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to ask what your DC with aspergers is like?

(62 Posts)
livvielunch Tue 05-Jan-16 23:05:44

I'm pretty convinced my nine year old has aspergers and today I feel thoroughly suffocated. She never stops touching or following me, she talks at me constantly, doesn't listen to or care about anyone but herself. Does anyone else have a DC with aspergers who could offer some words of wisdom on how to cope on tougher days?

LemonySmithit Tue 05-Jan-16 23:16:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

suchafuss Tue 05-Jan-16 23:24:53

Oh would you mind pm me too? Sorry to butt in! I have a dc 9y who does the same, even has to sleep wrapped around me0

doitanyways Tue 05-Jan-16 23:27:49

I have a 37 year old with it and I hear you!!

figureofspeech Tue 05-Jan-16 23:40:26

Have you had a formal diagnosis or have you come to the conclusion based on your own observations? My dc has it and as it's a spectrum condition it affects everyone differently so his behaviours will be different from your dd's.

Contact the National Autistic Society or the Burgess Autistic Trust (BAT) for further help and advice. I've attended parental workshops run by the BAT which has been very helpful & has equipped me with coping strategies.

www.burgessautistictrust.org.uk/

www.autism.org.uk/

Klaptout Tue 05-Jan-16 23:42:27

Intense and obsessed by the things that interest them.

spaceyboo Tue 05-Jan-16 23:47:27

Has your daughter always been like this, or has it started recently? Could there be another reason for her being so clingy/chatty?

LemonySmithit Wed 06-Jan-16 01:05:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yankeecandle4 Wed 06-Jan-16 08:50:06

Got a recent diagnosis for dd9. Lots of background, left school in Y1 so now formally home educated. She functions very well in our home, feels safe there and likes to keep herself to herself. Watches a lot of documentaries of her area of interest. Is not affectionate but craves sensory stimulation, such as nipping/pinching which she will frequently ask me to do.

I am in a catch 22 situation as we are not eligible for help/additional support because she is not in school. LA told me that I would have to put her in school in order to get a statement (to get support she needs) but that would take a year so would mean her going into school with no support and that is not going to work for her. Admittedly I am worried for her future.

Mine is not very chatty but tends to ask the same questions over again, which is quite annoying. However I have been to some workshops that have made me realize why she does this, so they were very helpful.

Lemony I know you said you don't like posting, but I would love to hear more about you and how you cope with every day life.

BigDamnHero Wed 06-Jan-16 08:57:42

I think you'd be best maybe posting on the SN boards. The posters there are very knowledgeable and helpful.

My sister has AS and was very touchy feely/clingy as a child. Back when I lived with her as a child (I'm 12 years older) she'd sit really close to me and stroke my arm and I found it pretty suffocating (we had no idea she had Asperger's at that point).

My DS (also diagnosed) is similar, too. He's only three and the number of times I've had to tell him to step back from DS2 this morning because he was totally invading DS2's space is ridiculous.

LemonySmithit Wed 06-Jan-16 18:30:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueBlueBelles Wed 06-Jan-16 18:33:15

My DS is nine and complete opposite - he won't kiss, a hug is him putting his head on you chest like a head but for you to pat or hug, in fact if a child touches him at school it can cause an intense meltdown.

ASD means he struggles to process change, and an intense follower of rules and patterns.

If you can, read How to Find A Lost Dog. It's written as fiction by the writer of The Babysitters club (remember them?) but from the perspective of a 9year old with aspergers and it's very very good.

VaticanAssassin Wed 06-Jan-16 18:33:25

Lemony would you mind if I PM'd you too please? I would really appreciate it as the Mum of a 13 year old Aspie x

BlueBlueBelles Wed 06-Jan-16 18:34:08

Lemony, what you wrote struck me - DS may dislike traditional affection, but offer to sit scratching his back for hours and he will love you forever!!

VaticanAssassin Wed 06-Jan-16 18:35:27

Sorry Lemony I have just seen your post. It's really helping me with present things going on, so thank you for posting x

BlueBlueBelles Wed 06-Jan-16 18:35:50

And as an extra Lemony, ive been referred to be diagnosed as ASD myself.

Well, I was referred three months ago. Apparently I have to ring up myself to see what the status is. I was told this over three weeks ago and I've yet to be able to pick up the phone. Even typing that makes me anxious.

LemonySmithit Wed 06-Jan-16 18:36:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hedgehogsdontbite Wed 06-Jan-16 18:41:41

My DD is now 22 and has AS (as do I). She feel things very deeply but can't express it at all, or if she does it all come out wrong. I love her to bits but I'm also so relieved she's finally moved out to university. The peace and quiet. She started talking at 12 months and never stopped. Ever. All the way through films, through my dad's funeral, even when I pretended to be asleep I could hear her still talking to me.

IamTheWhoreofBabylon Wed 06-Jan-16 18:42:27

My DS was like that at 9
He had been diagnosed with ADHD a few years earlier. He was obsessed with a single thing and was amazed that the rest of the world didn't share his obsession or want to talk about said interest constantly
He had poor impulse control but was not the bouncing off the walls type of ADHD
I tried hard to be interested in his obsessions and ask questions to try to get a 2 way conversation going and I would tell him it was time to stop talking

He was diagnosed aspergers when he was 14
Should have been earlier it was obvious. Late to speak, no eye contact, no idea about non verbal communication
He is 18 now and has anxiety thrown into the mix

BlueBlueBelles Wed 06-Jan-16 18:50:24

Lemony, I like weighted feelings. DP has to sit on my feet on the sofa, I have to have a heavy duvet etc. I cannot stand hugging or kissing friends. That's for my DP and DC and occasionally my closest family only.

LemonySmithit Wed 06-Jan-16 18:52:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hedgehogsdontbite Wed 06-Jan-16 18:55:46

I have a hospital grade weighted blanket. It's like a thin duvet but has metal chains running through it which pin me to the bed like a specimen butterfly. I love it.

LemonySmithit Wed 06-Jan-16 18:59:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hedgehogsdontbite Wed 06-Jan-16 19:06:20

It is. I'm lucky in that I live somewhere where you can fet them on prescription.

hedgehogsdontbite Wed 06-Jan-16 19:06:38

*get them

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