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AIBU?

to ask when do you rsvp to a childs party

34 replies

soontobemrsmckeown · 04/01/2016 21:42

Sent invites out today 22 of them. Rsvp by monday for party next weekend. Had two responses tonight. When do you tend to rsvp to partys dont want my dd will be 4 not having friends at the party as its costing a small fortune. Aibu to expect rsvps sooner rather than later?

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Sleepingbunnies · 04/01/2016 21:44

I have only ever forgotten once. Apart from that I RSCP when I get the invite. It really winds me up when people don't :(

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HighwayDragon1 · 04/01/2016 21:53

As soon as I can, I've also forgotten once had the party mum ask me the day before if dd was coming I said "of course!" Saw her astonished face and quickly said "did you not get my text? Xmas Shock" Xmas Blush

I'd cater for most invitees, whether they've rspv'd or not.

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soontobemrsmckeown · 04/01/2016 21:56

Ive done party bags for them all i just dont want a big hall with 4 kids in it with three charecter entertainers. Dont want dd to be let down and upset on her birthday.

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Twistedheartache · 04/01/2016 21:58

Straight away otherwise I would forget.
Occasional exception if I've bumped into the mum & said we'll attend or if I know there's a possibility of a major clash.
Would rather wait than unsay yes iyswim

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WhereTheFuckIsWonderWoman · 04/01/2016 21:58

I always reply by text straight away. It's invariably followed by a comment from the child's parent about how prompt I am so I'm guessing it's not the norm.

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SnowyBumbles · 04/01/2016 22:00

Straight away, unless we potentially have plans in which case I make a reminder on my phone so that I can double check and rsvp before date

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CFSsucks · 04/01/2016 22:01

I reply as soon as I get home but I'm pretty much in the minority I think. A lot of people don't bother to reply. I think it's very rude, it takes 20 seconds to say yes or no we can/can't make it.

I'd be prepared to chase a few. I have found that putting an rsvp date helps so you may be lucky.

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AndNowItsSeven · 04/01/2016 22:01

Straight away or I will forget!

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Notso · 04/01/2016 22:02

Usually takes me a few days to reply if I need to sort childcare/lifts or see what DH is working.

DS2 had a party last month, we invited 25, five said they couldn't make it, 11 said they were coming and came, three said they were coming and didn't turn up (£30 down the drain) the rest we didn't hear from.

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TendonQueen · 04/01/2016 22:05

In my experience you get a flurry of replies in the 48 hours after sending out the invitation, another flurry on your RSVP date, and maybe one or two the night before. About half the ones who just don't reply at all come anyway. I end up catering for most anyway to be on the safe side. Annoying Hmm

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DayToDayShit · 04/01/2016 22:08

Straightaway or next day. I have done parties for my dc when they were younger and it is a complete nightmare not knowing the numbers. There are always the same parents who don't reply and then roll up regardless.

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Whiskeywithwater · 04/01/2016 22:29

Always the same day - I forget otherwise! Wee bit nervous that you've sent out invites quite so close to the party though if it's next weekend?

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Moln · 04/01/2016 22:31

Just about all invites I've ever seen have 'regrets only' written on them, so I only reply if the doc in question can't go.

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StickyToffeePuddingAndCustard · 04/01/2016 22:45

Despite normally being a lastminute.com person, I always try and reply as soon as I get it or within 48 hrs.

Since I've done my own children's parties I appreciate the nerve-wracking angst when waiting and thoughts of 'is any going to be coming to my child's party?', so it is one of the occasions when I get my arse in gear.

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Pedestriana · 04/01/2016 22:51

I reply as soon as I've checked the calendar - usually same day, occasionally next day.
I recently sent out invites with 'RSVP by..' on and had not heard from 4 people - so I chased them up by email/text. I realise that may make me annoying but it costs money to cater for all those kids.

If I'd had non-replies they'd not be catered for and it would be tough luck. My take is it is rude to not respond. If you don't respond, I take that as 'no'.

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xmasseason · 04/01/2016 22:58

Usually straight away, or when I've checked the calendar.

Sometimes invitations can get lost en route, so if I hadn't replied, I'd hope the parent would ask if I'd received it.

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writingonthewall · 04/01/2016 23:14

Did you really send the invites out with only 7-10 days notice or have I misread that? If I did that no-one would be free.

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writingonthewall · 04/01/2016 23:15

sorry, just re-read, your OP implies 2 weeks notice. I would say that is far too short.

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MrFMercury · 04/01/2016 23:18

I have a January baby and sent her invites out today. If I'd done it before Christmas they'd have got lost.

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CountryRoadTakeMeHome · 04/01/2016 23:20

Appreciate its been the Christmas holidays but I think you should have handed invitations out before end of term! I always reply straight away. The shortest notice we were given was for a party the following day!

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JemmaPell · 04/01/2016 23:20

I reply straight away but I've once had the misfortune of the parent not acknowledging my RSVP text therefore to cut a very long story short, the situation became awkward Hmm

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CountryRoadTakeMeHome · 04/01/2016 23:23

My DD is also an early Jan birthday! If you have any mobile numbers of the parents I would drop them a friendly reminder text next Monday. Or if you know them well enough to talk to in the playground just give a gentle reminder!

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queenoftheboys · 04/01/2016 23:31

Like a pp, in my experience you get quite a few early replies in the first day or so (including all the "can't comes"), then a trickle, then another bunch on the RSVP day.

You get very few non-replies around here, and depending on how flexible the party venue are on numbers I'll either chase them up or not bother and do a couple of extra party bags in case.

2 weeks isn't an unusual amount of notice around here. Too much and I'm in danger of forgetting the party!

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Kitsandkids · 05/01/2016 00:09

I reply the same day and it annoys me when people don't reply at all.

When my youngest was 6 we invited the 21 other children in his class and I made it clear siblings were welcome, just let me know if they were coming. 4 people said yes, 1 said no, and I never heard from any of the others. I tried to chase up a few in the playground but only got vague 'oh we'll come if I can get a lift from someone' etc type answers, and only the 4 who replied turned up in the end. Luckily with 4 children from our family there as well it was still a nice party, but if I'd known I could have just had it at home and done a lot less food!

He turns 7 soon and I have told him we are not doing a party this year - he can bring one friend and we'll go out for the day instead.

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Idliketoteachtheworldtosing1 · 05/01/2016 00:13

Usually as soon as my son gets an invite, I know how stressful it is waiting for people to rsvp.
Hope the party goes well Smile

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