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AIBU in thinking giving 2nd hand toys as gifts...

(21 Posts)
Cuppaand2biscuits Mon 04-Jan-16 16:10:36

AIBU in thinking that if you are giving 2nd hand toys as gifts they need to at least be clean,
I really really don't have any problems with 2nd hand toys but my cousin is a repeat offender in giving 2nd hand toys that don't work properly, have missing pieces or are dirty and very worn.
I have sold things on selling sites and eBay, I would always ensure they are clean. I gave a second hand toy as a gift this year (was requested by mum) I made sure it was clean.

OurBlanche Mon 04-Jan-16 16:13:37

As in give them to the child? NU at all!

But if to the parent, well, most of mine, given and received, were modified by parents... repainted etc. But that was before the Plastic Age, so I suspect I am a tad out of date smile

Cuppaand2biscuits Mon 04-Jan-16 17:31:05

Yes, my 5 year old opened a plastic castle that was filthy with something orange dripped on it (came off with a wet wipe). It also needed the batteries changing but even then it didn't do what it does on the telly. My son got this

PeteAndManu Mon 04-Jan-16 17:43:16

YANBU if they don't work or are in good condition they shouldn't be used as presents. Mine all got some second hand presents - 1980s action men but they were in great condition and are fab. We've also been given original Star Wars toys and they are fantastic too.

Walkingintheraindrops Mon 04-Jan-16 17:44:58

That's grim, what a miser. She should be ashamed. You can't give used goods as presents!

Hackedabove Mon 04-Jan-16 17:59:22

I gave my nephew and niece our old duplo for Christmas, it went in the washing machine in a pillow case as advised on here, it split the case so I rinsed it all the bath and dried in the airing cupboard.

Niece had a micro scooter for her birthday, lovingly cleaned with anti-bac wipes.

I would only give the sort of things I could sell on eBay (if I had the time).

tiggerkid Mon 04-Jan-16 18:10:30

If your cousin is a repeat offender and it upsets you, I would personally just start declining these so called gifts. You aren't being unreasonable. Even charities expect people to donate only clean clothes/other things in a relatively good condition. They don't expect us just to offload stuff we don't want in any old state. You aren't a dumping ground, so you don't have to accept anything you don't want to accept. However confronting her would make a difficult conversation and can potentially spoil the relationship. I would just say I didn't need any more toys.

Varya Mon 04-Jan-16 18:13:41

The parents of my g.daughter gave her a pre-loved wooden jig saw puzzle from Oxfam for her main Christmas present. She was very happy with it.

JeffreySadsacIsUnwell Mon 04-Jan-16 18:19:19

Varya but was it clean with no missing pieces? Very few people have a problem with decent things in good condition. Broken and dirty, however...

CarrieLouise25 Mon 04-Jan-16 18:27:39

My SIL has given in the past:

Books that we lent her, in perfect condition, back to us (but now with scribbles on every page, and torn pages)
School workbooks for writing in (all pages written in)
Clothes covered in stains, and smelly, not even washed
Shoes worn to within an inch of their lives, still with mud encrusted on the soles
Broken toys

Can't think why we don't see her anymore. We always thought she couldn't be arsed to take them to the charity shop, so it was easier to dump them on us. Either that or she was just doing her passive aggressive shit.

There's nothing wrong with passing on second hand items, god knows there's enough waste in the world, but making sure they're clean and working; surely that's just common decency?!

Some people aren't like that though. We bought a pair of shoes on ebay said 'worn once, in perfect new condition', when they arrived, the bottoms were covered in mud. But I guess maybe she wasn't lying, they were worn once, just in a muddy field...

thickgit Mon 04-Jan-16 18:31:15

Yes, we've had dirty second hand toys for Christmas, from GRANDPARENTS. I didn't quite understand how that was an option for them at them time, but 5 years on, I get it. They simply didn't really care. Certainly wasn't lack of money.

Aeroflotgirl Mon 04-Jan-16 18:41:49

CarrieL embarrassing and shoddy of your sister. I don't mind secondhand if they are in good clean and working condition. If they are broken or dirty, no!

Quietattheback Mon 04-Jan-16 18:45:53

It is bad form to give away things that have pieces missing or are broken and dirty. I'm sorting through the baby toys and will be giving some to my neighbor for their grandchild but only after s thorough clean.

As an aside, my grandmother has never thought twice about giving second hand stuff as gifts and when I was about four she gave me a doll from a charity shop that had a droopy eye, two fingers missing and hair that had obviously been washed and then left to dry so that it permanently stuck up like a sideways mohican. I bloody loved that doll, it was my favourite. In fact it was forever referred to as favourite dolly. Children don't see the imperfections that we do.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 04-Jan-16 18:52:03

Yanbu. nothing wrong with second hand provided it's clean and it works or has all its pieces.

then it's not a gift it's just someone dumping their stuff on you

Wildernessrock Mon 04-Jan-16 18:55:35

I love 2nd hand toys- proper old toys seem to be much hardier than what you get today ( like ficher price stuff from the 80's). But I wouldn't give anything to anyone that was dirty!

Scarletforya Mon 04-Jan-16 18:57:39

It's just scabby giving tat like that. I'd rather get a coloring book and crayons than dirty, non working toys like that.

no73 Mon 04-Jan-16 19:09:11

Do you mean they got given them as Christmas presents? Or where they just passed on.

I gave a lady at work loads of my DS old toys but didn't have the chance to clean them up but I did apologise. She was just happy that she got them tbh.

mineofuselessinformation Mon 04-Jan-16 19:09:32

It entirely depends on whether they are given as single gifts for an occasion such as a birthday, or in with a mixed bag of 'would you like these?' sort of thing....
In the first case, that's really shoddy, and in the second, it there's nothing in there that's decent it's still crap.
My xh's family used to give us hand-me-down clothes which I have no problem with in principle, but they used to come complete with holes and stains... I still get annoyed at the thought.

Cuppaand2biscuits Mon 04-Jan-16 20:23:08

They were given as Christmas presents. She doesn't have children herself so she would have paid money for them from somewhere. My 5 year old is a bit confused because she's seen adverts and knows it doesn't work as it should. For her birthday she was given another toy with lots of pieces missing, my daughter knew because she'd seen it on a YouTube video!

mineofuselessinformation Mon 04-Jan-16 21:54:26

In that case, I would be tempted to transcribe a message from your child:
'Dear Aunty X.
Thank you for my xxxxx. I'm a bit sad that it doesn't work like the ones I've seen on the tv. Do you think there's something wrong with it?
Lots of love,

OurBlanche Tue 05-Jan-16 08:49:27

I would be sorely tempted to wrap it up beautifully, with a bow and glitter and everything, and gift it back to her, still dirty, for her birthday.

She really is thoughtless and mean!

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