To raise an issue with nursery?

[cjt110]

This had been niggling at me since I collected DS on Christmas Eve.

When you get to our nursery you buzz the bell and someone comes to one of the doors and visually checks who you are then buzzes you in. As there weren't many children in, they had combined all the baby and toddlers rooms together. When I arrived at 3pm, there were approx 5 children and 2 staff members.

A staff member whom I know is an apprentice(?) checked at the door and buzzed me in but did look unsure as to who I was. I have met this worker before as she floats between all rooms as and when needed but only for a minute or so a few months back. I said I was C's Mum and she said "Oh right" She then picked him up and he put his arms out to me etc. She then said something along the lines of "I don't think I have met you before" We then went on to chat about how his day had been. I noticed I didn't recognise the other staff member as a member from baby/toddler rooms. I then left with my son.

When I got in the car I suddenly realised that she said she didn't know me, hadnt met me, the other staff member I didn't really recognise so I assume I havent met her before, and yet they let me take my son without double checking who I was or a password etc.

AIBU to raise this with nursery?

[99percentchocolate]

I would. Sounds like she is inexperienced so I wouldn't go in all guns blazing but just have a quiet word with the manager.

[chantico]

Yes, mention it to the manager. They need to tighten up a bit.

Usually there's no problem. The staff member knew you were regularly there, and would also have taken cues from how your DC interacted with you.

They certainly need to introduce a sign out sheet.

[duckbilled]

But she did recognise that you were a parent when she buzzed you in, just couldn't match you to a specific child at that moment.
As you mentioned that the children were all together, I would assume that they had a lot less than normal. As soon as you said who you were it probably jogged her memory. She may not have actually spoken to you before, but she has probably observed you dropping off/picking up. YABU I think.

[BlueJug]

"Meet" does not mean the same as "see" or recognize. There are people that I see - new neighbours, colleagues from different offices etc whom I know by sight but have not met. I would say "Nice to meet you" or "I don't think we've met" the first time we spoke or were introduced.

She probably recognized you as a mother although might not have been sure whose mother you were maybe - or might have been surprised as you were early/late/whatever. Also you arrived to pick up a named child. Named child put out his arms to you and clearly recognized you.

By all means introduce passwords etc but unless you have a problem, (ex partner/child protection issue), and there is a chance of someone coming to pick up your child - in which nursery should have been informed at the start - YABU.

[WorraLiberty]

I agree with duckbilled

There's a difference between not recognising someone as a parent/carer, and recognising them but being unable to mentally attach them to their child.

[cjt110]

I wouldnt want her to get in trouble but maybe a training issue to remember to ask?

duckbilled She has never been there when I have done the drop offs - my husband collects DS. I have seen her one occassion previously at a parents evening (when I met her "Oh by the way this is X, our new apprenctice" then off she went) and then on Xmas Eve.

[MrsLeighHalfpenny]

What would be the process if she refused to give you your child?

How would she verify that you are the child's parent and also that you have authority to take the child away? Do they have your photo on file?

[SuperCee7]

I agree with PP. I'd assume she meant 'meet' as in spoke to you properly and handed over a child etc. It's different from recognising you as a regular parent or cater and allowing you into the building. I think common sene was applied to this situation. She recognised you as a parent who picks up her child, your child clearly recognised you too. I don't see the issue.

[cjt110]

Im stuck between wanting to mention it but also thinking similar to what PPs have said I know they have a policy that if someone is collecting a child (say a grandparent) who doesnt normally collect, they have a password system. I would assume this would usually be used on non recognition of the collector?

[KitKat1985]

It sounds like to me that she vaguely recognised you from having seen you there before and being a parent, but couldn't remember which child was yours as she hadn't really spoken to you much before. I'd probably let it go to be honest.

[Ditsy4]

I used to work in Nurseries a lot on supply. I think she recognised you but didn't know which child which is easy to do. You have seen her before so it is likely she did recognise you however I would mention it. Speak to the Manager and say I'm not complaining but need to mention this and explain. It is a training issue and if flagged up can be discussed with all staff. Unusual to have two staff members that didn't know you. The only other thing they could have done is asked for ID. Perhaps there was someone else on premises ( doing paperwork) that did know you in which case they should have checked with them. I would mention that you don't want her to get into trouble but felt you need to mention it as a concern.
Depending on her work so far will help the Manager decide whether she needs to do some written work on this aspect. Usually apprentices have to complete a portfolio and Child Protection will be included.

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

I'd have thought the same as KitKat TBH. She recognised you as being 'a mum' but not necessarily which child's mum. Had she not recognised you at all then I would hope she'd have asked for the password.

[cjt110]

Thanks for the insightful responses and also your reply too *Ditsy I think I will just mention it to my son's keyworker that perhaps she needs to be reminded or have some training or input.

[JeffreySadsacIsUnwell]

My DC's nursery has a board with all the parents' and DC photos on it on the wall in the staff room. The idea is that the staff will then recognise the parents even if they work in a different room, so if a parent buzzes for entry and their DC's room is in the garden with all room staff, the staff from a different room or the office will at least be able to let them in and send someone down to meet them/call through to the garden. Yesterday a new member of staff in a different room, whom I've not met as she only started Mon, left as I turned up at the main gate, held it open for me and said to DC1 "are you here to pick up ?". She must have been studying the photoboard, she's never seen me before...

It's quite possible that your nursery has the same. There isn't a security issue but it could be worth mentioning to the manager that you didn't know either member of staff on Xmas Eve and though you mutually recognised one of them, neither of you knew the other's name - perhaps staff pics/names could be put in the next newsletter or made easily accessible as you found it awkward?

[araiba]

you knew who she was, so why be surprised that she remembered you too?

[ChampsMummy]

I'd let it go, as someone else said it might get her into trouble.

[OurBlanche]

She won't get into trouble, it should be mentioned, if only so the owner/manager knows what is going on and can arrange suitable training, in house or otherwise. If she is an Apprentice then it is their job to ensure she is confident in applying ALL safeguarding policies all the time.

It's no big deal, as it stands. But could become so. A quiet, matter of fact chat would be fine. If you don't tell them, they won't necessarily know that they need to improve that part of their on-going training.

[blamethecat]

Probably worth a chat with the manager to confirm the procedures but I would imagine if they didn't recognise you at all they would have asked for a password/checked who you were ? I know at the nursery Ds goes to staff recognise us but wouldn't know us by name or who our son was as they don't work in his room.

[Allbymyselfagain]

If I have to remember a password to pick up my future children I really might as well not have any as id never get them back from nursery!

[millymae]

MY mum sometimes picks dd up from nursery and before dd started there we had to provide photos of everyone who might collect her. At other nurseries I've used there has always been a password asked for.

On more than one occasion when mum has arrived staff who haven't recognised her have gone to check in the file that she's who she says she, so I'm happy that the system works.

[Tanith]

I'm sure the nursery would prefer a quiet word from you and the chance to sort it out quickly rather than either Ofsted censuring them for a safeguarding failure or, even worse, having to deal with the police after a child has been abducted.