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Gumtree- I want to meet in a public place

(29 Posts)
Littleallovertheshop Mon 04-Jan-16 21:43:50

I'm selling an item, but don't want to give out my home address and don't want a stranger in my house. The buyer thinks I'm being unreasonable because I've said I'll meet them nearby but not at my house. AIBU?

Euphemia Mon 04-Jan-16 21:46:50

Do you live alone? What is the item?

Industrialhelicopter Mon 04-Jan-16 21:52:47

They think that you have nicked it.That is what criminals do- meet you in public places as it is knock off.

Vinorosso74 Mon 04-Jan-16 21:52:52

No. I've sold quite a few things on Gumtree and mostly have met people in a public place. Nobody has thought it odd in fact once they have often suggested a meeting place if they know the area.
I would stand your ground and just say it's easier for you to meet them.

BadgersNadgers Mon 04-Jan-16 21:53:05

If it's a sofa then YABU. If it's an egg cup then fair play to you.

Littleallovertheshop Mon 04-Jan-16 21:58:13

Haha, neither a sofa nor an egg cup. It's easily transportable but biggish and where I proposed is just across from where I live. We have left it because neither will budge!

19lottie82 Mon 04-Jan-16 22:14:09

I sell things quite often on Gumtree and I think as a seller you need to accept potential buyers coming to your house...... Sorry! If you feel vulnerable, can you ask a friend to sit in with you when the buyer visits?

bimbobaggins Mon 04-Jan-16 22:46:19

I was trying to buy something off gumtree tonight and wanted to meet in a different place to the sellers home. Usually when i am selling i want to meet away from home.

Griphook Mon 04-Jan-16 22:50:06

I buy and sell quite a lot on eBay (pick up only) if some one wanted to meet away from there home I would feel very uncomfortable and would be worried I was being set up.
With buyers I often leave thing in my car, so there never any question of anyone wanting to come in

whois Mon 04-Jan-16 22:55:42

I would think it was nicked probably! There is nothing inherently dodge about someone knowing where you live... Can you have a friend come round if you don't want to be one your own?

Littleallovertheshop Mon 04-Jan-16 23:08:20

We've left it. It isn't stolen, honest. I live alone and just don't like the idea of someone coming in. I could get someone round, but even so, I don't want someone I dont know who I have essentially met on the Internet in my home. I know it might sound slightly mad, there does seem to be an interesting mix of YABU and YANBU responses so I guess it's each to their own.

Littleallovertheshop Mon 04-Jan-16 23:09:36

The buyer has been really understanding now they know I'm not just being awkward!

ottothedog Mon 04-Jan-16 23:12:46

It maybe depends what you are selling ie chances it is nicked/broken - in this category i would put especially
Mobile phone
Bike
Electronics/xbox
I have sometimes met at eg a carpark but only if it was half way between us or near work - so for convenience of buyer really

Btw watch out for fake notes - v common scam atm apparently

WorraLiberty Mon 04-Jan-16 23:15:57

I must admit I'd be worried that if the item was stolen or it broke within a day, there would be no comebacks.

Also, I'm pretty sure the Police would be unimpressed if I said, "Err I bought it off some woman in a pub/cafe/whatever" grin

LeaLeander Mon 04-Jan-16 23:22:01

I arrange meetings like this in the parking areas of police stations. There's usually one handy to both parties and who could object?

BackforGood Mon 04-Jan-16 23:23:30

I agree, if I were buying something, I'd assume it was dodgy if they wanted to meet me somewhere - I'd assume it was so they couldn't trace me when there was a problem. Like your buyer, I'd not go through with it.

Also, I was watching '24hrs in A&E' last week and a lad came in for treatment, having been mugged by a gang after he arranged to meet the buyer (this chap was selling stuff) "by her work".

Griphook Mon 04-Jan-16 23:24:39

I always say, me or my husband will be in, rather than just me. I close my living room door, have change in my pocket and don't ever let them in.

Even if its raining, I've show someone how to fold and all the different ways you can have a double buggy on the pavement.
I Know it not nice but as long as you protect yourself it will be fine.

lucymootoo Mon 04-Jan-16 23:28:39

No YANBU. A lot of times I've noticed people on my local buy and sell sites agreeing to meet in "the middle" which is usually one of large shopping centers in my City.

WorraLiberty Mon 04-Jan-16 23:29:34

I arrange meetings like this in the parking areas of police stations. There's usually one handy to both parties and who could object?

Me...

A) The item could be stolen and the police are going to think I'm taking the piss when I tell them I bought it off some woman in a police station car park grin

B) If it breaks the next day, I don't know where you live so I have not a leg to stand on.

TiredButFineODFOJ Mon 04-Jan-16 23:30:08

I bought from gumtree recently, I went to the guy's house but was quite prepared to refuse crossing the threshold and txted my movements to a friend.
This lad about 22 tried to invite me into the family home...I still didn't go in! Then he offered me a lift to the station which I declined.
Poor kid he was totally bewildered that his politeness was being ignored.

MidniteScribbler Mon 04-Jan-16 23:35:42

I usually have the item waiting either just inside the door or on the front porch so they never need set foot inside the house.

hibbleddible Mon 04-Jan-16 23:36:34

Yabu

I agree with others that I would assume the goods were stolen/counterfeit/faulty and the seller did not want to be traced.

I make sure I have someone else at home and have never had any issues.

If you are too nervous to meet buyers at your house then perhaps sell on eBay only

JeanneDeMontbaston Mon 04-Jan-16 23:45:18

I have a suspicion that people who're capable of selling stolen goods might just be capable of lying about where they live too ... shocking as the idea sounds.

I've had people come to my home, but if you don't feel comfortable, don't do it! Someone else will buy whatever it is you're selling, unless it's very niche, surely?

Iggi999 Mon 04-Jan-16 23:49:46

Oh lord, I bring them in and have a chat and have done the same in reverse when buying. I'm such a paranoid soul normally too.

cakedup Mon 04-Jan-16 23:49:52

I have sold items on Gumtree/ebay and have always let people come to my door because I don't think it's any more of a risk than any passer by seeing me walk into my home. Not only is it convenient but I like to give the reassurance to the buyer that all is above board. I think you are BU but obviously don't do it if you really don't feel comfortable. I would not feel comfortable meeting the seller in a car park, I would feel very vulnerable doing that!

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