disapproving looks from the other parent.

We have done the library already this week after school.

He has been on there on and off since 8am , DH let him on it before he went to work . It's all he talks of from the time he gets up.

He is quite happy when on it although gets a bit red faced through to the stress of being eaten.

Other (teenage) DC have been on their phones/fighting with little DS for x-box/raiding the fridge all day.

Feel like a shit parent. Obviously when spring comes we will be out and about more on weekends.

Am I BU to leave him in peace (making him run on the spot occasionally) until then?

OP posts:

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hannibalismisunderstood · 09/01/2016 15:48

What games is he playing? Could you get any exercise based ones or educational games to make it feel less 'gamey'?

notenoughbottle · 09/01/2016 15:49

I don't think it's healthy for them to be on it all day tbh but sometimes in certain circumstances I don't think it will hurt. My two have been on and off laptop and PS3 all week as my youngest has been very ill and had glued herself to me 24/7 since Monday. Is he going to be on it all day tommorow too? Unfortunately things have changed since we were children. I sometimes wish they'd never invented all this stuff!

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 15:49

I don't think it's a problem but you'll get others who insist it's the worst thing

Sirzy · 09/01/2016 15:51

I am normally an advocate of letting children self regulate gaming things for themslves, but if he is regularly spending the whole day doing the same activity, especially a screen based one, then I would be encouraging (or insisting) on something else for at least part of the day

fortyfourfeasts · 09/01/2016 15:51

Could you go and visit someone? Family/friend? Perhaps go shopping, a quick 'mission'?! I know what you mean about the weather and feeling less like going out, but I would feel uncomfortable with ds on his Xbox that long, every day. Board game? Snap?!

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/01/2016 15:53

He needs breaks. 8 hours solid gaming isn't healthy.

HermioneJeanGranger · 09/01/2016 15:54

I think as a one off, it wouldn't be an issue, but not when he's been on it during all of the school holidays as well. It's not good for his eyesight or his development.

Can you not do other things with him? Baking, board games, lego? You don't have to go out, especially when the weather is this miserable, but I think letting him sit on the xbox all day because it's easier for you is lazy parenting, sorry.

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief · 09/01/2016 15:55

I don't think that much gaming is doing him any favours.
It's actually very addictive and he's so young.
I'd try limiting him. Negotiate some rules around it with him.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/01/2016 15:55

I felt shit letting ds use his all morning during the holidays. Forced myself to take him out even though it was rank outside and I had a stinking cold.

One day isn't a problem. If it's a daily occurence then maybe a bit problematic. My main concern about your post isn't your son playing a lot of Xbox, it's his determination not to do anything else. Perhaps just have a few days without it completely.

SuperCee7 · 09/01/2016 15:57

Too long for a 5 year old I think, although I deffo have days where I know my LO has had too much screen time but if it's quite irriregular I wouldn't worry too much.

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 09/01/2016 15:58

I used to run out of shit to do with my ds when he was this age

we used to sit under a blanket on the sofa and snooze watch an educational dvd Shrek

mind you he was an only at the time and I never could be arsed to do housework, so this suited both of us pretty well

screens drive me LOOPY barely anyone in this house can self regulate

myotherusernameisbetter · 09/01/2016 15:58

Just tell him to get off it - he can draw, read a book, play with other toys. I don't think the odd day when its wet and miserable is the end of the world, but I even make my teens do something else in the middle of the day for a bit to have a break.

Griphook · 09/01/2016 15:58

My ds 5 loves the x box he also gets very stressed by it (red faced) I really think you need to limit the time he spends on it. He'd be better watching something less stressful on the tv. Does he play with Lego? Can the Xbox not be a timed thing instead of all day.

ShowMeTheWonder · 09/01/2016 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rookiemere · 09/01/2016 16:06

Sorry I'm generally pretty relaxed about screen time for DS9, but all day is too much unless it's an exception rather than a rule.

Xbox with friends is different. I found that when DS has a pal over they might play on the screen for a while heck what do I mean by might they will but eventually they get bored and do something else. Besides which I think it's a different dynamic if they have a friend with them, sure they're on the screen but they're having to work together. DS is building parcour (??) on minecraft atm using xbox live with his pals. They're doing it together and it seems fairly innocuous so I'm happy with that. Besides I already took him sledging for half an hour earlier so duty is done !

We tend to drag DS out once a day to do something regardless of the weather - cycling, a walk, sledging a swim. Generally he moans unless it's something he enjoys, but once he's out he is fine.

Could you bribe one of the teens to do an activity with him?

fuzzpig · 09/01/2016 16:08

I think the odd day like that is fine (and can be good, sometimes you just need to zone out!) but it can very easily spiral to lots of 'odd days' and becomes an addiction

Stillunexpected · 09/01/2016 16:11

You have teenagers - can't some of them take him swimming, to the park, painting? Or play some board games with him. You are worried about him spending so much time on the X-Box, you know it's not good for him but you don't seem to be prepared to do anything about it? Of course, painting is only going to take 2 mins if you don't engage in it with him.

Does he do anything outside of school - football, swimming, any other activities?

manicinsomniac · 09/01/2016 16:12

Personally, I wouldn't.

But it's up to you - he's safe, fed and happy so anything else is your choice, imo.

coffeeisnectar · 09/01/2016 16:12

Get some large empty cardboard boxes. Tell him to make something with them. I've yet to find a child who doesn't like boxes.

HormonalHeap · 09/01/2016 16:13

My ds was the same. It escalated and now he's 15, has no friends as the Xbox takes the place of relationships and well, everything in fact, and he's on course to fail all his GCSEs this year, despite being a fairly bright kid.

Take it away whilst you can.

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief · 09/01/2016 16:19

That's really sad Hormonal.
It's an addiction. Can't you get any help?

Throwingshade · 09/01/2016 16:21

No I don't think it's ok at 5 years old!! That's way too much. I'd worry too.

I turf my two teenage sons of X Box after two hours on the weekends.

And I don't worry about their development as they didn't have any consoles till year 6 and rarely went on screens.

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trashcanjunkie · 09/01/2016 16:23

Wasn't there some research showing it basically overstimulates their pleasure centres and means they see off screen life as grey and slightly joyless? One of mine is a total sloth and would happily lie about on his iPad all day, so I do have a no screen time section of the day. He really struggled at first, lay around staring into space being bored, but it was good for him as he then picked himself up and found stuff to do himself. Any whinging at me about going back on means I threaten to extend the period. Worked a treat. That was years ago when I first got the iPads. It's just the norm now.

Throwingshade · 09/01/2016 16:23

Also you sound as if it's somehow out of your hands, as if there is nothing you can do? Turn it off, unplug it, put it away. You might have hours or even days of withrawal tantrum but he'll find stuff to do. Read with him, play a game.

ilovesooty · 09/01/2016 16:25

I'd be a bit concerned if he's focused on it from when he gets up, as you said in your first post.

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