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to sever ties

(21 Posts)
Idliketoteachtheworldtosing1 Tue 05-Jan-16 00:11:48

I've been agonising for months over what to do about my friend. We have been friends nearly 10 years and I love her dearly but since she has married a man who is loaded I don't recognise her. Everything is about money, he is a complete snob and she has gone the same way. The posts on both of their Facebook pages are about how much the have spent on this and that, I get the feeling that I'm not the only one feeling the same as no one comments on their posts anymore.
On the flip side they refuse to pay for their children to have swimming lessons which is such an important thing to learn.
I love her but don't like the person she has become, she looks down her nose at people less well off, she has forgotten that not so long ago she was struggling like some of our mutual friends so she should not make derogatory comments about them. It will break my heart but I don't like being around her anymore, wibu to just sever all ties just like that or tell her the problem, God knows how I would be able to broach the subject though! This is keeping me awake at night as we were so close, it's heartbreaking!!

LineyReborn Tue 05-Jan-16 00:15:08

Why won't she pay for swimming lessons?

missingmumxox Tue 05-Jan-16 00:17:54

You need to get your story straight, she has only been married a matter of months and yet they have children who need swimming lessons, even if she lived with him for years I would expect her behaviour to be unchanged on marriage.

Idliketoteachtheworldtosing1 Tue 05-Jan-16 00:21:53

Sorry she has two children from a previous marriage and he has 1.
When we were talking about swimming lessons because my son has just started she said that they cannot afford them

Idliketoteachtheworldtosing1 Tue 05-Jan-16 00:24:30

They have been together just over a year now

LineyReborn Tue 05-Jan-16 00:27:10

What did you say to her when she said they couldn't afford swimming lessons?

Is he keeping her short of money?

Someone's lying here.

Pipestheghost Tue 05-Jan-16 00:29:36

He's loaded but she can't afford swimming lessons. Someone's telling porkies.

GiddyOnZackHunt Tue 05-Jan-16 00:30:45

Well if you're prepared to sever ties, why not give it to her, both barrels, and then walk away?

shihtzumamma Tue 05-Jan-16 00:35:59

Do it.

knobblyknee Tue 05-Jan-16 00:40:39

She's acting like a twat being rude to people and playing one upmanship. But the truth is she has no money.

I'd just cut ties. She must be really shallow to play that game.

Idliketoteachtheworldtosing1 Tue 05-Jan-16 00:43:01

I was shocked that she said they couldn't afford it (they both have very good jobs) I just changed the subject, something I've been doing a lot because I've been shocked at things she's said.
It's true what they say money changes people, we used to be so close, if I don't ring or text I don't hear from her for months.

LineyReborn Tue 05-Jan-16 00:45:28

But she has told you that she doesn't have any money. Maybe that's what she wants you to listen to.

The FB stuff sounds like a front. What the new spouse like?

LineyReborn Tue 05-Jan-16 00:46:50

Please excuse my crappy typing.

PinkFlamingoAteMyLipstick Tue 05-Jan-16 00:48:21

If you don't hear from for several months when you don't initiate then it won't be very difficult to sever ties. Let it drift ...

Idliketoteachtheworldtosing1 Tue 05-Jan-16 00:51:11

It's not just the swimming lessons it's the whole looking down on people, even our mutual friends.
Her spouse is horrible, extremely judgemental, has to buy the latest technology ie projector, Xbox one iPad iMac, he's a complete snob!

Pipestheghost Tue 05-Jan-16 00:52:51

Sounds like she's been corrupted by him.

Idliketoteachtheworldtosing1 Tue 05-Jan-16 00:52:54

Yep you are right, thanks for the advice. I think I knew all along that it was time to say goodbye just needed to hear it from others.

LineyReborn Tue 05-Jan-16 00:53:21

So what do you think she was saying to you when she said she couldn't afford swimming lessons? Could that be a 'help'?

BreakfastLunchPasta Tue 05-Jan-16 01:09:10

YANBU, she/they sound insufferable.
but, I advise stop making any effort and just let the friendship fizzle out, rather than an announcement or explanation speaking from bitter experience. If eventually pressed, just say you don't seem to have much in common anymore.

looki Tue 05-Jan-16 01:12:33

If it would break your heart to lose contact with her, then I wouldn't sever ties. If she is such a close friend, surely you could tell her that you don't want to talk about money in conversations but you will be there for her if she wants to discuss something personal etc? Friends are hard to come by especially good ones.

xmasseason Tue 05-Jan-16 01:21:18

I think it would be good to continue to be there for her. She may not be happy feeling she has to keep up appearances, and would need a friend sometime instead of everyone cutting her off. Be honest with her and say you value her friendship but you don't want any differences in attitudes towards money to come between you.

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