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Do you think it's a bit out of order for a sil to tell everyone she's pg on your wedding day [DOWNTOWN ABBEY SPOILER WARNING added by MNHQ]

(193 Posts)
LardLizard Tue 05-Jan-16 11:32:21

This happened at my wedding but I didn't think anything of it really

Just thought sil was telling everyone that she was pregnant because it was an oppertunity to see everyone

She didn't stand up and make a speech or anything she just told everyone individually

Anyway afterwards my mum said she thought it was out of order of her and I've just watched the Xmas downtown where mary doesn't announce her pregnancy news as she doesn't want to steal Edith thunder

Anyway what do you think ?

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime Tue 05-Jan-16 11:34:41

I wouldn't have done it as it's inconsiderate. Unless there is more to your relationship that makes you suspect maliciousness, I wouldn't read anything more into it than that.

ShesGotLionsInHerHeart Tue 05-Jan-16 11:36:42

Nope, wouldn't bother me. Two happy occasions for the price of one!

FauxFox Tue 05-Jan-16 11:37:42

If she wasn't drinking people may have been asking/guessing anyway and it might have made more fuss to deny it. I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 05-Jan-16 11:38:43

It's a bit off, I think.

My husbands brother announced that his wife had had a miscarriage recently before even bothering to congratulate us. I thought that was weird, especially as from what he said, it was clear that she herself didn't want people to know.

RatOnnaStick Tue 05-Jan-16 11:39:03

Wouldn't bother me either. In fact I wouldn't have imagined anybody would be bothered until I read this thread. I would have just done the same as you and not thought any more about it.

sooperdooper Tue 05-Jan-16 11:39:16

I wouldn't have an issue, everyone's together so makes sense to me -but I know some people think their wedding day should only be about them and would be upset about it

Birdsgottafly Tue 05-Jan-16 11:39:51

It bother you, your Mums the one with the issue, so I'd forget about it.

Did you have a good wedding day, was it spoiled by your SILs announcement, for anyone

If not, it doesn't matter.

StringTheory Tue 05-Jan-16 11:40:53

It's not like she turned up in a wedding dress and decided to get married at exactly the same time. She had some good news and wanted to share it. It wouldn't bother me, in fact I think it would make the day that little bit more special.

NeedsAsockamnesty Tue 05-Jan-16 11:41:27

I would love that, it would make it a double happy day

Faye12345 Tue 05-Jan-16 11:42:34

I think if it was me i would be a bit miffed. Its your day and the attention should really be on you. She could have told people a few days later surely

BlueMoonRising Tue 05-Jan-16 11:44:18

I think it's lovely. Your wedding has a double whammy of happy memories for everyone, people are more likely to remember it fondly. Well, with the exception of your mum, perhaps.

MrsAxewound Tue 05-Jan-16 11:48:12

I think it'd piss me off more if someone had got engaged at my wedding and made a big deal out of it - I'd be all 'fuck off, its not YOUR day' grin

SuperFlyHigh Tue 05-Jan-16 11:51:26

My SIL would file this under stealing Thunder.

Whereas I couldn't give a flying fish!

WhereYouLeftIt Tue 05-Jan-16 11:51:29

I think it's a bit off, piggybacking onto someone else's special occasion. It sort of dilutes them both. I can understand the 'everyone I want to tell is here, so I will' - but really, throw your own do, don't hijack somebody else's.

katienana Tue 05-Jan-16 11:51:41

It's a bit off. I wouldn't do it. I would rather have the limelight all to myself.

ppandj Tue 05-Jan-16 11:55:06

I had this when I was 9 weeks pregnant and I didn't "announce" my pregnancy as such when I was moh for a friend, but did have to tell some people on the day.

Bride already knew as I had to get my dress altered blush and on her wedding morning she said "do you think you'd better tell my mum or she will ply you with champagne!" So on the wedding day I told her mum, who was very pleased and lovely about it. I also told one other friend who I hadn't seen for a bit and hadn't already told, only to explain my not drinking. As far as I know the bride wasn't bothered about this confused. I certainly didn't do it with any bad intentions!

specialsubject Tue 05-Jan-16 11:55:20

I also don't get why you would be bothered. You clearly aren't the terribly insecure type that doesn't allow anyone else to have happenings in their life, and see it (as most of us would) as extra good news for a happy day.

I'm sure everyone knew who was getting married.

AuntieStella Tue 05-Jan-16 11:56:19

It wouldn't bother me.

As you say she was just telling people as she mingled. Not making an Oscar-acceptance type speech.

OllyBJolly Tue 05-Jan-16 11:57:43

but really, throw your own do, don't hijack somebody else's.

You wouldn't throw a do to announce a pregnancy though, would you? I'm with the lovely brigade - all adds to the happiness of the day and on baby's birth, first day of school, 18th and 21st birthdays there's a lovely reminder of your wedding when the arrival of that niece or nephew was announced.

Asskicker Tue 05-Jan-16 11:59:42

I wouldn't care.

My sil would have gone apeshit.

She went apeshit when I found out I was pg. she got engaged I found out I was pregnant the same weekend. I kept it quiet for 8 weeks so there was 2 months between their engagement and me telling mum.

But I was inconsiderate for getting pregnant around the time they got engagedconfused

harryhausen Tue 05-Jan-16 12:01:36

It wouldn't bother me either OP but obviously it riles others.

I inadvertently did it at a friends wedding. I was only about 10 weeks and feeling rough. As soon as I refused done wine for orange juice a mutual friend stood in our circle just blurted "omg! You're pregnant aren't you!". I said "Errr....." DH said "ummmm...." and them it was just 'out there'. The bride asked me later. I said yes but trying to keep it quiet (laughs). She seemed ok. Maybe she wasn't?

BarbarianMum Tue 05-Jan-16 12:02:39

Wouldn't bother me at all. Weddings are only about the bride and groom to a certain extent anyway. After the service it is a chance to catch up with old friends and family, eat, drink and make merry. It's not like people are expected to think of you, and only you, throughout.

EssentialHummus Tue 05-Jan-16 12:05:24

I'm with the "stealing thunder" brigade. Of course it can come out accidentally as with harry, but I believe the wedding should be about the B&G.

WhyDoesGastonBark Tue 05-Jan-16 12:05:29

No, sorry I don't agree.

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