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Why does this irritate me so much?

(35 Posts)
FairyFluffbum Mon 04-Jan-16 08:38:02

A "friend" i used to be good friends with is due twins in the next couple of months... Two girls

She keeps referring to them as twincesses envy

Seriously?! Why!

It's not her first baby or even her first girl before people say maybe she's excited by first girl/baby.

I will be the first to admit I do have judgey pants about her since these are babies 3 and 4 by the same guy who she cheated with and is still a single mum. She is cobstantly preaching about how a brilliant mum she is la la la

But seeing twincesses is giving me the rage!

MLGs Mon 04-Jan-16 08:53:58

You may find it is to mask her anxiety about how she will cope with twins!

It is an annoying phrase but not a big deal.

Also the cheating bit is not really relevant. The babies are just as entitled to be loved and valued!

DoreenLethal Mon 04-Jan-16 08:56:22

I had to defriend someone who did this. She treated them like they were the be all and end all and then wondered why her older son had difficulties [he was fine until they were born flown down from heaven by flying unicorns]

FairyFluffbum Mon 04-Jan-16 08:59:39

I think aswell she keeps going on about clothes and how much they are etc. Obviously she doesn't have a lot of money.

So I offered her some tiny baby vests (she's after tiny baby stuff) that were never opened as I got a bundle when my tiny one was born.

I did tell her they were blue but no they ( the twins) have to wear matching clothes.

Now she has every right to not want to accept clothes but if you are desperate surely you wouldn't turn away brand new vests even if they were blue. Not like anyone is going to see the vests!

BerylStreep Mon 04-Jan-16 09:04:43

Save yourself the angst and just take a step back. If you don't agree with her choice of words, her cheating on her partner and turning down offers of clothes (and I would have a problem with the cheating), then just distance yourself from her.

coffeetasteslikeshit Mon 04-Jan-16 09:09:00

I quite like the pun of twincesses blush

FairyFluffbum Mon 04-Jan-16 09:11:27

It wasn't her partner she cheated with.

It was her ex who was with a new girl. He is an arse anyway and actually hit her when she got pregnant again as he lost his gf because of it.

And yes I will take a step back.

I admire her in one way as she was a complete addict not long after she finished school but turned her life around completely when she had her first daughter but she throws herself into the kids too much I think

Goingtobeawesome Mon 04-Jan-16 09:18:28

I agreed a bit until the last sentence.

Pidapie Mon 04-Jan-16 09:25:26

I'd just get some distance, it's not necessary to stay close in touch with someone who irritates you so much :p problem solved.

YakTriangle Mon 04-Jan-16 09:25:29

I think that would annoy me a bit too, and I don't like seeing siblings dressed the same.

ptumbi Mon 04-Jan-16 09:39:51

A ex-friend of mine used to call her twin girls 'Kidettes' (as in cadets) It was excruciating.

m0therofdragons Mon 04-Jan-16 09:51:30

Do you know what "twincesses" isn't a word I've ever used but quite honestly there are far more things to worry about and whatever she calls them someone will criticise. I have 3 girls. Dd1 always referred to dtds as "the girls" and dh and I still do. Someone told me off because dd1 was also one of the girls but it was her who came up with it. Anyway it works for us. Re matching clothes - from a practical side it means you only have to choose one outfit and in a park as toddlers it actually made it easier for me to keep an eye on them when they went in different directions. Now they're 4 and rarely wear the same but have lots of same dresses that they wear with different tights or tops under. Usually it's because I'm shopping with limited time and if I find a dress I like it's quicker to buy 2 rather than hunt for another. They also have hand me downs too but the last ones I was given also brought these odd white things that I now know to be carpet moths. Not really money saving as now 2 carpets are ruined hmm

m0therofdragons Mon 04-Jan-16 09:55:38

What's not to like about seeing siblings dressed the same? If my 3dds choose the same dress should I say no? It is such a bizarre thing to have such a strong opinion about.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 04-Jan-16 09:58:23

Me too coffee, I haven't heard it before. It made me smile. Although our family makes puns out of most words and phrases.

honeysucklejasmine Mon 04-Jan-16 10:05:46

Slightly OT: As a twin, can I please ask you don't call twins a collective name? "The twins" is the single most annoying thing anyone has called me. I am not one half of a whole. I am a person on my own. But so many people would think I am only worth half a birthday card. Or half a cake. Growing up, everyone else was referred to by their name, except "the twins". Very annoying.


DropYourSword Mon 04-Jan-16 10:09:33

OP Why does it irritate you so much. Can't you just be happy for your friend??

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit Mon 04-Jan-16 10:15:45

Right. So your friend is on her own with soon to be 4 DC, after getting pregnant by her ex who assaulted her when he found out.

And your main concern is that she uses term of endearment for her twins you din't like?

Some "friend" you are. Can't you see how calous you are being? Would you want to be in her shoes?

NoahVale Mon 04-Jan-16 10:16:30

yes, op, you could always rain on her parade by reminding her not to call them twins to their faces when they are older, as it depersonalizes, or something, them, deinvidivualise perhaps, otherwise just realise that once they are born she will definately find it hard

myusernamewastaken Mon 04-Jan-16 10:18:03

I had a friend on fb who referred to her 2 daughters as her 'lil ladies' used to make my blood boil......its almost as vomit inducing as the use of 'hun' all over fb x

Minisoksmakehardwork Mon 04-Jan-16 10:22:56

My twins were known as 'twump' in-utero as they are boy/girl twins. It's just a nickname people give their bump. Like peanut, bean etc but which acknowledges there are two of them.

I can't get het up over that. Irked maybe that she's being silly over clothes - I love my twins coordinating but it's not always achievable and as you say, they're under clothes.

Equally, I'd maybe point out that they would be wearing the same blue vests. But I guess you mean she wants them in pink. Again, her choice but I couldn't have afforded to be so choosy when my twins were tiny and gratefully accepted any offers of clothes.

Anniegetyourgun Mon 04-Jan-16 10:25:25

If she has an addictive personality it may be that the children have replaced the dodgy substances (and hopefully the ghastly ex partner) as the focus of addiction, which is healthier of course but may bring its own problems.

"Twincesses" is dreadfully twee I agree, but each to their own 'n' all that.

Dipankrispaneven Mon 04-Jan-16 10:32:48

I fear that if anyone started talking about twincesses in my presence I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face.

MushroomMama Mon 04-Jan-16 10:43:56

I know a lady who refers to her twins as twincesses sadly one was still born so I think it helps her with her grief. I don't mind the name personally

She sounds like she's had a rough time of it. Addiction often leads to terrible relationship choices and low self esteem so as much as it grates on you you should either take a step back or try and be more supportive

tbtc20 Mon 04-Jan-16 10:50:15

That's interesting. I am not a twin, but am very close in age to my sister and also from a large family. Thus, I was often one of "the girls", or just "another tbtc child".

It was only when I left for Uni that I truly felt I was ME!

m0therofdragons Mon 04-Jan-16 11:04:05

Slightly OT: As a twin, can I please ask you don't call twins a collective name? "The twins" is the single most annoying thing anyone has called me. I am not one half of a whole. I am a person on my own. But so many people would think I am only worth half a birthday card. Or half a cake. Growing up, everyone else was referred to by their name, except "the twins". Very annoying.

My friend has 4 boys (not twins) and she calls them "the boys" as a collective as running off 4 names when talking about them is totally unecessary.

Do you know what makes my blood boil? People speaking on behalf of others. You don't like being called the twins that's fine but others really don't care. What's really wrong with saying "the twins went to London" in conversation? How is that different from "my youngest two went to London".

I would love to still be referred to as one of "the twins" but unfortunately my twin sister died so I don't get to be called it.

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