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To think dss is being unreasonable, or am I?

(160 Posts)
DadKeepsCalm1 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:21:20

So today I finished unusually early from work, I normally finish about 5 to half 5. So as I was coming home from work (drive) I noticed it was almost the end of the school day at dd and ds school. So I decided to pick them up and get a coffee and cake. The school is not much of a detour on the way home. Dss goes to a different school it is very far from ds and dd school.

Dss and my kids normally get a bus home, dss bus was delayed and he got home considerably later.

Dss thinks that I should have come to pick him up, despite this meaning a massive journey in the midst of rush hour. Dss has then called me selfish and inconsiderate. However dss made no effort trying to contact me to explain journey problems, if I would of known of these I would have collected him.

So Aibu or dss ?

maddy68 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:25:32

He's a teenager. Has a totally different idea of perspective to you. In his eyes you've been unfair,N you picked the others up and he was late, pissed off and stroppy.
In his eyes Yabu
Reality yanbu
but I wouldn't treat any of them differently myself for this reason

Hihohoho1 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:27:20

He shouldn't be calling you names.

How old is he? Sounds like he was jealous of you getting the coffee and cake with your kids.

Is this just tiredness, general grumpiness after a tedious journey home and out of character?

Were your kids a bit smug about being picked up and the coffee/cake?

Need more info.

DadKeepsCalm1 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:28:12

I try not to treat dss differently but that is near impossible to perfect. I wish I would have never picked any of them up now.

Hihohoho1 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:28:46

Did I miss he was a teen in your op? Sorry

DadKeepsCalm1 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:29:29

I think the journey, jealousy and the fact that he was last to the playstation.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 05-Jan-16 18:30:00

Way more info. Is he much older, does he normally get included in treats, does he get lots of special time with cake his parents alone?

DadKeepsCalm1 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:30:13

Yh all teens dd 15 ds 17 dss 16

DadKeepsCalm1 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:32:26

MrsTerry he gets picked up by mum sometimes as it is more convenient for her then me due to location but it's rare. He does get treats and individual outings though. He has a much longer journey then my school though.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Tue 05-Jan-16 18:33:34

Yanbu but I'd of bought him a cake so he wasnt left out

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 05-Jan-16 18:36:46

And probably let him on the PS once he got home since they'd had a turn.

DadKeepsCalm1 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:39:05

No we have more then one controller, I don't know much about the game but if ds had more time it puts him at some sort of advantage, but that's life dss might have more time on it next week.

DadKeepsCalm1 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:48:54

I am more upset about the names that dss accused me of being, I think this is not out of character for a teenager. I do have to remember that maybe dss feels isolated as his father lives abroad and he only sees him in summer and Easter.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 05-Jan-16 18:51:53

Hold on. His DF is aboard and he has his 'contact' with you? That's weird. Why can't he go to where his DF is?

shouldhepay Tue 05-Jan-16 18:52:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buttons23 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:54:13

Mrs I would assume the op is the stepfather and so lives with his stepson's mother

MoMoTy Tue 05-Jan-16 18:54:59

At 16yo he is old enough to understand the logic of your route. He's being a whiny brat and should not be speaking to you that way.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 05-Jan-16 18:55:42

I need a diagram and a family tree. I thought OP was a man, then talk about DSS's DM confused me. More tea needed.

Epilepsyhelp Tue 05-Jan-16 18:57:21

Where did you get that dss has his contact with OP mrs ? It reads as dss has contact with his dad only at Easter and summer.

You were NU OP but he will be super sensitive due to the situation with his dad and and the other two being your DC. I would just let it go.

DoreenLethal Tue 05-Jan-16 18:57:46

I thought OP was a man, then talk about DSS's DM confused me.

Erm - Op is clearly the child's stepfather.

Epilepsyhelp Tue 05-Jan-16 18:58:06

OP is a man mrs

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 05-Jan-16 18:58:33

Erm - clearly I've got that now.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 05-Jan-16 18:59:04

That PA reply of mine was to Doreen not you Epilepsy.

DadKeepsCalm1 Tue 05-Jan-16 19:01:36

I'm dss stepfather, I live with my wife his mother. Dss father lives abroad in America, he lives with him over summer and sometimes Easter and Christmas. He has contact with his dad independently not through me. smile

Oh and dss is allergic to egg so can't eat cake so that's why I did not get him anything, I did text him but did not get a response, so assumed that meant he wanted nothing.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe Tue 05-Jan-16 19:01:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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