A few years back DH and I were in a dire financial situation, ie. homeless (won't go into details but it was definitely bad luck rather than poor decision making) so for the first time ever in my adult life, I had to ask my mother and stepfather for a loan. I had never asked for anything from any family member before this.
Mother agreed to help (small amount - think £3K) and the only reason I asked was due to the fact that I knew she had a large amount of savings that were not needed at that point.
Later on I tried to pay the money back but she told me to wait until we were more settled etc. Later on when we were settled, she told me that it was forgotten which I felt bad about as I hated feeling 'beholden' but we got on with life.
I then started feeling very broody, last chance fertility madness, and DH and I agreed to try for baby No 3 for a few months not expecting it to happen due to my age and that I would get over it! I got pregnant straight away.
I noticed that my mother was not really interested in my pregnancy and expressed dismay when I said I was having another DS , but whatever, she has a lot of grandchildren and we only saw her 2/3 times a year anyway, did not expect anything like childcare.
They visited after I gave birth and mother was not at all interested in holding him, same thing when we visited a few months later. She 'forgot' his 1st birthday and 2nd, (never forgot older DCs) missed his name off family Christmas cards, would deliberately say his name wrong, never asked after him in phone calls etc. We are NC now due to lots of reasons, this being one of them.
I was told later by another relative that she was angry that I had another child while still owing her money and she has spread this around the family. I do wonder sometimes if I was in the wrong despite her telling me that she didn't want the money back!
So WIBU?
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AIBU?
Mother not acknowledging my DC4 as I owed her money before I got pregnant with him!
41 replies
OldWomanWhoLivesInATinyShoe · 06/01/2016 21:43
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