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AIBU?

To not understand this Mum's reaction?

63 replies

Talcott2007 · 08/01/2016 18:29

During my commute this morning I saw (it assume) a mum with her DS no more than 5yrs old on the opposite platform. She was charging along holding his hand and he was practically running to keep up with her. She skirts around one of the metal posts that hold up the roof in the station and essentially drags this little boy straight into it! He smacks his head off it with such a force I heard the bang from where I was standing and he was obviously hurt and shocked - immediately clutching his head and sobbing. (Fortunately someone form the station was there really fast as started offing 1st aid etc) Horrible accident right?

What I can't get over though is the Mum's reaction - she starts screaming at him "why the hell don't you look where you're going?!?" "Oh my God your so stupid!!" Etc.
Apart from the fact that it was actually 100% her fault that he hit his head surely the first reaction should be to make sure he was ok or comfort him, not just to start screaming at him and blaming him? Am I missing something? This can't be considered a normal response to a child being injured?

OP posts:

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YellowBellyBear · 08/01/2016 18:30

Poor, poor child. No, definitely not a normal reaction.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 18:31

Of course it's not normal.

She's either a) an abusive or terrible mother, or b) was having a really really bad terrible day and took it out on her child (which isn't cool, but my mother used to have meltdowns all the time so I'm used to behaviour like this).

BlueSmarties76 · 08/01/2016 18:31

No, not a normal response.... But perhaps her DC had been behaving stupidly all morning and doing lots of careless things, therefore she was stressed and dragging him around and didn't notice it was her fault?

PingpongDingDong · 08/01/2016 18:34

How awful. I don't know what else to say really. Poor kid.

mommy2ash · 08/01/2016 18:47

The same happened my sister with my little girl when she was younger and she did shout at my dd. she was shocked and embarrassed and reacted without thinking. We laugh about it now and it's definitely a normal reaction for her

Esmeismyhero · 08/01/2016 18:48

No, even when I've been in a hurry running along with dd and ds under 5 I would never react like that.

If I had seen it I would of called the police.

Esmeismyhero · 08/01/2016 18:50

Just to add if she has no qualms of acting like that in public, imagine what she does behind closed doors.

Alicewasinwonderland · 08/01/2016 18:52

It's a bit harsh to call her an abusive mother. I don't know why she was like that, but people get stressed, exhausted, depressed and don't always react in a perfect way.

Of course, she shouldn't have told him off, poor little boy, but she might not even have realised what really happened. We are very quick to judge in this country, but there is no support for parents who are struggling (I don't mean financially)

I feel sorry for both

superram · 08/01/2016 18:53

Esme not sure how wasting police time would have helped in this situation as although unpleasant, accidentally knocking a child then shouting is not illegal. Perhaps asking if he was ok would be more helpful. The op was on the opposite platform and couldn't I assume holler across the tracks. Awful situation but perhaps her shouting was a poor reaction to the shock.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 08/01/2016 18:59

Esme you'd have called the police , and said what?

Talcott2007 · 08/01/2016 19:02

I wish I had done something Esmeismyhero! I guess I was just so shocked at the outburst I kind of froze and as someone from the station got involved quickly then my train arrived I didn't really see how it resolved either. Probably just being all hormonal but I haven't stopped thinking about it all day!

OP posts:

Alisvolatpropiis · 08/01/2016 19:04

Her reaction is a bit shocking to be honest.

Maybe she's a crap mum, maybe something had happened which meant she was both stressed and rushing?

I think calling the police is ott, not least because they wouldn't do anything. She didn't deliberately drag her child in to the post, it was an accident.

Idefix · 08/01/2016 19:08

I think she may have just been shocked, whilst it may not look great to onlookers I think it can be quite a normal reaction. I have often seen this reaction when children have fallen over, waked into things.
Or she could be a really Nast abusive mum we can't know that from a one off incident.

Talcott2007 · 08/01/2016 19:08

it was definitely an accident - just totally the Mums fault not the little boys! Agree that calling the police would have been a bit OTT but I wish I had done something like go give the kid a big hug!

OP posts:

StrictlyMumDancing · 08/01/2016 19:12

I have simultaneously cuddled and told my DCs off when they've had accidents, and I may look like the most awful mother ever. I'll hold my hands up. But no one knows how much I've told my DC to not do what they're doing, and reminded them that doing it meant they've hurt themselves, how much they've been acting up, etc. It isn't my normal reaction, but it is a reaction I've had. Its not something I'm proud of either.

StrictlyMumDancing · 08/01/2016 19:13

*reminded them that doing it meant they've hurt themselves on a previous occasion.

Esmeismyhero · 08/01/2016 19:14

Just ignore me, I'm being ott tonight. Mum was completely in the wrong though. Not even checking her child was ok? It's wrong.

RudeElf · 08/01/2016 19:15

I saw a woman slip on ice a few years back. It was a really slippy part of the footpath and load of people were struggling on it but this lady slipped and almost went down completely. Her sister (i know them) who she was with screeched "watch where you're going for god's sake"
I found it really odd and your OP reminded me of it. I guess that's just how some people react to panic/shock. My dad tends to shout first then check youre ok after. It is a panic reaction. Not good but some people are just wired that way and dont realise its not normal until it is pointed out to them.

Booboostwo · 08/01/2016 19:16

It is abusive to scream at your DCs when they have had an accident, the fact that she caused it is the cherry on top. My DM used to do this, perhaps she was particularly anxious, I don't know but she would scream at us and exaggerate every little injury. It made me physically timid and I gave up on normal things like cycling and even running. I still remember my panic at the injury mounting because of her extreme and inappropriate reactions.

GruntledOne · 08/01/2016 19:17

If I had seen it I would have called the police.

Who would have done precisely nothing. It was an accident followed by a stressed reaction by the mother. Calling the police would be absurd.

GruntledOne · 08/01/2016 19:19

I wish I had done something like go give the kid a big hug!

I know her reaction wasn't good, but really if you had done that you would have looked seriously weird.

TheoriginalLEM · 08/01/2016 19:25

Honestly, some people really are as thick as shit! Today i saw a woman with a tantruming child. Yes, we have ALL been there and yes, ignoring the tantrum is often sensible, even pretending to walk off is a good idea when they wont get up and walk. BUT NOT WHEN SAID CHILD IS SITTING NO MORE THAN A FOOT FROM THE BUSY ROAD YOU FUCKING MORON! is what i thoguht it my head, but of course, i walked off hoiking my judgey pants as i went.

fidel1ne · 08/01/2016 19:26

My mother was like that. Constantly.

In retrospect she was a miserable, neurotic, unhappy woman constantly on the brink of failing to cope despite massive help.

It would have been much better for us as children to have been removed from her so-called 'care'.

No it isn't 'normal'.

lorelei9 · 08/01/2016 19:27

Poor child
I've actually told off a parent when he was screaming swear words at his toddler who spilled a drink in a park
I was probably lucky not to get punched but I just felt like I had to tell that guy off.
Hopefully the mum got a vibe from passers by or the first aid people.

lorelei9 · 08/01/2016 19:30

I should add, his viciousness made me feel he should not have had children. I appreciate people get stressed but sometimes you sense more than just stress, like get a real sense that theyd not make the same choice again.

I feel sorry for them to find that awful but how awful to be their kid.

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