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To think "You're too thin" is just as rude as saying you're too fat.

(127 Posts)
MySordidCakeSecret Mon 04-Jan-16 08:52:42

After being told the other day by my neighbour that i was too thin and i shouldn't lose any more wieght...

and it's no one's damned business what weight someone is either way!

TanteRose Mon 04-Jan-16 08:54:32

agree! its rude and I hate it when people say it to me

Moving15 Mon 04-Jan-16 08:55:31

I agree. It really irritates me. Along with 'why don't you have a tan'.

Iwonderwhy123 Mon 04-Jan-16 08:56:40

I don't think anyone should comment a persons weight. (Unless close family member or friend is ill from being too big/thin on which case you intervene for health reasons).

I see my mother and grandmother every few months and they always comment that I've put on or lost weight (half the time they're wrong) and that my bum/waist/legs are looking bigger/smaller. It's so bloody rude.

MySordidCakeSecret Mon 04-Jan-16 08:57:49

I think it's just astoundingly rude to first point out someone's weight as if they hadn't noticed themselves, and at the same time to make a judgement on whether it's acceptable or not hmm

AliciaMayEmory Mon 04-Jan-16 09:01:08

Always said with a faux air of concern that 'they look so ill' being thin. YANBU! But then its funny that so many people are going to extremes (and great expense) now it's the new year to actually become thin. So that leads me to think they have other reasons to criticise...

LarrytheCucumber Mon 04-Jan-16 09:01:25

Yes, it's rude. I lost a lot of weight at one point through illness and the other thing I noticed was that people compliment you on losing weight, which isn't what you want when you are ill.

raisin3cookies Mon 04-Jan-16 09:02:22


Until society says that being too thin is a moral failing rather than an extreme accomplishment, or that finding clothes that fit in every shop on the high street is a burden, or that every trip to the doctor is met with "just put on a stone and your malaise will magically sort itself out" <pats head and pushes you out the door>

It really isn't the same.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouWakeUpFlawless Mon 04-Jan-16 09:02:34

I've had it all my life...
I'm naturally a size 6, no matter what I eat. People think it's acceptable to make comments on my weight, thinking it doesn't hurt but it does.
I would never dream of saying to a fat person 'oh gosh, you're looking big you should lose some weight'

xOdessax Mon 04-Jan-16 09:03:24

Agree. YANBU

raisin3cookies Mon 04-Jan-16 09:03:34

However, commenting on a person's weight in either direction is nosy and often unwelcome. So yabu on that aspect.

Bakeoffcake Mon 04-Jan-16 09:03:46

I've had it said to me in the past and I'd think they were incredibly rude at the time.
However looking back at photos, I can see they were right. I did look dreadful and friends were just concerned for me. I was still at the low end of ok BMI but I now realise I look much healthier with a BMI of around 22.

Have you lost a lot of weight, is your BMI still healthy?

raisin3cookies Mon 04-Jan-16 09:03:55

Ugh yanbu

CoodleMoodle Mon 04-Jan-16 09:04:12

Someone once gave me a pitying, head-tilty look and said: "You're so thin. Is it drugs?"

No, fuck off! So incredibly rude. I can't help being 'slim' (underweight, actually) and it's nobody's business anyway.

wishingchair Mon 04-Jan-16 09:06:44

My dd is naturally extremely slim. She gets upset/angry at comments. It's like it's ok to use the term "skinny bitch" (listen to Meghan Trainor's All about the Bass for some top slim-shaming lyrics). It's really not ok.

BertrandRussell Mon 04-Jan-16 09:07:35

Well, until someone posting about being called too fat is possibly a stealth boast then you are being unreasonable!

ExplodingCarrots Mon 04-Jan-16 09:09:30

YANBU. It fucks me off. I've had it at both ends of the spectrum. You can't win no matter what.

After I lost some weight I was hounded by some family members (mostly in laws) saying please don't lose anymore weight you don't need to. I still had quite a bit to lose. They were all female and either had weight issues themselves or had been on diets on and off all their lives. I just ignore or say 'well I'm going to get to a weight that I'M happy with'

I find a lot of the time it's pure jealousy. I even got grief when I first walked in to a SW group from women who said I shouldn't be there (I was 3 and a half stone overweight hmm)

BrideOfWankenstein Mon 04-Jan-16 09:10:38


However, I'd rather hear "you're too thin" every day than see the "you're too fat" in people's eyes. I am probably imagining it

BertrandRussell Mon 04-Jan-16 09:12:31

"I'm naturally a size 6, no matter what I eat."

No you're not. Any more than a size 20 woman is that naturally no matter what she eats. That's not how bodies work!

MySordidCakeSecret Mon 04-Jan-16 09:14:15

raisin cookies that's what i'm saying, it's just as rude either extreme.

MySordidCakeSecret Mon 04-Jan-16 09:17:18

bakeoff my bmi is just over 20 so well within the healthy range, I lost a lot of weight last yr after putting on a lot whilst pregnant but i just think it's rude to comment unless it's a conversation you might have previously had about wanting to lose/put on weight. Other than that surely i think we're the experts on ourselves and don't need other people commenting on it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 04-Jan-16 09:17:53

It is rude to comment on weight but I think YABU

Everyone (most people?) want to be slim/thin. No one wants to be fat. Therefore people who make that comment maybe think it's more of a compliment than anything?

SparklyTinselTits Mon 04-Jan-16 09:18:05

One person told me I am way too pale. I must be ill. Even after I assured her half a dozen times that I most definitely am not ill, just very pale all year round, she still insisted that I must be ill, and I'm clearly not taking care of myself hmm my weight is clearly the problem according to this woman. I'm not eating enough to "keep the blood pumping" hmm
Gutted that she hadn't seen me half an hour beforehand shovelling a Big Mac into my face confused

WilburIsSomePig Mon 04-Jan-16 09:18:19

It's rude. I've lost just over 2.5 stone last year and my friend told me that I shouldn't lose anymore or I'll 'look ridiculous' and 'too thin'. I am far from too thin, I still have another stone or so to lose before I'll be within a healthy weight range for my height. This friend started slimming world at the same time as I did but gave up and I really think she wants me to as well to make herself feel better.

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