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MIL question to my mum

(18 Posts)
orangepudding Sun 03-Jan-16 17:19:22

My in laws visited us on Boxing Day. My mum was over and was staying with us around Christmas.

I over heard MIL asking my mum if she loved me. My mum replied that of course she did.

AIBU in thinking this is a really odd question to ask someone? It really did just come from nowhere, my mum and I are really close so I could see no reason why my MIL would think she didn't love me. Also my IL's and my mum only see each other once a year around Christmas and don't have any mutual friends.

AyeAmarok Sun 03-Jan-16 17:24:08

How strange! That's really odd.

I'm trying to think of a non-weird explanation/context, but failing.

BrideOfWankenstein Sun 03-Jan-16 17:24:55

I laughed at it.
I think your MIL felt a bit awkward in your DM's company and said first thing that came to her mind. She probably feels silly about it herself.

FinallyHere Sun 03-Jan-16 17:25:16


Very puzzlin.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sun 03-Jan-16 17:27:30

Ynbu. What a strange question to ask someone. There's got to be a back story though as to why she asked. Does she not love one of her own children for example . I mean asking someone if they love their child is very emotive its not a 'lets make conversation question is it for that you'd talk about the weather or the fact that they d have easter eggs in the shops next week

GabiSolis Sun 03-Jan-16 17:30:31

Is MIL a bit of a shit stirrer? I'm wondering if she's feeling possessive of you and DH and wants your DM to feel on the outside? Questioning her love for you could be a tactic.

orangepudding Sun 03-Jan-16 17:34:35

it did offend my DM but at the time she just brushed it off.

My IL have been very generous to us all financially but I don't feel like we have any sort of emotional attachment. Perhaps she feels I am incapable of love and is looking to blame DM! MIL does see both her children but we are not a close family.

Notimefortossers Sun 03-Jan-16 17:39:26

I would just tell her you overheard and are wondering why she asked that? Otherwise it will drive you mad . . . or at least it would me

ghostspirit Sun 03-Jan-16 17:42:30

i was thinking same as livinginlighthouse had she had a few drinks? sometimes people say strange things when they been drinking

orangepudding Sun 03-Jan-16 17:46:32

No alcohol involved.

I would love to ask but MIL would not answer. DPs parents are very good at not answering when they don't want too.

LordBrightside Sun 03-Jan-16 17:47:39

Very weird behaviour. She sounds like one for watching. What does your husband make of this bizarre question?

Goingtobeawesome Sun 03-Jan-16 17:50:26

Ask her then when she doesn't answer refuse to talk to her. Let her see how pathetic and rude it is to not answer when someone talks to you.

orangepudding Sun 03-Jan-16 17:50:55

DH thinks it's a bizarre question to ask, I think part of him doesn't quite believe it as it's such a random and inappropriate question!

SoWhite Sun 03-Jan-16 18:02:30

It is weird to ask, but I kind of get why she would.

Maybe MIL isn't happy with how her own life has turned out as is looking to those in similar situations (i.e. married, grown up children) to reflect with.

Similar to how my best pal ask me a sex question last night - to gauge if her feelings about this particular issue were normal or shared.

FlatOnTheHill Sun 03-Jan-16 18:06:53

Very strange question to ask a mother. confused

Asskicker Sun 03-Jan-16 18:07:31

I remember dbros mil asking my mum if she approved of me getting pregnant so close to dbros wedding. I gave birth 6 months before the wedding and was pregnant when they got engaged, I found out 3 weeks later.

Mum was like 'eh?'

We personally think it said more about her feelings towards my pregnancy than about my mum.

I would think that maybe she doesn't feel the way she expected to, about her own children.

Still even if she doesn't love her kids like she thinks she should, it's a random question to ask someone you barely know.

SoWhite Sun 03-Jan-16 18:35:41

I would think that maybe she doesn't feel the way she expected to, about her own children.

This is what I think too, and poorly articulated in my last post.

Atenco Sun 03-Jan-16 20:13:04

"I would think that maybe she doesn't feel the way she expected to, about her own children"

Yeap, sounds like that to me. Please don't judge her on it.

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