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AIBU?

AiBU to be upset and want to talk to the head

97 replies

giantpurplepeopleeater · 07/01/2016 16:35

School let my 5yr old DS go home woth another parent from school today, without my permission and without checking with me. He should have been at a pre-arranges after school club, but it seema they didn't check that either.

AIBU to be upset and think this flies in the face of safeguarding policies and want to talk to the head about it?

OP posts:

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Tiggeryoubastard · 07/01/2016 16:37

You are so nbu! I'd be fucking livid.

AlanPacino · 07/01/2016 16:37

Has this parent taken your Dc before? It's not acceptable that this happened. You need to speak to the CT then escalate if not satisfied.

slicedfinger · 07/01/2016 16:38

YANBU!

lunar1 · 07/01/2016 16:39

Bloody hell, yes you need to speak to the head!

FrozenPonds · 07/01/2016 16:39

Why did the other parent take your child? What did they tell the teacher?

Was the other parent a relative or something?

ImperialBlether · 07/01/2016 16:40

That's appalling!

TeenAndTween · 07/01/2016 16:40

YANBU

The only way this would be even vaguely acceptable would be if the other parent is on your emergency contacts list AND they tried to contact you and you weren't available AND your DS never normally does after school club.

giantpurplepeopleeater · 07/01/2016 16:40

No. The parent and I are friends and I have picked up her DS at her request before, but not the other way round. And in those instances I have left it up to her to inform school. The teacher never questioned it so I assumed she had told them.... now I'm not so sure!

OP posts:

MoMoTy · 07/01/2016 16:41

Why don't you ask your friend first?

doodlejump1980 · 07/01/2016 16:41

The evil streak in me would be to turn up at school to pick up your son from the after school club and create merry hell knowing full well he was safe and sound WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT HERE?

StitchesInTime · 07/01/2016 16:41

YANBU. That's got to be a major safeguarding issue.

I'd be speaking to the head ASAP and wanting to know what they're going to do to stop this sort of thing happening again.

ImperialBlether · 07/01/2016 16:43

Why did she take your son home, though?

mouldycheesefan · 07/01/2016 16:43

Why did friend pick him up without your permission?
Yes discuss with head I would also complain to ofsted .

StitchesInTime · 07/01/2016 16:47

Does it really matter why the friend picked him up without permission?

The bottom line is that the school shouldn't have let him go without OP's permission. They should have contacted the OP to check OP had given permission.

ImperialBlether · 07/01/2016 16:48

Well, it does matter but in a separate way. Of course the school shouldn't have let him go, but equally what kind of friend picks up your son and takes him home if there's no pre-arrangement?

giantpurplepeopleeater · 07/01/2016 16:49

Apparently, rather than the TA take him to the hall for club the teacher took him out to the playground with all the other kids.

When I wasn't at the gate my friens offered to the teacher to take him as I was probably late. The teacher agreed.

I don't necessarily think my friend is in the wrong. She assumed and was trying to be helpful. I'm upset that a) the teacher would say yes to this without permission or checking first and that b) the organisation of the school club is such that the teacher had no idea he was supposes to be here.

Apparently the alarm was raised by the school Secretary, who was the person who knew he should be at club.

OP posts:

icanteven · 07/01/2016 16:50

That's BAD. A parent at school dates my 4 year old home with his little girl most weeks, and if I have forgotten to inform the school that he's taking her that week, they still call me to check!

Are they handed over or do they come out on their own?

OracleofDelphi · 07/01/2016 16:51

this happened to me in early December at DD primary school. Year 2! DD told teacher she was going home with a friend (she wasnt) and even tough she was down for after school club, and hadnt received permission from me to send her home with anyone (which is insisted on in infants) teacher let DD go off with friends mum!!!!

Luckily friends mum called me straight away as they were due for a playdate later in the week and too her back into after school club. I was fecking furious - she is 6 ffs! I called office who were very helpful and located DD for me to make sure she was in ASC and said the teacher said she was sorry..... for me thatjust wasnt enough as it IS a major safe guarding issue, and so I booked appt to see the head the next day.

Head had no idea and was appalled. He dealt with it very well and thanked me for going to him directly.

So based on that YANBU and yes book an appt before the end of the week with the head!

icanteven · 07/01/2016 16:51

Sorry - cross posted.

Finola1step · 07/01/2016 16:52

The Head needs to know that this has happened and to discuss with you how it happened.

Your friend needs to explain why they collected your dc without being asked to do so. Very odd.

Lauren15 · 07/01/2016 16:52

Now you've explained the full story you are so right to be furious.

BitOutOfPractice · 07/01/2016 16:54

Finola I think it's obvious why the friend collected the child. She thought she was doing op a favour

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Topseyt · 07/01/2016 16:56

It is both your friend and the class teacher you need to speak to.

Why did friend take your DS home? Did your DS and her child tell her some story and ask her to take him, and she did? What actually happened there?

What are the school's policies with regard to dropping off and collecting of the younger children? Are they even following them? Make sure you have those clear in your mind.

Then approach the class teacher in the morning to say that you are concerned this happened and want to know why he was allowed to go with X when they have on record that he should be going to his after school club, where you would have expected to pick him up later. Perfectly reasonable to then ask her why it was allowed to happen.

Yes, you may need to mention it to the head teacher too.

As a matter of interest, how did you actually find out that he had gone home with your friend? Did she tell you herself or did you get a call from the after school care providers saying that he wasn't with them?

giantpurplepeopleeater · 07/01/2016 16:58

Ok. good to know I'm not BU. So I'm going to go in and talk to the head in the morning.

Not sure just getting platitudes to reaasure me is going to help. What can I reasonably expect from them?

Can I ask them to change their system? Update their safeguarding policy?

Has anyone had this happen? What should I look to get out of the meeting?

OP posts:

giantpurplepeopleeater · 07/01/2016 17:03

My friend text to let me know. I was on the tube. Called to find friend had dropped him back to school for club. School secretary explained she had known he was supposed to be in club and raised called friend once she had found out what had happened.

Friend was just trying to be helpful. Don't think I can blame her for that but will ask her not to do it again. But I'm more bothered about making sure school doesn't allow it again.

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