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To feel annoyed with friend who feeds her dc nothing but crap

(236 Posts)
itwasmuchbetter Thu 07-Jan-16 14:52:48

I know it's none of my business but I am getting more and more concerned about dc of my friend who basically live on crap. She doesn't work so time isn't an issue, they have plenty of money to buy decent food but their diet is just awful. Examples of evening meals are Pot Noodles, Plain pasta with mayonnaise, cheap white bread/ tortilla with tomato ketchup. That is after packed lunch of chocolate brioche, chocolate bar, crisps. They frequently get constipation. This has been going on for years so I don't know why it is annoying me so much recently. Oh and they are constantly supplied with Haribos at every opportunity.

00100001 Thu 07-Jan-16 14:56:28

"I know it's none of my business"


But if you're very concerned - why not suggest vitamin supplements? Go for the whole "my kids love these, they think they're sweets"

How old are the kids?

Howdoesironmanwee Thu 07-Jan-16 15:00:32

Is there a reason for you to get annoyed now? Does she complain about their constipation, behaviour, sleep, weight? Is she overweight and complaining about it?
These are the sort of things that would lead me to feel annoyed with this.
You will probably be flamed. But, I understand why it would be annoying. I have an acquaintance who is the same, she's about 8st overweight, constantly on slimming world and yet doesn't see the connection.

StealthPolarBear Thu 07-Jan-16 15:00:44

If that really is representative of their diet then they are being neglected.
Do they have a dad? What does he do?

itwasmuchbetter Thu 07-Jan-16 15:02:25

I really is none of my business you are right and my friend is lovely apart from this and much better at other aspects of parenting than me I'm sure. Her dc are 6, 9 and 11.

KoalaDownUnder Thu 07-Jan-16 15:04:30

You're going to get flamed for being judgemental, but actually I think YANBU.

Unless time & money constraints are a huge factor, feeding your kids nothing but crap on a daily basis is just unfair.

KoalaDownUnder Thu 07-Jan-16 15:05:21

(Unfair to the kids, I mean.)

Howdoesironmanwee Thu 07-Jan-16 15:05:25

But feeding your kids like this isn't lovely. It's pretty awful. Why does she do it?

itwasmuchbetter Thu 07-Jan-16 15:06:12

Sorry x posted. She has a song they sing about constipation like it is a normal thing. She is overweight although the dc aren't - 2 of them are underweight. The dad is so busy at work I think he leaves her to it.

Helloitsme90 Thu 07-Jan-16 15:07:57

If the friend were giving her kids cigarettes no one would be saying its not OPs business. Well feeding them crap is just as bad! Obesity is so high nowadays and educating your kids to eat well should be priority. YANBU

shebird Thu 07-Jan-16 15:08:55

YANBU but will probably get flamed for daring to have an opinion on other people's business.

Can your friend cook or is she just lazy?

KoalaDownUnder Thu 07-Jan-16 15:09:06

(Trying to put this politely) - is she a bit think, OP? Or just a bit lazy?

Hihohoho1 Thu 07-Jan-16 15:09:08

It sounds sad but what do you think you can do op? It is her business really isn't it unless she asks for your advice.

KoalaDownUnder Thu 07-Jan-16 15:09:25


MrsJayy Thu 07-Jan-16 15:09:35

Sounds like she just cant be arsed to fight with them to eat so just gives them crap yanbu but it really is nothing to do with you If she was moaning about their constipation i would say something

imwithspud Thu 07-Jan-16 15:09:55

YANBU. I wouldn't be annoyed as such, but I would be concerned, and I would feel that the children are being let down by the parents. Not sure what could be done about it though without causing offence and potentially losing a friend over it.

Inkanta Thu 07-Jan-16 15:10:18

I think it is your business. Children are everyone's business. I would bring up the subject of diet and nutrition - and ask questions and be tactful.

Lj8893 Thu 07-Jan-16 15:10:48

Whilst I do think that it is none of your business, I also would be as concerned as you are. I was worrying today because I gave my dd a rare treat of sausage roll (not Greggs!) and crisps for her lunch.

I'm surprised the school haven't noticed the poor packed lunches!

Hamishandthefoxes Thu 07-Jan-16 15:13:25

Are her DC very fussy? I have a friend whose child eats pasta and marmite every day - her dad is a chef so cooks beautifully and knows a lot about nutrition but the child will/can not eat anything else.

PoohBearsHole Thu 07-Jan-16 15:13:37

Just a quick question but do any of you saying get involved and say something have fussy children? Sometimes getting them to eat something is better than them eating nothing. And no it doesn't have anything to do with laziness or even money, it has to do with getting your children to eat ACTUAL food rather than not eat at all.

Sometimes it is best to keep out of other peoples kitchens smile

Asskicker Thu 07-Jan-16 15:13:56

I am always on the fence with these.

Technically it's not your business. But I do think too many people look the other way.

Constipation is awful I grew up with it and was put on daily laxatives at 16. After much trial and error I found it only happened after eating dried pasta and white bread. I had a good diet in general growing up, but these two things were common in our house.

It blighted my childhood. Sleepless nights, cramps that were so bad I would pass out, missed school etc.

It was pretty grim. So I do think it is other people's business.

It difficult to give advice unless you know what the reason is.

MitzyLeFrouf Thu 07-Jan-16 15:14:18

Do the kids refuse healthy foods or are they never offered them in the first place? M&S food hall is made for people like this, plenty of trays of healthy and healthy-ish food that just needs to be bunged in the oven. Could you try suggesting this to her?

MitzyLeFrouf Thu 07-Jan-16 15:15:23

Is it likely though Pooh that all three of her children would be extremely fussy eaters?

MrsJayy Thu 07-Jan-16 15:16:56

I was just coming back to say 1 of mine was fussy her diet was crap when she was younger and she would only eat biege food and white bread for years it went on

Hamishandthefoxes Thu 07-Jan-16 15:17:31

It is in the family I know Mitzy - it's connected to inherited anxiety issues which the parents are very aware of.

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