First Day AIBU?(5 Posts)
I need to know if IABU in my reaction when collecting DD from her first day at nursery.
We had three settle sessions (one I left) and a happy environment but quite 'classroomy'. DD went for a full 8 hours today. When I picked her up I could hear her crying and calling for me soon as I drove in, as she and some other children were in a gated area outside, with one worker. DD was rattling the gate to get out. The worker was talking to another mum. I picked up DD who was now sobbing, with tears. The worker seemed unfazed by DD's upset, said that DD had only been like it whilst other parents had been collecting children ie in the last half hour or so. I was a bit that she was not acknowledging DD who was clearly distressed, although understand her attention was on the other mum and their conversation.
I didn't really know what to say as DD just wanted to go. Apparently DD was fine all day and once in the car was telling me about her day etc and things she had painted; perfectly happy but clingy.
AIBU that this has been bothering me all evening though? Is this normal? Am I just being pfb (even though she is second! ) The lack of empathy/concern just felt a bit 'off' but I don't know how to verbalise it. I've never seen DD so upset although it didn't last long once I arrived and obviously I can't know what she was like all day previously. Picking her up was like my worst nightmare come true!
DD's trousers were also wet to the knee as she was outside in puddles in her trainers when I collected her, even though I left wellies. It just felt, at that time, that she was a bit uncared for, but my opinion is obviously swayed by heightened awareness of every little thing about DD! We are in North East so wellies pretty much mandatory at the moment!
So as not to drop feed, DD is 3.2 and has been in childcare before, although not a nursery. She is very sociable and outgoing.
Don't dwell on it. She was happy all day. They were not concerned at all about her. She got tearful when other mummies were arriving and she was tired. She's happy now.
Agree with Inky. She was probably tired. See how it goes.
I'm of the Benign Neglect School of Parenting but I would be rabidly unhappy about DS being left in such distress.
When he was at nursery it was quite common to have to wait to speak to his room leader at pick up while they dealt with the children in their care. I would also be a bit at the mother who was talking to the worker while a child sobbed away at the fence TBH.
The wellies would also incense me as I had supplied them and they were clearly needed.
OTOH I would try and rationalise it as first day niggles and see how thing panned out over the next couple of weeks, though I wouldn't hesitate to speak to the nursery in the future if I was unhappy.
No I wouldn't be happy either and I'm pretty laid back in general. I'd pop into the nursery manager/room leader next time you go in and just explain that while you understand staff have to speak to other parents at pick up, you do not feel it's acceptable to leave your DD sobbing especially when it's her first day.
She's still little, she needed reassurance that you would be coming to get her soon and the nursery staff should have provided that.
When you drop her off I'd just mention to the staff that you've put wellies in her bag so could they make sure she has them on if they go outside. Sometimes things like that may get overlooked when there's so many children to look after.
Anyway, YANBU and a good nursery should not mind discussing any concerns you have
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